Comments for A Self Development Blogging Community of Higher Awareness Wed, 28 Sep 2016 21:49:26 +0000 hourly 1 Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by Anja Wed, 28 Sep 2016 21:49:26 +0000 Hello, Lianne!

Thank you so much for your response. I must not have checked the “notify me of new comments via email,” because I didn’t receive an email. Good thing I checked the post again!

You’ve given me something to think about here, and I must conclude that I’m extremely happy with my choice of man to marry, but that something has been lacking. We’ve had the most stressful two years I have ever experienced, and it hasn’t been either person’s fault. We’ve gone through medical trauma, lost pregnancy, being disowned by his parents, moving cross-country twice, a period where he worked 100 hours a week for over six months, financial trauma, and finally deciding to build our own house (and doing so) with our own hands while both maintaining full-time jobs.

I almost didn’t make it. I mean that. Suicide (during the period where I didn’t get a day off for several months) was an actual, considered option. My health is still recovering, and I’m thankful for a robust body and mind in this life. I never blamed my love for any of this, and I stuck by him in almost all ways. Almost never got bitchy, snipy, etc. But it’s true that while we didn’t break, we’re both burned out and numb. We are recovering very slowly, and reconnecting day by day. I’m starting to feel something for him and for the life I’ve chosen again. The feeling of being known, understood, and cared for by the other man has not dissipated at all.

If I were single, I would consider pursuing this new man, because our connection is pure and real (I feel fairly certain that I’m not projecting my stress with my current life onto him – he is impoverished, a father of a child, and circumstances wouldn’t be any different). Since I’m not, I certainly won’t, and I won’t regret that because the man I chose fills about 90% of what one could ever desire in a romantic partner. We’re physically, emotionally, intellectually compatible. It is true that the other man hints at being able to fill the other 10% (namely a certain kind of intensity and otherworldly verbal banter – we’re almost inside each other’s minds), but he’s almost certainly lacking in quite a bit of the first 90%. I suppose I’m trying to convey that I regret nothing but also don’t want to cut off one of the only real friendships I’ve ever felt (in this life it is NOT a romantic connection, but I feel the echoes of that!) out of a misplaced sense of morality – like it would be wrong to connect because I’m romantically partnered.

In fact, I’ve shared almost everything I’ve shared with you with my partner, and told him that he had nothing to worry about. He was honest and vulnerable and thought the connection was a good thing, and we had a fantastic conversation around all this. If he had a connection similar to this, I might feel a twinge of jealousy, but would encourage him to nourish the connection because we only get so much to experience in this life, and I want my love to experience it to the fullest…

Does that make sense?

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by Anonymous Sun, 18 Sep 2016 22:19:04 +0000 Hi Lianne,

I read your article and I think it’s very interesting. I have been interested in the concept of past lives for the past year, after reading the book Miracles Happen by Dr. Brian Weiss.

My story is a little different than others, as it does not involve a relationship with a man. I am a young woman in my 20’s, and last year I met this other young woman at my workplace. We are similar ages, and have similar interests. We connected easily, and there was at least one instance where we said the exact same thing at the same time! I had not experienced that in years, so I was surprised.

Shortly after we met, one of her relatives was diagnosed with cancer. I shared that my mom had been diagnosed with cancer about 6 months ago, and she said it was nice that someone understood. My mom went through chemotherapy treatments and her cancer was in remission by the time my friend’s relative was diagnosed. Unfortunately, her relative passed away from the cancer in a few months’ time.
Many friends came to console her in the beginning, though after a month or so three people, including myself, continued to support her. I felt our bond strengthen about two months later, when she verbally expressed that I and another coworker were her friends.
Then a few more months passed, and it was late June of this year. She was wearing a long dress, and I had never seen her wear a dress before. I wanted to compliment her, but forgot in the moment.
Later that evening, as we were chatting, a scene entered my mind; it was one that reminded me of one of the past life regression passages from the Miracles Happen book.
The passage told of a young woman in a flowing dress who was running through a field and across a bridge, knowing she had to leave her husband. Her husband ends up finding her in a farmhouse in a room alone, and she had been poisoned.(Whether she poisoned herself or someone else did, I was not certain.) The husband felt devastated, and that they did not have enough time together.
It was then that I wondered if we met in a past life…

Then, this past week, I saw her wearing a dress again, a different one this time (we don’t see each other every day, so perhaps she wears dresses more often than I am aware of).
This time, we were riding in a van together, with other people. We were sitting right next to each other, which made me feel a bit awkward, even though we are close friends. I guess I should note that I was not wearing a dress, but a t-shirt and shorts.
Then we looked out the window, and saw the full moon. It was large and bright orange, and I felt something romantic from it. I looked towards my friend and felt like I wanted to kiss her; then my logical mind stepped in, and said “No, don’t do that.” So I didn’t.

I looked up “past life relationships” that night, and I found this website. When I read the part about “Inappropriate Sexual Attraction”, I stopped breathing. It sounded a lot like what I had experienced that night.
I saw her the following day (we were working together) and I tried not to feel awkward around her. I tried to treat her like a friend and not act distant, because she did not do anything wrong.
Luckily she was not wearing a dress; otherwise I may have panicked, or fainted.

As a final note, I do consider myself to be straight.

Thank you for reading this long comment, I really appreciate it.

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by J Fri, 16 Sep 2016 05:33:31 +0000 As a small addition: I always made it known that I never expected grand gestures of friendship, affection or attention from him, that I loved in the way I could and he should love in the way he could and if nothing else I just wanted a friendship equal to that which he gave everyone one else. I only wanted to be just like the rest of his friends.I guess I am just disappointed that he could not even manage to do that.

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by J Fri, 16 Sep 2016 05:21:16 +0000 Dear Lianne,

A lot of what you say makes sense to me. I will say though that I have never been someone to depend on another to fulfill my needs. I am a strong, self aware young woman with a very steady intellectual head on my shoulders thanks to many life experiences that allowed personal and spiritual growth.That is why this particular friendship is quite a frustrating thing for me. I have been through difficult relationships, work and personal, and have handled them perfectly well without long-term damage to any party involved. Somehow my clarity of thought, problem-solving ability and knack for easing a conflict that has previously allowed me to help others and myself just does not work with this man. He ended this months ago, but I have decided to finally acknowledge the end our friendship from my side with an email explaining how I felt – that I was sorry I was not brave enough to let him go before, but that his current ignorance has only worsened any hurt and I wished he’d let me go peacefully instead of painfully. I did tell him that I still loved him and would always miss him before my final goodbye. Whether he reads it or not, I don’t know. I just know that neither of us is where we want to be with regards to each other and that I have to live my life without him. It makes me so disheartened because I feel that I will never stop loving him this way. I will be returning to that town in a few months to finish my work there in the same place he works. Life is a bit too cruel sometimes.

Thank you for your words.

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by Lianne Downey Fri, 16 Sep 2016 02:18:08 +0000 Dear J: I think what you are experiencing is a complete and total difference of opinion about what you need from a friendship. And yes, perhaps a past-life experience or two that left you feeling unfulfilled, as if this person could not, in the present lifetime, do enough to fill the empty space left in your heart by a previous life experience, by an unhappy experience. It might even be that the past-life experience, which I don’t know details about, was involving another person. But this man, who has now severed your friendship in frustration, represented something or someone from your past-life history. Or–it might be that it WAS him, and you both ended that lifetime with you feeling as if he still owed you something.

I don’t know if this will make sense to you. But what I gather he is feeling, from your description of his behavior, is a frustration at never doing enough in terms of “friendship” to please you. And if you are female and he is a gay man, then this relationship will never be what you might experience in a fully heterosexual relationship, where your intimacy and sharing could explore in every direction, if you will. This makes me wonder if your constant thoughts of this man are in some way, subconsciously, protecting you from exploring a more complete relationship, a romantic relationship with a heterosexual man, if that is your orientation. But let’s stick with the friendship issue you have described.

You must resolve to let this man be free. He has tried, and suffered, from your description, to be what you expected. He probably does deeply care for you, otherwise he would have given up long ago. But your ideas about what the friendship should be are so much more involved than his! You are needing him too much, wanting him to fill a cup that will likely never be filled because, in fact, it is an emotional cup you were holding out in a previous life that was not filled. He cannot accomplish this for you. At this stage, only you can discover what it is that you want someone else to compensate you for, and then, you must find within yourself the missing element. Friendship, lovers–they cannot do this for you. They cannot complete a missing part of your being! This is the lesson you are trying to teach yourself, to look within, not outside of yourself, for that feeling you seek.

If you would like to ask me additional questions, if you cannot understand what I am saying, I will be here listening. Thank you for posting!

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by Lianne Downey Fri, 16 Sep 2016 01:55:21 +0000 Dear Anja, it is so interesting that two of you have commented in sequence regarding a man twice your age. (See Sara-Joy’s comment and my reply.)

But each situation is unique. You said, “It’s all these ghosts of memory, messing with my head.” So true! We do remember people as we knew them but usually this is deeply subconscious. It affects our response to them, and also affects our behavior. Or it will, unless we choose very consciously to put aside what wells up inside of us from the “ghosts of memory.” No, we can’t pursue a relationship with every “old friend” who crosses our path, coming back to us from many previous life associations. It simply wouldn’t be appropriate in every case! Thank you for sharing an example of such a re-connection that is only going to go so far, in the present lifetime. And yet, you still have enjoyed the benefits of what you have built together from previous lifetimes.

Think of the fact that even parents and children have known one another before, in different sorts of relationships. Romantic relationships, business relationships, friend relationships, family relationships — they all spin around in our “knowing” of these special individuals, with whom we have spent many lives developing an association. Each time, we lived out our connection to one another in a different sort of social setting and from a different set of rules for our behavior. And thank goodness! Things go terribly wrong when we go too far out of boundaries, for instance, the inappropriate expression known as incest, and so on. We cannot and should not simply try to repeat the past. What would be the benefit of that?

The real benefit is what we accumulate from living out these various types of love/connection. What we learn from being in a business partnership, and what we learn from living as siblings. Different ways of respecting one another. Of sharing knowledge, compassion, affection. We build our wisdom this way. We help each other to grow as souls living an eternal existence. It is quite beautiful, when I view it from this long perspective!

Do not be sad or feel pain from this, dear Anja. Think instead of the wonderful opportunities you are having to encounter two such individuals in your life. And do please think on this: Are you denying some of your thought and interest and fascination to the man you have married? (Or have you not married the first man you mentioned?) Is there something in that relationship that was lacking, hence your fascination with the second man? Is this second man what I call a “crowbar relationship,” where he is merely coming to show you what you refuse to realize about what might be missing from your comfortable live-in companionship, to “pry you out” of it like a crowbar? Hard questions I want you to ask yourself.

Generally, when we are fulfilled and content in a romantic connection, we do not need to see interest elsewhere, or it does not entice us. You’ve even hinted that you might consider ignoring society to pursue a more physical connection with this new man. That gave me a clue that you are unfulfilled at home. Ask yourself if that first relationship is as ideal as it once was, and then do what you can to make your life the best it can be–for both of you. It is not fair to the man at home to share the best parts of yourself with someone else. That takes away the possibility of closeness and intimacy of spirit in your relationship. When you are tempted to share elsewhere, it means that perhaps the first, original relationship has broken, but you hadn’t yet recognized it. You needed a contrast (the second man) to show you what it lacks.

I hope this makes sense to you, and that you will consider how to live your life in the most beneficial way for your spiritual evolution, and for the benefits it will have in all future lifetimes–both yours, and your friends’.
Best wishes! Lianne

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by Lianne Downey Fri, 16 Sep 2016 00:27:50 +0000 Dear Sara-Joy, I do have some thoughts to share with you.

As you already know, you have undoubtedly known both of these individuals in previous lifetimes. We share so many lives with so many people! You’ve lived thousands of past lives (anyone reading this likely has). So keep in mind that it’s not a “one and only one” prospect when it comes to love. But we do have particular love experiences that we want to resolve for each lifetime, experiences from which we learn HOW to love in more infinite, regenerative, and beautiful ways.

Feeling like you don’t even care about living: Let me say that this can be a dangerous side effect when you’ve known someone who committed suicide. Their spirit might influence you to feel this way. Try to identify these feelings as not fully your own. And now, thinking of past lives and future lives, you know that suicide is NOT an answer to any problem. You will still have to rebuild an energy body sufficiently formed to reincarnate and, once again, face the same problem. Rebuilding your energy structure after suicide is a long, long, tricky process. We can be helped, as your friend will be now, but that might take quite a while indeed. It really sets a soul backwards in the upward evolutionary climb! So, keep your face turned to the Light of your own life and let’s talk about that loving relationship you are now enjoying!

I sometimes think of certain relationships as “healing relationships.” After my first marriage, I enjoyed one of those. It was brief but so therapeutic! We were only married for three years, this second husband and I, but he repaired much damage I had sustained during my first education in relationships. Ultimately, though, we had different agendas in life and although we had gotten along so well, we realized we needed to part or go crazy by not pursuing our individual directions. Our goals did not match. Plus, he was from a different culture. We had identified and resolved our karmic connections, so both ventured off to discover new and exciting and wonderful things (and fell in love with others soon after, both of us). Who knew? We had to trust our hearts.

And now, I am married to a man who was, back then, considered “age inappropriate” (too young). We have enjoyed a wonderful relationship of shared goals, mutual respect, and balanced give and take for 27 years now! As our spiritual mentor once said, “What’s age got to do with it?” Nothing at all, it turns out. (Although he was of legal, adult age; I am not advocating truly inappropriate relationships with teenagers here.)

So don’t deny yourself the love you are experiencing. Don’t listen to others. But do listen to your own heart! Enjoy that peace and fulfillment you are feeling. Our life purpose is not to live an “ideal” existence with a “perfect” partner. It is to experience, learn, and discover how to become more loving, compassionate Beings in this infinite universe. The life you’ve experienced thus far has undoubtedly meant a great deal to you, in terms of learning. Carry on! You are finding your way! And keep a beautiful, happy, loving state of mind, content to explore and grow. That will protect you always from any unwanted thoughts of others, whether they be nay-sayers in the flesh or in the astral. Don’t let them destroy your happiness! Take this new relationship at face value, and live in that glow for as long as it keeps glowing for both of you. You’ve earned this time of healing.
Much love to you —

Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by J Thu, 15 Sep 2016 04:52:01 +0000 Hi Lianne,

I am so glad to have found your site during my year long search internally and in the world in understanding the only complicated relationship I’ve ever had in my 30 years of life. Having gone through your list of how to recognise past life relationships, I would like to explain the situation and request your experience and knowledge to guide me if at all possible, as I am starting to think that a past life involvement may be the only explanation. It’s quite a long post so my apologies for that.

I met a male colleague on the first day of starting a new degree in a new country. He was the brightest person (metaphorically) I had ever met, I was drawn to him and felt like he was meant to be in my life. We had a very easy work friendship that evolved to social-circles and crossed into the real friendship territory. It felt so right to have this man as my friend and someone I could have fun with and confide in when I needed it. When I learnt he was gay (through people who knew him for less a period than I no less), I admit I was surprised and sad but I loved our friendship as it was and wanted to allow it to grow. We spent a lot of time together – the typical ‘I made plans, he made plans’ type thing, but always leaving sufficient distance so as not to overwhelm him with my strong feelings. Then I became ill (viral infection had travelled to my heart) and I had to be hospitalized for a day. I was scared and confided in him what was going on and he immediately wanted to come to my side, but I held him off because I didn’t want him to see me so weak and scared. He was worried and after work searched for me at the hospital and when he couldn’t find me there (I was discharged), he came to my home to feed me and hold me until early the next morning before I told him he needed rest and decided to leave. Everything was good and I openly expressed my thanks to him for being there, we exchanged words of loving each other and it was perfect. To this day thoughts of him (only him ever) and the love and affection I have makes me tingle from my chest to my fingertips (Is this the butterflies you talk about?) In the time that passed I found I could finally make him happy in any and every way, beyond just being thankful, because he cared about me in return. I would write notes of encouragement as he was writing his dissertation for his degree, shower him with sweets and chocolates (and share with others in the office too so as to not make it too blatant), and small gifts for my best friend from my occasional travels.

That was three years ago and while my love for him and thus my behaviour (guilt?) hasn’t changed, I have been on the receiving end of the worst friendship from him I have ever experienced. The difficulty and conflict has steadily ebbed and flowed for 1.5 years now. It manifested in a form of ‘the unquenchable anger you mention – he slowly started to exclude me from work and social activities and online social networks, leaving me alone in a room full of people and being an intuitive and observant problem solver I politely confronted him on this behaviour. I was told there was nothing wrong. But the behaviour continued and it bothered me immensely but I’d bottle it up until the next confrontation. A few happened and everytime I was made to feel like I was imagining it, making me angrier because I wasn’t and his punishment for me asking was spending time with everyone and limited time with me. It reached a climax in February this year when he expressed not being able to be the friend I needed but still wanting to maintain the friendship. A week later he obliterated my trust by completely breaking up with me, saying he wanted no personal contact whatsoever. There were tears and upheaval and confusion on my part because it didn’t feel right. I emailed him an apology for anything i’d done wrong, confusion over not knowing how to fix it, and ‘I will miss you always’.

A week of silence later he contacted me apologising, saying he had handled things poorly as despite advising other to discuss and work through the problems, he would walk away or ignore problems instead of repairing them. He expressed a lot of remorse, confusion and anxiety. He attributed the push pull dynamic to the pent up feelings after I said or did something involving normal fleeting human emotions albeit negative (being jealous of someones holiday trip / confessing to having sympathetic stress when he was stressed / asking to spend quality time together) and that he continued to silently harbour these negative feelings of his guilt at spending time with others, him believing I was jealous about it and making him feel like he was all I had to depend on, creating in him immense frustration, anger, stress, anxiety to the point of physical illness. I was dumbfounded that few my words had such an effect when others, including him, often offhandedly say worse and openly judge mutual acquaintances. I apologised to him and explained that my actions were not of true jealousy of mutual friends or his friends, that he should spend time with all his friends just like i do with mine and while i felt immensely close to him, as a best friend I had other friends that I also depended on when I needed support. We mutually decided then that expressing our feelings would help and we promised to earn back the trust and friendship that was lost. I was glad and looked forward to a long friendship with someone I loved and who stated repeatedly “I care about you more than you know”.

Since then I gave him every opportunity to do this and we happily spent time together occasionally by going on walks and meeting for lunch. It seemed like we could get back on board with each other and I was happy even giving him the little distance he preferred to have. It suddenly changed again though before my having to move away 2 months ago. Despite me telling him when this would be, he decidedly didn’t listen and got angry at me because he said no one told him I was leaving. I was sad and hurt at him ignoring my conversations but pressed forward as to why he didn’t want to say goodbye in person as I really wanted to see him. He quickly volunteered to see me off and it was a happy-sad moment of love, warm hugs that felt like he’d never let me go and hidden tears. When I happily contacted him a few days later I received the coldest most detached email of blunt answers to my questions, his work complaints and busyness, negativity and not a single ‘how are you’ to continue conversation. I was angry again and called him on it resulting in his declaring to stop speaking and him ignoring my follow up confused emails (asking why and what changed, what can be done to fix things, apologising, saying i won’t give up on him) for over 2 months now. I tried leaving him alone for a month then sent a reconciling request last month so that we could be civil but he never replied. He’s just cut me out of his life while happily maintaining an online presence and open friendships with everyone else in and outside our social circle. I am being torn apart during my every waking moment because I feel this was the wrong thing to do. It feels like there is a strong bond between us when we are together and always emotional turmoil and mental miscommunication when apart.

These feelings I have towards him are not going away months later, it feels like waking up every morning has him ending our bond all over again. All I know from my side is that I love him without abandon and it doesn’t diminish with him pushing me away and him hurting me. counsellors and mental health professionals have not been able to provide any insight. I feel like he is in emotional pain and have the urge to look after him, make it all better, give him the happiness and love he deserves and I know I can do it if he would just allow me to. I feel I am not in control over this love and I think he feels the same loss of control but but he keeps running away from me when we get close so I can’t be sure. Is this even within the realm of an inextricable past life relationship? Or am I just tangled in a web of misunderstanding, emotions and deceit? It has left me in a worse place than where I started so I cannot seem to see the lessons I’m supposed to learn.

I know this was a long post to get through but thank you so much for your time and patience and contribution to the world.


Comment on 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies by Anja Wed, 14 Sep 2016 19:52:47 +0000 Hello Lianne!

Thanks for this heartfelt post and for giving so much of yourself and your thought to all these commenters. It’s very touching to read so many people going through something so similar.

And here’s another one – I don’t have a question, necessarily, because there’s nothing to be “done” in this situation. But the same thing has happened to me as has happened to all these lovely people. I’ve met, and felt an incredibly strong pull to someone who I am convinced must be a past-life husband or lover.

I’ve been in a wonderful, close, fated relationship for five years with someone whom I adore, who adores me, and whom I felt that same connection to when I first saw him! Time stood still, he was the most beautiful thing I ever saw, and when he asked me out I opened my mouth to say “no” (I wasn’t so open in the past, and the level of my attraction to him deeply frightened me) and “yes” came out instead! I now feel that I was following a script I planned out before i was born, and that my partner and I were meant to be together in this way. The meeting came after following a difficult gut instinct to uproot myself and move states with only two suitcases…fortune favors the brave, I guess 🙂

So that background is to establish that I’m in a great relationship that I have no desire to leave or “step out” on. About a year ago I met a man at my workplace: a man twice my age, with a very interesting, esoteric air about him. I do my best to retain judgment in general, but my opinion of him was that of most of my coworkers – he is well-liked but considered a bit ‘kooky’, as he seems to reside on a higher plane than almost anyone else.

His area of expertise was something I gradually became interested in learning more about (through channels unrelated to him), and so I contracted to meet with him in private to discuss this. We met several times once a week, and over this period an intense, indescribable closeness developed. No boundaries were crossed, and nothing romantic discussed, but a deep sense of being kindred spirits arose, and we found we could talk totally uncensored around each other, and be understood. For two people who are loners in this lifetime for good reason, that is a rare and special gift. This kinship culminated in a recurring feeling I haven’t been able to shake – I’ve almost been walking through my days as the eternal being I am, and not as the physical person with the characteristics I adopted in this life. That is, I can FEEL my eternal self better than I can feel the temporary one. He seems to have woken this up in me. The memories are on the edge of my mind, and I can recall fleeting thoughtforms from them, but no real content. The feeling is all still there. We go out of our way for each other like close friends who have known each other a long time. He has said several things that belie the fact that he knows there’s something overarching to our story, too.

That’s how I can now say that I feel like I’m in love with someone who would be utterly inappropriate in this lifetime. I cannot stop the longing. Sometimes I want to cry with a mixture of sadness and joy – sadness that I don’t get much of this kinship in this life, and joy that the awareness of it has been brought to my psyche. Even if we were both available in this life, I am not sure that consummating the relationship would be a good idea. Or perhaps it might, and society’s expectations are clouding my view (I’m not a terribly conventional person; I might go for it anyway and say damn the consequences). The strangest part is that I actually find him wildly UNattractive physically! It’s all these ghosts of memory, messing with my head.

Anyway. This story doesn’t have an ending. It just has a brutal pause, one that will have to commence now. Nothing I can do but long for his companionship, and bring the terribly wonderful knowledge and the energy I gain from it into the rest of my life.

Comment on What the Hell Did John Lennon See in Yoko Ono? by Tim Sun, 11 Sep 2016 14:54:16 +0000 those are excellent points. however, YO is
clearly a bad person, judging from her actions, bad, manipulative, and very ambitious – very dangerous mix. her public persona is a pale reflection of her inner self.
the problem is that people en mass are dumb and proned to worshipping anything they themselves do not have and cannpt have. fame is one of those things. being famous is everything for them. thag is why they have create YO, Kardashians and so many others…