12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies

By: Lianne Downey

Author of: Speed Your Evolution: Become the Star Being You Are Meant to Be

Tempers flared, decibels rose. “You agreed to pay 25% when you moved in!” I insisted. “But you use more electricity during the day than I do!” my roommate shouted back, this sweet-looking, perfectly-put-together woman who never showed this side of herself in public.

We’d been at this angry impasse for days. Finally, a thought came to me and I spat: “You know, if we don’t work this out now, we’ll have to come back as a man and woman, get married, and share a checkbook!”

At that point, the thought of marrying the other person was so abhorrent to us both that it worked like a splash of cold water. It didn’t hurt that we’d met in a past-life therapy class: we knew it could be true! After a stunned moment, we both broke out laughing.

What didn’t occur to me until long after she moved out and I went off to marry a really nice guy was that we’d probably already done the marriage routine, and left an imbalance we had to work out in our present lifetime, fighting over that stupid electric bill. Thankfully, we accomplished it, with laughter to shift the energy of the past and knowledge to pave the way.

If you’ve already read my article on ZazenLifeThe Psychic Anatomy Concept of Life, then you know that nothing is lost in your personal universe. Everything you’ve done, said, thought, or felt remains with you, from life to life, as you experience your sequential incarnations. It’s not all active at the same time, however. Often things come around and go around and come back again according to circumstantial triggers in your life, and a few other cyclic, cosmic factors you’re not privy to. But one thing you can count on:

The important people in your life are very likely to have been people you’ve met before.

How can you tell?

past life regressionFirst, you have to stop and consider it. That’s probably the hardest step. Once you realize this truth about your interactions with others, you’ll see it everywhere: former lovers, friends, enemies, family members. For a time, you might overdo it, imagining past-life connections that didn’t really happen. But some connections—the valid ones—ultimately prove themselves over and over again, if you pay attention.

Here are 12 ways to identify the hints of history that have drawn you back into each other’s orbits, for better or for worse.  But always, with the opportunity to improve your relationship so that the next time you meet, things will be even better (especially in the case of former enemies)! And it’s likely you will meet again if you’ve got work left to do together. The principles of interdimensional science and your own personal design may mandate it. So it’s wise to do your best with each other now.

We’ll start with the easiest ways to recognize an old compatriot, your past life friends, lovers, and enemies:

1. Instant rapport. You start talking and you can’t stop, but nicest of all, the other person gets it, and gets you. You fall into conversation like you’ve picked up a back-and-forth exchange you left off, oh, maybe centuries ago! (And if it’s a balanced give-and-take, with shared goals and mutual respect, count yourselves fortunate and never let go.)

2. Instant dislike. You’ve tried to appreciate this person for their good qualities, but something just bugs you and you can’t shake it. And you might not even be able to define why. You may have no good, solid reason in the present life, other than a deep nagging “instinct.” (Which is another name for memory, in this case.) Check out my article 12 Ways to Distinguish Angelic Influences From The Demons in Your Head for further info.

3. Butterflies. Your stomach won’t settle when you’re around this person. This might even be a love-relationship in the present, but an underlying stress won’t allow you to relax. You’re always on edge, maybe trying too hard to please, maybe unconsciously awaiting some bad turn of events. You might be “happy” in the externals, but those butterflies linger.

4. Longevity. You’ve known this person (or family member) your whole life. In view of this list, take a closer look at them.

5. Shared tastes. Where do your lines of compatibility cross? Do you share a passion for ____? Both love the same foreign language, food, or culture? Enjoy a similar sport, art, hobby, pastime? Have you done this together before?

6. Ease of partnership. Do you work well together, like smoothly oiled gears? Finish each other’s sentences? Accomplish more together than separately? This is a very valuable “polarity,” developed over many lives of practice. Cherish it, no matter how briefly (work partners) or long (friend or family) it may last.

7. Unquenchable anger directed toward you. Nothing ever seems agreeable to you both; you can never make them happy; they seem to you to act as if you owe them something. You fight a lot over these things. You sort things out—and it happens again. It might be that certain specific things act as a trigger. If you can figure out what they are, you might be able to identify the past-life situation, which will help you move on, or resolve it in the present.

past life regression8. Guilt. You’re always tipping the balance toward giving more than you get in return. (Which is certainly a good thing now and then, but every time, with the same individual, signifies something unseen at work.) You feel you owe them, but this is probably not in your conscious awareness. You are always looking out for them, taking the extra step, doing more, overcompensating for something invisible in your present life, but still alive deep in your history. They might be a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, or coworker in the present life. You’ve drawn yourselves back together to work this out. Knowing that should help the balance slowly (or rapidly) shift. It’s entirely up to you. Only you can forgive yourself and until you do, their feelings won’t change your deep guilt.

This, by the way, is a very common bond between people: guilt and resentment. We often say that if you’ve killed someone on a battlefield, you’ve just married them. Nothing is lost or forgotten in the Infinite scheme of energy-life. This doesn’t mean you have to come back and let them kill you! That’s an old misconception about reincarnation which would not rectify anything, only perpetuate the seesaw. You each will find your way to resolve this problem when ready.

9. Fear. Your memory may not be at the conscious level, but you know something. Respect it. Past-life events, if not recognized and resolved, often repeat. Circumstances may vary slightly, but results may be the same. Learn all you can. If your gut tells you to run, do it, even if your fear seems wildly unreasonable in the present lifetime. Yes, fear can be resolved with past-life knowledge, but fear is also a safety mechanism to be deeply respected with regard to other individuals. Take it seriously. But if truly unwarranted in the present life, you’ll at least know where it came from and can take steps to rectify this situation through your studies of past-life therapy. Be cautious and trust your feelings.

10. Inappropriate sexual attraction. We very often trade roles in subsequent lives in order to learn and grow. Someone who was once a lover might now be a family member, or married to another, or of inappropriate age. The variations are endless, the complications serious. The fact that society doesn’t recognize the influence of past lives doesn’t help matters. Knowing the feelings come from other relationships in other lifetimes definitely helps to quell and “put out of phase” these impulses, before you put one another into a situation you’ll regret. Recognition in the conscious awareness, “I knew this person before and we were intimate,” can immediately change the energetic bias or feeling. Even if it’s too late, this knowledge will help you sort out the damage more quickly and get back on the track you intended for your present lifetime. Self-forgiveness, self-understanding, self-awareness—these are keys you’ll want to have.

11. Gender irrelevance. Two souls who’ve loved one another for many lives, in a variety of roles, may meet again during their alternate gender expressions. They will choose what type of expression they share in the present, whether as friends, lovers, family, partners of any kind. Some gay relationships are based on lifetimes of shared experience, and since we all experience both genders over our many lives, gender can seem unimportant. These are very individual decisions, and our reasons vary according to our personal, soulic, evolutionary objectives. My blog post, Are You Gender Neutral?, explores this concept further.

12. Flashbacks. You might suddenly remember your past lives together. Especially if you’re aware and alert to the possibility. Trust your insights.

I could go on all day like this. The ways we replay our past lives with one another are infinite, the clues endless. See if you can add to this list. Right now you might have realized I left off “appropriate sexual attraction.” That might be the product of past-life experience, or it might be new. You’ll have to decide for yourself, but I figured that was one you’d have little trouble exploring on your own.

More importantly, now that you’ve recognized some of your former associates, you’ll be wanting to improve on what you’ve already shared with them, knowing that the energy you’ve passed between you cannot be destroyed, only reshaped by your actions, thoughts, feelings, and words in the present life. That’s what I call “future life therapy,” and it’s the subject of entire books of aid and comfort.

But if you find anyone you know on this list, you’ve made a wonderful first step toward an improved life for both of you—now and in the future! It’s not important to share this information with them. Ultimately, all improvements begin with you. Their energies will fall in line with yours as you change. 🙂

Lianne Downey is the author of two visionary novels, Cosmic Dancer and The Liberator, and her new psychic-development workbook, Speed Your Evolution: Become the Star Being You Are Meant to Be.
Visit her blog at


348 Responses to 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies

  1. Pingback: 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies

  2. Anonymous says:

    I met this guy a few months ago through a mutual connection. I didn’t think much of him at first until he started talking to me and we realized how easy it was for both of us to talk to each other. We ended up sharing a cab home that night and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other despite the fact that we weren’t even on a date. Safe to say that it was a very inappropriate sexual attraction because he confessed much later that he was married with two kids and I was had been seeing someone for a while. I have learned quite a lot about myself in the months that I have known him. It has been a rather turbulent interaction with a few fights, break ups and silences. But through him I learned about my love addiction and how I use it to anaesthetize my pain. I haven’t yet learned how to better deal with pain but I’d say just the awareness that this is a problem I have and it is the reason I make such bad decisions when it comes to relationships is big enough a breakthrough.
    I do not know whether there’s more left for either of us to learn from one another. I am very afraid of being around him because when I am with him all my defenses fall away and I allow him to do things I wouldn’t normally allow anyone else –
    in an unhealthy way. I only realize this much later on. For the time being we’re not speaking and I have ambivalent feelings towards him. But I suppose that’s how life is. Sometimes you’ve got to wait and see how it unfolds.

    • And sometimes you have to take your strength back and make a decision to respect yourself and your personal boundaries and needs! Hello, and thank you for sharing your story. I’ll bet others will relate to it. I like that you’ve recognized something very useful from this experience, a pattern in yourself that you want to change: “…through him I learned about my love addiction and how I use it to anesthetize my pain.”

      I promise you, recognition of the problem is the #1 step to making a progressive change in yourself! Bravo! And you have shown courage in being able to write about this. That means, you DO have the courage to walk away from this troubled relationship, pick up your chin, and say to yourself, “I deserve better.” We will all be rooting for you! You’ve already demonstrated the analytical ability, insight, and courage to achieve this breakthrough! You can do it!
      Love, Lianne
      P.S. You aren’t actually “ambivalent” as you said; you’ve just shown us, by your own words, exactly how you feel. Enjoy your liberation!! 😀

  3. Anonymous says:

    Ok so my story starts about 2.5 yrs ago. I met a man. I thought he was odd at 1st but i was very intrigued by him and had an uncontrollable sense to know about him. Nearly 4 months into knowing him there was a party we both attended. Tht night i walked into the area where he was and immediately our eyes locked and from there its been odd to say the least. Weve quietly been friends throughout this time, not like hanging out per say, mostly talking/texting as s he is married. He and i have never been sexual or anything. There have been times where i could be having an anxiety attack and just being near him like in the same room even completely quiet within a couple minutes im completely soothed or times when we could be standing there looking at each other intently and it feels as though were conversating without ever speaking out loud. Or when im in deep thought of him or speaking of him i always seem to suddenly get a txt reply id been waiting for as a matter of fact hes never answered or contacted me after 9pm period but the other night i was speaking to someone about him and he was heavily on my mind, i was teary eyed and all the sudden at midnight i receive a txt from him. So im sure its apparent by now that im head over heels silly in love with this man. I love him unconditionally theres nothing id not do for him like i would destroy myself to make sure hes protected always and he is aware i let him know almst a yr ago. There have been times where i have what i can only describe as flashbacks but of things that have never happened but oddly in these flashbacks i see him as he is now. I see him laughing like extremely happy. I see him looking at me and even he and i making love. I know he cares for me but he is a very quiet about his feelings and in general. Hes the kindest most softspoken person ive ever met. I believe he loves me and the way i can feel him when hes not around i believe he has that same affliction and neither of us will let go of each other. I really jst think i need confirmation of what im going thru. Ughhh

    • Thanks for sharing your story. Not much to say here beyond things I’ve already written to others. Can you figure out why this man has entered your life, what positive benefit can come of it–since, as you say, he is already married?

      I always believe people come into our lives for a reason, or, if you want to look at it another way, sure, we’ve known them in prior lifetimes, which is why we feel this connection. But why now? And why not available for a conventional relationship? And yet another angle: Even if you can’t answer that question (why now), can you find that positive result from this experience which we must always seek out? Because we are here to learn as souls, to gain new insights and better tools for moving our personal evolution forward, lifetime after lifetime. How can this benefit you in future lifetimes?

      I wish you all the best! Feel free to share any insights you gain! 🙂 Lianne

  4. Neha dolly says:

    I have never experienced this ever before….. Its really very very odd feeling m going through, its been just 15-18 days we have known each other… We jst met on social networking site, i just cudnt resist myself frm sending him reqst.. Which i have never did before in my life… I even dnt reply to fake or unknown messages ever.. But that moment when i saw him i jst felt smthing vry diffrnt inside, my heart jst skipped a beat for once, i sent him a rqst and he accepted. The momnt he accepted my rqst ws the tym i felt lyk m on the top of the world, i ws jsst flying in the air…. N wss jsst waiting for his frst msg,, i typed a msg frst of ^hi, but erased it.. Dn suddenly a messeged popped up.. Hie frm his side, i wsss sooo soo soo happy to see jat hie msg..m it wss not the frst tym dat amone msgged me… Many have triyed upon me. To live me.. N many have proposed me n done a lott for me.. But i nvr had any such kindd of feeling for anybdy ever b4.dn aftr dat hie we had a vry formal talk…… We talked for about half an hr. N i was like i m talking aftr a vry long tym with him.. N i have loosed him smwhere n hot him aftr a vry long tym, he tolf me everything about his lyf…. That ws the moment when he told me that he is married.. M i wss like full of tears n started crying lyk a baby.. N felt that y did he marrid, coudnt he jast wait for me a while, i felt a vry big connection wd him… It ws like smthing got torn inside my heart. Without hiding anythung i wss like jsst tell him everything wgt wss going inside me.. I told me.. Shittt y r u married n ol.. The feeljngs i ws going through, i told him each evry bit, n the best part ws that he understood me n holded me with his talks… The nice thing ws that he wss too n vry mch comfrtable with me, he was sharing a vry god tym with me as i was expecting…….
    I told him 1000 tyms that i feel smthing vry diffrnt with.. He told me that he dont knw but he ws vry cmfrtable with him n felt lyk sharing a part of his life with me inspite he ws married n happy too in his life,..
    We met vry soon within5-6 days n i wss like ohhvmy godness i wss going to meat smthing i have lost vry b4,.n got it back aftr soo long…n the most touching part ws that the day he told me that he ws married. , my whole day, Ws vry quite, n it ws evn vry difficult for m to eat that day… .. ,
    I jss feel lyk crying whn ever i evn think of loosing him for once,.. Te frst day we met wss soo awsm for both of us… .. I wasss not evn afraid to meat him like we were gonna meat within 5-6 days….
    We met n shared a lott witheach other, he too feel vry sad whn he thinks that he ia married, scnd day we met he wss bzy shecdule but came to meat me up n dropped me to my hostel, i cried that day n hugged him tightly lyk i ddnt want hkm to go anywhere… How is this possiblweki within auch period of tym such strong feelings develop for a prsn whom we evn dont knw.. Emotional attachment, fear of loosing him n he loosing me,..
    We evn made promises that till death we will b frnds in dis life,, n will meat in nxt lyf.
    I tell.him continuously the each day that i i have losr u in my past lyk n it ws a curse on us that we will not ne one ever.
    I jst cant live wdout him.. I knw that he is married n have a didfnt lifestyle, but the same he feels for me.. The best part is this ki we both love each other vry badly..m but we cant do anything now… I dmt wana spoil his family n wants that him to be happy with his family but nver leave me alone ever……
    I jast wanted to knw what wss that connection we had. .. That we both feeel so much bout eachother but cant do anything..

    If ws unmarried i would have told about him at my home frm the day one… He also feela the same lyk we should go to a place where no one resides n only we he respects me a lottt n i tooo… Plzz guide me smthing or tell me wqhat kind of relation n waht is dis is not attraction nor love but only sm di₹rnt thing…… If dznt call me once or i dont see him once a day i start crying lyk i m loosing him once again… I coudnt sleep for nyts wdout seeing him…

    • Dear Neha,
      Honestly? I don’t know what to say to you. Crying over a married man you have known for only two weeks? If any of you readers are able to decipher her language here (very hard to do), then I think you will be able to answer her, if you’ve been reading this article or these comments. What else would explain this kind of extreme emotionalism than something that has been brewing for lifetimes? Now, that doesn’t mean it’s a thing that must be pursued and re-created in the present lifetime. Clearly, that is not possible for these two, as the man has somewhat committed himself elsewhere–although I question that, because what is he doing on a dating site if he is committed to his family?

      Nevertheless, Neha’s emotions are echoes. They are magnified. They feel crazy to her, and this is, in fact, the root of many “crazy” behaviors on our planet–the magnification of past-life, subconscious remnants of experience and emotion, which, when they are not identified as that, can surface in the present life, mind, and circumstances and baffle everyone, including the participants. If you can see that, Neha, then I hope it will bring you some relief from this impossible-to-pursue situation, to know that you are only attempting to recreate what cannot be reinstated in your present lifetime.

      There is a hope for you, however. The wave of emotion that you are feeling right now will pass when the cycle of energy retreats, and it will do that. Past-life relivings such as this come to us in cycles. They rise and fall like waves. When the cycle moves out, disintegrates back into the past where it belongs, it will leave you on a bare shoreline and you will wonder why you ever felt all those strong emotions. Until that happens, try to hold yourself steady while the wave thrashes around you, and do not do anything any more foolish than you have already done! Know that this is but a memory, and the memory will fade. Hopefully, you will not be standing in harm’s way and not much damage will be done by the time that happens.

      As for what happened in the past life? You have all the emotional responses to tell you exactly what that was: “If he doesn’t call me… or I don’t see him … I start crying …” And that is what happened in the past–exactly as you feel it now. Who you were, who he was, why you feel grief—that really doesn’t matter now, does it? What matters NOW is what you live out in your present lifetime, each of you. Be wise. Be kind.
      And best wishes to you!

  5. anon says:

    I met a guy about 6 months ago who is 11 years younger than me (very early 20’s). We met through a mutual hobby. Knowing that he was much younger than me (and very immature) I didn’t initially, on our first meeting, pay much attention to him but during the first month of knowing him a chemistry was present between the two of us that I have never experienced before and I simply can’t explain. I think initially our connection felt very sibling like – I felt I could be completely myself around him, we joked, couldn’t stop talking etc but the connection has since developed into this chemistry that feels electric, particularly in a sexual way! Within the first week of knowing him he told me that he had a dream in which I was badly hurt and he woke up crying. This freaked me out that someone I had only just met had dreamt such a thing. There was also a period of time when we first met where we thought we might not see each other again. He told me that he felt sick with sadness that he might not get to see me again.

    I’m also confused because as the months have developed it is very clear that he has little respect for me the way he talks to me (especially in front of other people) and treats me (when I am around him he will physically assert his authority, although playfully, such as pushing me, holding my wrists). However, when I am around him I feel that everything is OK with the world, I feel content, I feel safe, time passes so quickly and I feel this incredible sense of inner peace almost like ‘I’m home’. I know I mentioned that he is immature but I get this eerie sense when I’m around him that he is an older soul trapped in a young persons body!!!

    I also have an overwhelming feeling of needing to help and care for him and he often asks me for his help and tells me that he ‘needs me’ when he clearly doesn’t or could easily ask someone else. I’ve spoken with a few friends about the situation – being that he is much younger than me I feel a sense of guilt that I have feelings for him so don’t share too much – and they tell me to cut him off and stop having contact with him. The thought of not having anything to do with him even after knowing him for so little time physically hurts. I will sit sobbing for hours at the thought of not having some sort of contact with him. Due to our circumstances, we will never be in a relationship romantically but I am just so confused as to why he is in my life and why there is this undeniable chemistry between us. I keep reading that past life acquaintances come back to teach us a lesson but if that is what he is I’m finding it really difficult to decipher what lesson he is trying to teach me. I saw a psychic just over a year ago and she said that she could see me holding hands with a younger man- is that all that this is or is there more to it? Any insight would be gratefully appreciated as I feel like I’m losing my mind over this!!

    • Dear Anon(ymous):

      What you have here are two people who have known one another in a different set of circumstances in a previous lifetime, or possibly lifetimes. There’s an old saying about, “We’d rather sleep with the snake in our bed than change” — because the snake is familiar to us. This came from the spiritual teacher, Ernest L. Norman, who first taught me the science of reincarnation, and it is so true of us! We are drawn to the familiar and fear to let it go, even after it is hurting us.

      This boy is not the older soul–you both are! But your relationship doesn’t give promise of happiness, does it? Didn’t you just describe some warning signs that indicate the darkness under the surface of what feels familiar and comfortable? You’ve indicated undercurrents of dependency–which might grow worse if you got more involved, and which bear echoes of a lifetime where that is exactly what happened. Without awareness, you might repeat the same difficulties. But now (good for you!) you are looking deeper, and considering the reality of a previous life together.

      Your life is your choice, always, but I want you to take the past-life elements surfacing in your interactions VERY SERIOUSLY. What feels like a happy magnet is often the pull of the past. Once you’re engrossed in a replay of the past, fully committed and entangled, the difficulties will present themselves. Then comes the challenge. Do you both have the spiritual strength and mental power to OVERCOME, individually, and change yourself–each of you within– so that you do not repeat the old arguments, conflicts, and/or violence? If one of you does not step up and respond differently in the present lifetime, which usually means finding the humility to change and let go of the old snake in the bed, then you could be doomed to repeat the old traumas. I think, forgive me, that the analogy is a good one in this situation, and you know what I mean.

      In my previous answer to a question (and in lots of my replies I think), I have outlined some questions to ask yourself and some steps to take to find freedom. I suspect you would not have written to ask if you didn’t already know, within yourself, that this is a path you are reluctant to pursue, the relationship with this man. Age really has nothing to do with it! It’s more about the dynamic between you, the past being replayed, and your mutual ability to surmount the old script and make a new, happier ending. This is my gut feeling about what you’ve described, for whatever that is worth. Realize that sometimes that “comfortable” feeling of being “home” is just nostalgia for an old memory–but we can never go back and relive an old life to find happiness. We feel inner joy when we progress, when we achieve, when we change, and when we grow. New energy fills our spirits. What once made us happy? Will never repeat in identical fashion because that’s how energy is–progressive, ever changing. Match that kind of eternal progression in your own life and you will experience joy.

      Now, these are just my opinions. Take them as you will. And my very best wishes to you! I know what you’re feeling; I’ve been there. And it’s why we have these life challenges and moments of feeling as if we will lose our minds. You are in the process of learning.

      Love love love to you! And thank you so much for sharing your story. Believe it or not, it will help many others who read it and don’t have the courage to share!
      P.S. You know that my own dear husband is 15 years younger than me? And that we just celebrated 24 happy years as a married couple? Like I said, age is not the question. We first spent 4 years making sure this was the right choice, overcoming the inner conflict about our disparate ages. When this life ends, I’ll tell you if it was the right choice or not. So far, totally the best choice I ever made, and I believe he feels the same. So don’t let the age issue cloud the picture for you. Look beneath the surface to the elements that really matter.

  6. krainium says:

    I’m really glad I stumbled on this article and got a chance to read other’s comments because it confirms I’m not the only one who has that inclination of having been here before or a connection to someone you’ve never met. My husband and I have been together for 26 years. From the day I met him there was something about him that made me apprehensive I actually didn’t like him but he pursued me to no end and we eventually married. It’s hard to describe our bond. We are total opposites in everything, we rarely agree on anything but there’s an unmistakable pull between us. We are miserable with each other and more miserable away from each other! The only way I can explain it is that I feel like he has been in pursuit of me forever as in before i knew him. I always shrugged it off as me being a sort of ‘dreamer’ or having seen too many cheezy sci-fi movies in my lifetime. I will never forget during an argument (maybe 10 to 15 years ago) we weren’t speaking, were apart for a few weeks and eventually got back together and he said ” I have always loved you and will always love you and I hope that we are together in the next life” That statement didn’t seem romantic to me but eerie because of my inclination that I’ve known him before. My first thought when he said that statement was : “He will always look for me and will always find me” and I didn’t feel happy about it – in the pit of stomach I had this sinking feeling -hard to explain but I knew I had been with him before and he had found me.
    At the same time, I can feel things about him- read his energy, know he’s doing something like I can predict his actions- as if it’s a movie I’m recalling. Oftentimes i chalk it up to having been with someone for 26 years- you know them very well but it’s not that kind of knowing, it’s more like having a vision of it taking place before and I know exactly what is about to happen and vice versa. He has said to me he had a dream about me and it’s odd because his dream will be exactly of a conversation I had or a place I’ve been. I wonder why or what lesson is in our constant togetherness over the span of lifetimes or if we are simply kindred souls.

    • Hello, Krainium! You have accurately described what it feels like to be caught in a past-life bind, or rather, a present-life bind that was forged in previous lifetimes. Now, the question is, can you find a way off this treadmill?

      You might be surprised to know that learning about the past-life circumstances can actually create a seemingly instantaneous change in your present life, such that even your husband will feel and act differently, even if he never knows what you do about your shared past. So now you are wondering, how can you know what has taken place between you before? Well, you’ve already described it, only you need to put yourselves in different bodies in your imagination, or different clothing, scenery, etc. perhaps even different genders. The actions and feelings will be pretty much a duplicate of what you feel and do now. EXCEPT — you’ve made an important difference, and the first step to freedom: You have stepped off the treadmill and looked back and said to yourself, “What am I doing here? How did I get here? Do I have to continue?”

      With that first “objectification,” you’ve already set change in motion. You’ve broken the spell of repetition. Now the next step is also up to you. Do you want to continue as you are, or do you want to experience a different kind of life?

      If the latter: First, your belief in the truth of this continuity from previous lives is essential. Trust your knowing on that. You are correct.

      Secondly, you don’t need details. You don’t even need a psychic to tell you. You already know, in your heart of hearts, that you’ve said and done these things before.

      Third, see if you can identify what it was that (a) first drew you to this man, and (b) what still holds you, emotionally. By then, you might have clues to when and where and why, but even if you don’t, you should be able to take the next steps to mental freedom.

      Those next steps will be up to you. Many insights should be pouring into you right about now. You’ve opened the ceiling to let the Light in. Listen, accept, act according to your soulic aspirations and your intended life purpose for the present lifetime. I cannot tell you what that might be. I can only tell you that this is the kind of inner liberation we all seek! And these repetitious life experiences are what hold us all in check, until we unravel them, make our choices, and act accordingly. This doesn’t necessarily mean divorce; it means breaking the psychic cycle of mindless repetition of old habits. You will both be liberated by this. If you are able to continue together and still pursue your personal, spiritual objectives, then that’s just fine. But sometimes the only thing holding two people together is some past-life memory of a debt owed, which cannot be repaid in the present.

      It’s hard here, to explain in more detail. If you get stuck, my book, Speed Your Evolution, offers countless ways to recognize, understand, and liberate yourself from past-life repetitions. It’s available around the world, in print and e-book formats, and it’s designed for people like you who are ready and able to take another leap in their personal evolution.

      Lots of people would be content with where you are — but you’ve stepped out and questioned it! Bravo! You’ve got the skills you need to move your life, and future lifetimes, ahead. And no, he does not sound like a “kindred soul,” only someone you’ve incurred this kind of stuck-together karma with on the repeating wheel we circle around until we learn how to keep moving forward. Once you recognize the lesson you’re learning from it, you’ll be quickly on your way to the next challenge. 🙂
      Lots of love,

  7. Chhaya jain says:

    Hello Lianne

    Very beautiful and informative article. Thanks so much. I could relate this to me very much and feel more relaxed
    I met this guy last year in Australia during our professional workshop. I started getting attracted toward him durin this time. We beary spent time together deing these 6 days workshop. But I really liked him very much.
    Once i am back I started missing him very much. I didn’t understand why Inhad had so strong feelings for a person whom I have met for a week.
    I am mareied and so is he and this was another thing making me feel guilty. It’s been almosta year but my feelings have gone stronger day by day.

    I broke my silence and shared my feelings to him. However he replied he do not feel the same and advised me to move on. But I am unable to remove him from my mind and the feelings are still going on strongly.

    Could this be a past life connection? If yes would the other person too feel the same?

    thanks chhaya

    • Hello Chhaya! Even more than a past life connection, these feelings you are experiencing indicate that you are not very happy in your ordinary life situation. Otherwise you would not be dreaming about another man, one who is more fantasy than real at this point. Because how well can you know someone you met so briefly? And one who does not feel the same way you do, especially?

      If you want to look for past-life connections, look into your present daily life. What is making you feel unfulfilled? What can you do to improve that? Are you caught by a different sort of past-life binding, the kind that made you fall into something you do not truly love and enjoy today? That is the tie, to the past, that you must break–and I don’t mean necessarily to break your marriage!

      See where you can bring more happiness into your day to day life. For some people, who feel they cannot change their marital situation or their commitments to others for various reasons, this could mean bringing something new into your life, some kind of creative expression, for instance. Music? Art? Teaching others? Making things? Sewing? Cooking on a grand scale? Hosting parties? Find a way that you can contribute to the lives of others, a way that suits your own personality, and you will very quickly forget about this man who is only, in some way, hinting at what you are missing in your life. It is your soul and spirit that long for change.

      I hope you can understand what I am trying to say here. It’s not the man you met. It is what he represented to you that is fueling your thoughts. What was it about him that you liked? Is that a quality that you could enhance in your own self? What is it that you are truly longing for, because you do not really know this man so it must be some illusion he represented that you unconsciously wish for. We often admire what we would like to be, which we see in another. This is what my best advisors are telling me right now about your particular situation.

      I wish you all the best! You do have the power to make your life happy, every day, every moment. See if you can find the key! And please come back and tell us what it was, when you find it. 🙂 Love to you– Lianne

      • Chhaya jain says:

        Hey Lianne. Thank you so much for your advice.
        I will work on this and surely come back with my findings.


  8. Samantha says:

    Hello Lianne,
    I am going through a rather odd situation and was searching the internet for some type of answer as to what is occurring when I stumbled upon your page. Nothing comes close to an explanation but possibly you may have heard of this before or can point me in the right direction… I hope!

    Anyway… it all started two months ago in Las Vegas at a wrestling event when I met a wrestler at a show we were both working. He is a Native American and has the whole gimmick and I walk out a friend of mine who also wrestles. Usually I keep my head down backstage to not draw attention to myself as females get a reputation quickly in the business but I couldn’t stop looking at this one and yet he didn’t necessarily stand out. He came to talk to me and was apparently out of the ordinarily shy. We shared information and began texting but being playfully “mean” to eachother and picking on one another. He however started getting annoying within the first day or so and I had wanted to stop talking to him so I planned on just discontinuing replying. Here is the weird part I’m confused about… whenever I wanted to stop talking I would get severe body aches and pains. Mostly across my chest from shoulder to shoulder. It was as if something didn’t want me to stop talking to him. Due to this I continued and we began getting along better. 2 months went by and throughout that time he had asked me to start dating him which I said no because it was long distance, he said he had faith it would work out because it felt easy like he had done this before. Yet to me my attachment with the distance was more painful and I attempted to break it off multiple times and yet any time I even THOUGHT about stopping talking the pain started, and at one point I began a “dear john” text and scratches formed on my arms (Not from myself, my arms were outstretched texting and I have photos) so I stopped. We are still talking now and I have no idea what any of this means. I asked people who claim it’s anxiety from ending it with someone I have a crush on but this started before I had feelings and I honestly couldn’t stand the guy. Do you happen to have any idea what this might mean? Is he a past love? A soul mate my body is pushing for? Or do u happen to know somebody who might have an idea? When I Google answers they tell me “common cold” and “butterflies in stomach “. I appreciate any guidance I can get!

    Thank you and my apologies for being long-[winded]!


    • Hello, Samantha! Thank you for sharing your story and asking for input. Yours is one of those trickier situations, as you can already tell.

      Remember first of all that we change genders in various lifetimes, so your history with this individual (yes, it seems you do have one) could have been in any sort of relationship: male/male, male/female, female/male, female/female. From the pains and scratches you describe, I’m going to say that you have had some violent encounters previously, and your involvement (and his) in the wrestling business in the present lifetime does echo that kind of scene, doesn’t it? Even if it’s “fake” now, it probably wasn’t fake in the past. It is not uncommon to re-experience old injuries, wounds, and even death-blows as we “attune” to a particular past-life situation in our present lives, usually triggered by something we’ve done or seen (even movies), or someone we’ve met, or a place we have traveled. In a way, even before you met, you had already put yourself into a situation that triggers past-life, subconscious memories of active fighting. As if you were still in the old arenas, the real ones, where it truly was life and death.

      I think you can probably put the rest together for yourself from there.

      In your comment, I see that you are of two minds: drawn to him by the past, repelled in the present. Am I correct? Often people mistake this kind of push-pull as a mandate that they “must be together.” It can even feel like an attraction or even “love.” It is not necessary to get re-involved, and sometimes it is not wise. See if knowing about the past-life connection can help you disentangle your emotions and make clear decisions about what to do regarding this man. We are not always drawn back together by plan; often, we are drawn back together by karma, that immutable force of mutual connection that will bring us face to face with old enemies, inevitably, in some time and place. How will we behave then? That is all up to you. Will you two regenerate an old fight–say after some time of dating when things suddenly turn sour? Or will you resolve into a more peaceful resolution, having become different people in the present lifetime? Do you even need to go that far? These are all decisions you must make. But I hope I have given you a little more information to go on by confirming that, yes, you have met before, and no, it might not have been a positive, romantic, lovely encounter.

      The pains you feel when you try to break it off; they are most likely simply the alignment or attunement to the past that rings in harmony with you and your body (from your energy body, actually) when you “dial in” your thoughts to him. This is not any force trying to stop you or to encourage you; it is simply the science of resonance or harmonics, bringing your energy body’s “memory” of old injuries back online.

      Please let us know if you relate to any of this, and if I can answer any further questions. I wish you all the best in your future choices! You are now wiser than most, and fortunate to be so. Love to you, no matter how you choose to deal with this “old friend”! 🙂 Lianne

  9. Alana says:

    Hey Lianne! I don’t know if you remember me from before when I commented (I doubt you do with all the people who comment here). I wanted to update you on my connection with my my moms bfs son. I still love him and my flashbacks happen all the time when I’m around him. Especially when he’s around my 3 year old cousin. He’s so good with him (almost too good with him) and he’ll always say strange things (like he’ll call him his son) and anytime I see them together it almost seems familiar to me. I also feel like I need to take care of him all the time and nurture him. Almost like a wife or something (I don’t know if you remember but I’m 17 so it’s not really in my character to nurture a guy the way I feel I have to with him. I feel extremely comfortable when I’m around him in a way I (for some reason) can’t feel for someone else. There have been times when we’ve just stared at each other for long periods of time next to each other not saying a word. He also always tries to be close to me and often sit next to me places (even tho he’s closer with my brother than me). I also tend to notice he’ll hint at things and I’ll think of things and it’s almost like he reads my mind( don’t wanna sound crazy lol). I have vivid flashbacks and what seems like memories of us as what I would guess to be as a married couple with kids and everything. I’ve always had very vivid deja vou moments but when I met him and looked into his eyes, I saw someone I’ve known and loved before. I’m thinking of seeing a psychic and am wondering if it would be a good idea and if so which one is a good one ( one that will tell me as close to the truth as possible and won’t just steal my money (I live in NY). All this is just really on my head and I just wanna shake him off but I just can’t seem too. If you have any good advice ( I’m sure you do), I’d love to hear it ( once again lol)

    • Hello again, Alana! Thank you for the update. Yes, I remember you, although I don’t know where that original exchange is buried in this long list of comments. 🙂 That’s one reason I hope to put them all in a handy book one day (stay tuned for info about that, readers, if and when it happens). You have given us a perfect description of the subtle ways such a past-life connection can manifest in the present lifetime. Over the years, I’ve grown accustomed to observing these kinds of events carefully in my own life, so to me it is not so subtle, but I realize it will be new to many people to consider that YES, you HAVE known one another before!

      I’m happy for you that your realization of this now is so clear and vivid. It will change your life going forward, Alana. Be prepared that you will never view your relationships with other people in the same way again. And, that you will probably find yourself coaching your friends in the future when they come to you with horror stories of confusion about this or that relationship! lol I do hope you will share your knowledge wisely and carefully.

      Now, about going to psychics. You are correct that there are pitfalls. Truly? The very best information you’ve got is what’s coming into your own mind. But sometimes, we like to have validation. Test everything you hear from a psychic against what your own mind and heart are telling you. In my book Speed Your Evolution, I devote some time to this subject of validating past-life information that comes from sources outside yourself (Chapter 18: Psychic Readings Good and Bad). The most important test you need to apply is: Does it help me in my present lifetime? If it doesn’t, it might be either erroneous, or designed to flatter your ego and foster a dependence on the psychic reader.

      Most everyone who does this work is a good person! However, they sometimes get themselves entangled with an entity on the other side who is bent on doing mischief. I can think of famous psychics who did and do marvelous and wondrous readings that help, not only individuals, but others among the public who are exposed to their stories and inspired by them. You know the ones I mean! They help the world to understand the continuity of life.

      And then there are a few who begin as psychics and then start cults, compile riches, and keep people dependent on them because, in fact, they are dependent on repeat customers. Avoid them like the plague they are.

      You have good sense and a keen mind, Alana. I trust you will be wise in your choices, and in your evaluation of the information you receive. As for “shaking him off,” good luck! Remember: You don’t need to continue events from the past. In fact, that’s impossible. If you tried, you would be recreating an entirely new set of life experiences. But knowing about the past should help you discern the difference between past and present life feelings and then choose wisely. If you had a good relationship/marriage in the past, then take all the positive elements of the relationship you’ve developed and use them as you go forward. I don’t mean you have to marry him! I mean the gold nuggets of wisdom at the heart of your previous encounters. For better and for worse, we learn from everything we experience and that knowledge stays with us, in our extended biofields that travel with us from life to life. Nothing is ever lost. I suspect this boy is there to teach you, if nothing else, about the continuity of your consciousness, your life, and the importance of what you do from moment to moment. 🙂

      Thanks again for stopping in with an update! Love love love to you!

      • Alana says:

        Thanks so much Lianne! It’s great to see things in a different perspective! I definitely will share my knowledge with others seeking it! It’s great to have an explanation to things in life that seem so unanswerable. I definitely know there are good and bad psychics…..Some that aren’t even psychics, I know basically from the type of readings they give. For instance if they give you one word and then ask for $50 more dollars for the next one lol. I would like to find one who has something good to say and doesn’t charge much for that one time…lol. All this stuff is very interesting! ! I’m going to assume what I have is a gift that can help me in the future. Thank you again for the advice Lianne! Love to you too!

        • Not a gift, dear, but a skill that you have developed over the course of many lifetimes. A lot of people have this skill–we all have the potential–but it’s a matter of developing and using it. And learning all you can about how, why, etc. 😀 Enjoy!

  10. Laurie says:

    Recently an odd thing happened and I can’t stop thinking about it. Six months ago a person I haven’t seen in over twenty years suddenly came to my thoughts. I felt sick with a feeling of loss and my thoughts went on to how much I miss him terribly. Ever since I can’t stop thinking of him.

    So this is our history together. We met as children in the second grade. I didn’t like him much because he bullied my male best friend terribly. I often found myself defending my friend physically because he would tease, push and hit him.

    In the fourth grade my teacher sat this mean kid next to me. Even though we sat next to each other, I didn’t engage with him, and I avoided him as much as possible. One day my teacher, who was not so fond of kids, (the irony) said something to me which really upset me. I sat there trying to hold in the tears, knowing he was sitting next to me. If he saw me cry he would never let me forget. As the tears came on I could feel him staring at me. I slowly looked his way and prayed he didn’t see. No such luck. When I turned to look at him I saw his big beautiful blue eyes for the first time, and they looked so incredibly sad. For a moment I sat dazed looking at his eyes. I felt as if I could see into his soul. Then reality hit and I thought I needed to come up with a plan for attack because he was going to have a field day with this. Instead the most incredible thing happened. He was so very empathetic and reminded me how our teacher didn’t like anyone. As he put it ….she was just mean.

    From then on we became really good friends. This was not the same kid I knew for two years prior. He was sweet, funny and I looked forward to sitting with him everyday. It was amazing. He no longer hid behind bushes on the way to school and backed off bullying my friend. Then one day my teacher caught us laughing. So she moved him. As he was leaving to go to his new desk he told me not to worry, we would still be friends. I remember this day so clearly. I had a horrible pit in my stomach and I felt like I lost him. I can’t explain why I felt this way. I sat next friends in school before and never felt this way when they changed seats.

    We never had the same friendship again after that. In 5th grade there was a lot of small talk between us. On occasion we would find ourselves looking at each other from across the room. I didn’t see much of him in middle school. At the end of high school we both frequented the same bar every weekend. We always said hi and we would occasionally catch each-other glancing from across the room. I always felt comforted knowing he was there and I found myself checking often to make sure he was there. Even though I felt a strong connection and a magnetism towards him we both were fine with seeing each-other from afar. I can’t explain why except it was very scary to feel this way for someone I had a brief friendship with in the fourth grade . I can’t explain it but I feel he felt this way too. The last time I saw him we were in our early twenties. He asked me to stay and hang out at his house. I told him I couldn’t and I practically ran out of there.

    Last year he mentioned on facebook to get in touch with him when I go back to the old neighborhood. I told him I would of course. More than ever I feel like there is stronger influence on us. I feel like I can’t fight it any longer but also I feel very conflicted. About 7 years ago he apologized to my best friend for bullying him. How can I tell my friend how I feel about the guy who made his life miserable for so many years? How do I explain to him I feel an unconditional love for this guy?

    • Hello, Laurie! Thank you for sharing this fascinating story. I’m going to assume that you were wondering if this boy/man was a past-life friend, since you’ve stumbled into my article on the subject. But of course, you already know that answer. You know, not everyone we’ve known before has to become a lover or best pal for life, thank goodness!

      The part of your story I love the best is when you finally saw the soul within, through his “big beautiful blue eyes” that looked “so incredibly sad.” You were looking directly into the history that no doubt caused him to become a childhood bully, and there, you found a compatible spirit who understood your momentary suffering all too well. She was “just mean,” that teacher. He understood mean adults and how they could hurt you. As an adult yourself now, does that tell you something about this boy’s present life? What you shared was a beautiful moment of connection, understanding, and comfort. I just love it! And in fourth grade, no less!

      Now what about today? Why, twenty years later, are you saying you can’t stop thinking about this soul who understood you in a moment of crisis? Your connection with him was powerful, for that moment, but clearly not one that either of you had set up to become something more lasting in the present life, at least not so far. In other words, you never dated. Right? It’s not out of the question now (I’ve known such stories to unfold for others). But you’ve said nothing about your current life partner–whether you have one or not; whether you’re happy or not. I’m just going to guess that something in your present life is making you feel deeply dissatisfied. It might be a job, or situation, or relationship, or endeavor you haven’t yet accomplished. It might be that you’re not getting the kind of understanding and connection and empathy that you felt in fourth grade from this individual. Whatever happens next, please examine your present life and see if you can detect this kind of need or longing before you enter into a new relationship with this old friend.

      “Unconditional love” is a powerful thing. It should overrule any obligation you feel to your other friend, the one who was bullied, especially since the grown-up bully realized his error and apologized. I’m missing something in your telling of the tale here. Why do you feel conflicted, especially when you’re not sure what the future holds if you haven’t gotten in touch again with your fourth-grade pal? You’ve left something out of this story. Something important, I suspect. Why do you need to explain your life choices to anyone other than your own self? What hold does this other friend have over you? And here, we have the makings of a past-life triangulated situation which might have nothing to do with lovers at all.

      Please ask yourself some questions, find some deep honest answers. Or come back and tell us more. Look at this through the past-life lens: how do these two men connect with you? Why do you contemplate that it’s a “trio” kind of circumstance? Two people in love should not have to consult a third person. If they feel they must, then something is echoing from the past, confusing the picture. Unless you have a romantic relationship with this other friend. That’s an entirely different story!

      • Laurie says:

        Lianne, thank you! Your response really put things in perspective for me. I took your advice and stepped back to look at it differently.
        I believe I lost my fourth grade friend suddenly/tragically in a past life. This explains why I can’t shake the feeling of complete loss, almost like a death. In this life I feel like I worry about him and I so desperately want to grab on and hold him. Not in a sexual way but to protect him. Now I understand why I feel so conflicted. I often protected my best friend, from this bully no less. It felt like a betrayal. In fact I have felt this way for a long time but I’ve long forgotten.
        The love I have for my old best friend is built on years of friendship (strictly friendship) and trust. This “weird” unconditional love I feel for my fourth grade friend was based on being desk buddies and having a “moment,” at least in this life It felt wrong and irrational.
        I haven’t been back to my hometown in years and I’m planning to see my old best friend. I think it’s brought up old memories I’ve put in the back of my mind. This also explains why recently couldn’t get my fourth grade friend out of my head. It sounds crazy but I felt like I was mourning. When I was younger as a mechanism to protect myself I often blocked away many things so it makes sense it is coming forward now as I approach going back to my hometown.
        Now that my fourth grade friend has apologized I know there should no longer be any guilt. Now it’s time move on to enjoy the all the blessings in this life!!!

        • Hi Laurie — Thank you for the further clarification. Here’s a new idea to consider: Past lives come back around into present-life awareness in cycles, meaning we don’t have all of it manifesting in our lives at the same time. With thousands of lifetimes behind us, that would be sooo overwhelming! Usually events, circumstances, thoughts, and emotions from a particular past-life incident will suddenly appear and draw our attention (if you’re paying that kind of attention). Things come around and go around. We say they come “in phase” and go “out of phase.” It sounds as if this particular boy/man and your past AND present life experiences with him have come “in phase,” because of an action you are taking (which often triggers these cycles, something we’ve encountered or done in our present life), i.e., going back to the scene of the connection.

          I’m not saying all past-life re-attunements happen for this reason, but sometimes the age at which they occur is significant. You’ve taken a further step in identifying the nature of your reliving/emotion. That is, a sense of grief and loss and probably separation. Now you can consider your present age as well. Were you separated at a young age? Or is the grief stronger now than when you were kids? Were you separated as adults, perhaps? A death or other form of separation (and we have a million ways to be torn apart from one another).

          Not that you NEED to know more details. From here, you’ve already got a pretty good idea about what’s strengthening your emotions in his regard. Now you can make better present-life choices by sorting out your feelings, I hope. Much love to you both! I think my readers and I will be curious to know what happens next in this lifetimes-long drama. 🙂

  11. Mesrabell says:

    I was at my friends house and her baby sister who is only three walks in the room I did not see her really at first after a little bit we go shopping and autumn has to come with is I have to sit besides autumn I look at autumn and she has blond hair and face as white as paper and we start driving and she looks up at me and her eyes are a grayish blue I feel an instant shock go threw my stomach and into my hands I look closer into her eyes and they look familiar …… I know it sounds weird but when I imagen autumn being in my past life I think of her as a daughter
    As soon as I think of her as that the first time an instant I feel a sharp pain and shock like I just figured out something I wasent sapposed to know

    • Dear Mesrabell, this simply makes me smile. How beautiful!

      Who says you aren’t supposed to know? The fact is, you recognized her. No one can take that back now! As long as you manage to keep things in a calm, present-life perspective, so that nothing gets too complicated or out-of-place, then you can know this is someone whom you value, and offer whatever assistance or support you can, if you should ever be needed by her.

      Children coming into our present societies have so many challenges to surmount! I think it’s important to recognize and use all the supportive, lifetimes-long friends and relatives we can find. Fortunate you are, both of you, to make this discovery.

      Would you agree with me that this experience has given you an undeniable sense that reincarnation is not a theory, but a reality? I believe this is the only way people can ever be convinced of it. By personal experiences such as yours.

      What do the rest of you think? Do you agree? I think we could present “proof” after proof after proof, and no one will believe in the reality of living lifetime after lifetime until they have some incident like this that zings right into their gut and convinces them. 🙂

      Love to you and the little one, Mesrabell! I hope you will become better friends now.

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  17. Sophia Mann says:

    Hello, I was living with my soulmate for 20 years when I made the worst mistake of my life and left him to be with another guy. I was going through a huge depression at the time due to issues in my family.

    I had brought my brother into my life when he was taking drugs. I thought if he knew I loved him he could get better. Instead he stole money and wrecked a car I gave him. I started taking perscription meds for anxiety .

    Also, I really needed someone to talk to and my soulmate told me he could not handle it as I was too emotional. I went online to a chat room and found a guy willing to listen. Of course this is were I made the worst choice of my life.

    I felt drawn to this new person but looking back now I see this person was causing me a lot of unease. I thought at the time he was sent to help me and to also allow me to fufill my dream of my own family. I had wanted a child for years but my partner did not.

    I think the medication I was on made me lose that part of me that was connected to my soulmate. I also think my brother had such dark energy connected to him when he was in my house. This energy somehow impacted me.

    Even though we had issues such as my soulmate not wanting children we had always gotten along so easy. WE never fought . I knew on the first date he was the one.

    I made a terrible choice to meet the new guy. This was the end of my life as I had known it for 20 years. I was just over 40 and lost the soulmate person who I had so easily lived with and laughed with due to a terrible decision.

    I look back now and see signs but I went blindly down the hole. I thought this was a gift and meant to be. I was suppose to be with the new person as together we would create a family that had been waiting.

    I ended up married to the new guy. I did not want children out of wedlock call me old fashion. I soon found out this was all wrong. Who is the opposite of your soulmate? That is what he is. He does not make me laugh but cry. He does not lift me up but push me down. He did not want children either . When I thought I might be pregnant he told me if I was I would have to have an abortion. He did not want kids.

    I saw then what I had done. I had lost my soulmate and was now with this person. I saw that he was not even my friend. My soulmate had been my bestfriend someone I fully trusted. I do not feel that way about this person. Now, due to many issues I am trapped in this marriage.

    I am curious is there a name for the opposite of soul mate?
    I feel this person has done this to me before. I guess I am not very good at hearing things and must go through this again to learn.

    • Dear Sophia — Do not be too hard on yourself! You underwent a series of events that affected you, your personality, and your decision-making abilities. Please start from right now and begin with #1: Be your own “soul mate.”

      If you’ve read much of the comment thread here, you might realize that I do not subscribe to the “one soulmate for each of us” philosophy. We have many “polarities” — people with whom we’ve developed relationships over the course of evolutionary time, life after life, both good and bad. So these two individuals you’ve been with, you can learn from both of them and improve both your present and your future lives!

      Love yourself first. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Thank your body, mind, and spirit for keeping you alive and as healthy as you may be. Think of all you’ve endured! The brother addict — that’s enough to fry anyone’s sensibilities! And yet, you survived that influence and heartbreak. The prescription meds and anti-depressants! Holy cow, that’s pretty awful stuff and it truly does interfere with everything about one’s personality and perspective. So thank yourself and be grateful to survive that, too, and I hope you’ve found a doctor who will help you ease off of those slowly. The problem was not yours, but your brothers. Definitely, having that influence in a household can change one’s personality (a subject for another discourse or article on another day).

      You can even thank these two men you’ve lived with for showing you about love — what it is, what it can be, what you want it to be. What else can you do at this point? Be grateful to them for teaching you. And see if you can find an opening door, when you regain your self-appreciation, for moving away from the current dissatisfaction with your relationship.

      Remember, everything you do today will remain with you for all future lifetimes — until, and unless you do something to change it. So even the tiniest little efforts we make to find joy in our lives, to experience pleasure even while cleaning the house, to seek out healthy and balanced relationships, those little efforts help us now, and far, far, far, into the future. It is worth the effort! You deserve it! Don’t hesitate. You are worthy, lovable, and a very unique and special facet of Infinite Creative Intelligence, the very Life Force pulsing within you right now, at this moment. Treasure yourself. We do! You are a very strong and determined person, by the way. So now you can use those abilities again, to make new choices. Why not?
      Love to you,

  18. Justin says:

    Hi Lianne Downey

    This is my story, I met this girl a 2 years back and she caught my attention, we never actually chatted much on that day it was just hi and bye situation, I felt that there was something about her that attracted me.
    I looked her up on facebook and became her friend on face book but never chatted to her as i was shy. eventually we became friends after 2 years and started texting each other because we both live in different towns. She once told me that i texted her too much and that i should not speak to her again, and then after 2 weeks she calls me and apologizes to me and told me that she was in town. so i decided to meet her and when officially met her, we chatted for a long time and it felt like if i knew for a life time, she was comfortable with me. and all of a sudden we attracted to each other and started kissing with led to making love. if felt amazing its like electric shock was thru our bodies.The after a few hours i said something as a joke that made her upset and she then told me to leave, and we texted each other after that and she said to me that i should stop speaking to her.

    Now i feel as if my heart is broken and i want to see her again, i get very emotional and almost start crying. I feel there is something in me that is hurt. I feel as if i am in love with her. she is 10 years younger than me. No she wont take my calls or reply to my text, but something is telling me to wait and give her some time to calm down. When i look at her picture i feel happy.

    Could this be some one i knew from my past life?

    • Hi Justin! Of course it could be someone you knew from a past life (you have soooo many past lives and people you’ve known!). But she will definitely be someone you might see again in a future life, because now you have made a stronger connection by engaging in a physical relationship. And you’re adding that emotional content right now that always makes past- and present-life encounters become something that stands out more in your future energy body. You’re bound to this person more firmly, so I hope you really really liked the soul within that body!

      In other words, today, you should be more concerned with what you are creating in your present life that will also re-emerge in your future lifetimes. In this case, it’s a stronger connection to this other soul. You may never see her again in the present life, but if your paths cross in the future, you’ll be drawn to her more than ever, whether that’s a good thing at that point in your evolution or not. Getting involved physically with someone is such a deep responsibility!

      As for your current relationship with this girl, it seems she clearly desired to break her connection with you after your encounter. Perhaps she was feeling guilty at her impulsiveness (the body sometimes takes us where we didn’t really think through very carefully, and in hindsight, wish we hadn’t rushed into). If you feel hurt, it is also because that’s a hard blow to one’s ego, to be rejected, but your emotions don’t necessarily mean she was the girl of your dreams from previous lives. All it will take is for another girl to step into the frame of view, one who is also very appealing to you, and your heart will mend very quickly. We don’t need to go into past lives to recognize this pattern. Hasty sex doesn’t always mean we were old soul mates! It sometimes just means we got caught up in the moment. More than old friends coming back to us, it could just mean we’ve made a casual acquaintance into someone who, next time we meet in a future life in some casual passing way, might feel as if they are MORE. Maybe more than they should be to us.

      In fact, if you think about this — it could be that’s how you wound up in this tangle. How does our history begin with someone? Hmmmm … very simply. And then we add more to it. And then it gets complicated. So next lifetime, we meet again and it’s a little more intense. So then we add even more time and attention to the relationship–and then it builds further, and so on. You get the picture?

      If it’s any consolation, you can use this experience to expand your thoughts about how you interact with and connect with people who come your way in your present lifetime, but in the context of past, present, AND future life connections. Most people don’t think beyond the present moment, and it’s true, that’s the only time in which we can make choices. But if those choices are informed by both past and future life considerations, they become wiser choices. I certainly hope that will be true for you!

      So stop worrying. And no more crying! 😉 Take this as a lesson learned (maybe slow down the impulses next time until you know each other better, especially if your ages vary widely), and then go out there and love other people–carefully!–with your new wisdom. 🙂 It sounds like you had a good mental connection with this girl — possibly from knowing her before, but also just because you synced up for that moment. But then, hastiness and hormones took over, and now you’ve blocked that subtle energy flow with a lot of ensuing emotions that are blurring the picture.

      My very best wishes to you, Justin! Let me know how things go with you!
      — Lianne

  19. Simone Lucas says:


    How can I find out who I was and etc… About my past life? I am sooo attracted towards the Egyptian life, but how can I know for sure and how can I find clues of my past life? I hope to hear from you! Thank you!

    • Dear Simone, Thanks for asking!

      The best way is to follow your inner knowing (“I am sooo attracted towards the Egyptian life” is an inner knowing, for example). Trust what your inner Self tells you. Be skeptical about what others may tell you.

      In my book, Speed Your Evolution: Become the Star Being You Are Meant To Be, I discuss many ways to learn about your past lives, and I explain how to validate that information to your own satisfaction. The most important thing is to realize that just knowing of a past lifetime experience isn’t really beneficial unless it brings something useful and positive into your present lifetime. That might be a form of healing, or wisdom, or understanding toward the people around you, and so on.

      I don’t like to be pushy about promoting my books, so I rarely mention them when answering these queries. But this one is also a workbook of the sort you are asking for. At the end of each chapter, I provide exercises that help a reader develop their inner awareness and mental agility, such that they should be able to receive–and trust–their own information about their personal, evolutionary history. I’ve spent 42 years (wow! time flies) studying and experiencing the benefits of knowing the science of consciousness that supports the development of our eternal Selves, the interdimensional energy science of life that explains how we live from life to life and carry our experiences with us, albeit for the most part, unconsciously! I hope that my book gives readers the benefit of my experiences and my studies and application of this science. I’ve poured the best that I know into it.

      I wish you well in your pursuits toward better self-awareness! And congratulations on your desire to know and your effort to pursue this knowledge! You will never regret this quest. It will fill your present life with so much more peace. Love to you! — Lianne

  20. JCC says:

    I was so happy to read this article and many of the great stories here in the comments, as it has given me some kind of peace of mind. Glad I stumbled upon this. I don’t feel crazy anymore. I needed to find something that explained what I was feeling.

    I’m a female in my 20s, and about 3 years ago I started working with this woman in her 30s. The moment we met, I just got hit with this giant wave of unexplained emotion. It felt like I was coming home for the first time in years or something. I have never been attracted to women before or since, but there was something about her I was attracted to. Something was pulling me in. She was beautiful, certainly, but it was something more than that. I didn’t even care about her looks. There was some kind of emotional connection there that I tapped into almost immediately. When I learned that she was married and had a child, I felt sadness and jealousy and even a hint of betrayal. I scared myself with this, and I began questioning my sexuality and all sorts of things (including the rock solid relationship I still have with my boyfriend of five years).

    I managed to work through those odd feelings and we became best friends very quickly. She was the first one to openly acknowledge that we had some kind of connection that was on a different level, and she was relieved when I told her I felt the same thing and I didn’t understand it. On paper, our friendship maybe doesn’t even make sense. We’re from different walks of life, different backgrounds, in different life phases with completely different goals… yet we are so in sync. We understand each other so well and we get along so well. It’s hard to put into words. We tell each other everything, and I find that there have been times when we were almost flirting and it just felt natural.

    I do wonder if this is someone I was deeply romantically involved with in a past life (or in several past lives). This gives me some closure and understanding of what is going on here, and maybe I’ll be able to put it behind me once and for all. She’s a fantastic friend, and I don’t want to lose her because good friends are so hard to come by. Maybe in the next life, we can be back together again.

    • AH, that just makes me smile, JCC! Thank you so much for sharing your story here! It will help many others as well. And you’ve described what this feels like so clearly!

      I’m happy for you two that you’ve found each other again and can experience a new sort of relationship and interaction as good friends. It makes sense to me that you may have been sexual partners in the past but as I’ve said before, that does not mean you will be wanting to have the same kind of relationship in the present. I often wonder how many gay relationships in the present lifetime are begun in this way, and then the individuals believe that this must always be their choice, to love the same gender? Really, we are all “gender neutral” because we pass from one gender to another during our many lives in order to gain experience from both sides of the wave form, you might say. (That’s an energy term that suits the energy bodies we live as, from life to life.) Sometimes, after too many lives in a row in the same gender, our Soulic Selves sense the imbalance and will deliberately choose to incarnate in the other gender to broaden our experience and restore our balance. (That’s for older souls, who begin to have more choice about their incarnations.) It’s awkward at first, perhaps, and there again is another way people may become confused. I worry that too many sex-change operations are the result of this temporary confusion, and the souls involved may later regret their choice not to stick things out for a few more years. I wish society were more knowledgeable and could educate people about these things from an interdimensional, evolutionary perspective, giving them more support and self-understanding. In any case, they will undoubtedly come back and try again.

      Here’s an article I wrote on my own blog ( about this topic of gender, as it applies when we consider it in light of this passage from life to life: Are You Gender Neutral?

      I’m so glad you found this little article and that it helped you feel at peace. Enjoy one another’s company! Benefit from your hard work over the eons to build this kind of compatibility. It only comes through making many mistakes, trust me! 🙂 Treasure your connection. You will both benefit from the strength you can give to one another as developing polarities. As time goes on into your futures, you may experience many different types of relationship in order to improve your communication and compatibility, and far, far into the future, you will feel and join this kind of polarity connection in sets of 4 individuals, and 6, and small groups, and then larger, and larger, and so on as you evolve to take up a larger role as a working facet of Infinite Intelligence. 😉 But that, of course, is too hard to conceive right now.

      Love to you both! Lianne

  21. Silvia says:

    Loved the article. I finally find something I can relate to. Two years ago I started working at this place, days after I began to have this strong feelings for my boss (not sexual) she could easily be my mother. I got so attack to her, it got to a point I actually was concerned. I think of her l ay, I wake up and she is the or St thing that comes to my mind, that thing before this go to bed I just can’t get her out of my mind. I feel like I love her in a weird way, I just explain it, like someone I have known for so long. She is in her 50’s and I’m always concerned about her hath and always trying to take care of her, I wish I could quit my job so I could be closer to ger, now as a friend not as an employee, I just can’t right now-because of her. Days a friend go I got this text from her telling me that the very first time she saw me she knew she knew me from.somewhere before, she had a sudden anxiety to hug me and welcome me back, but she doesn’t clearly understand also. She days he feels a very strong connection between the two of us, she knows exactly when I hide feelings form her, she knows how a feel and how I think even when I doy say a word. Some days I can’t top shaking, and usually is hen she us very stressed out, I just feel it before I even get to work. We text each other at the American time, or I’m checking my phone and seconds after her text pops out. I’m already married and my child, just loves her…he even ignore my stay and talk to her. WHO is she? AFTER two years of me hiding my feelings, now she comes with this? I’m scared and curious at the same time.

    • Hello Silvia! Yes, this is what it means to reconnect with an old dear acquaintance in the present lifetime! Since I’m not sure of your ages or your genders, and your error-ridden text here is difficult to read, this makes the situation feel even more universal to me. In other words, disconnected in present-day space and time, and more infinite in nature. You clearly remember one another from, perhaps many other lifetimes. You have developed this closeness through countless combinations of relationship: parent/child, brother/sister, lovers, spouses, friends, business partners, servant/master, etc. etc. — anything you can imagine. Right now, you are boss and employee. Yet another way to develop your connection to one another, your “polarity.”

      These relationships become so valuable to us as our lifetimes march on, one after another. When we meet such a person, we derive a new sense of our eternal nature. We become more “universal” in our own perspective of ourselves! We realize that there is no “death.” We do not lose track of one another. We may be temporarily separated, but we will likely meet again, if our connection to one another is significant and important in our spiritual, soulic development. For better or for worse, we will meet again–and our energy bodies will “remember” all that passed between us before! They will re-enact the emotions and feelings for us, and it is up to us to recognize where they are coming from, and to sort, correct, and refine that connection into its best form for the present day lifetime. We must not be careless in this! We must be careful not to regenerate any negativity, and only to magnify and improve upon all the positive aspects of our connection to one another.

      In this case, it looks as if you will be able to talk to one another about this. Explore the topic to your heart’s content! Read about past lives, study the science behind them. Share with each other. Use this awakening awareness to further your knowledge of your place in the universe and your importance to it. Learn this: that what you do with and to one another is so very important to all your future lifetimes! The way you treat any other person, in fact, is so vital to your future. Because these incidents do not disappear. The energy of our interactions with one another remains, and will return to us multifold. This is why the Golden Rule is so important and central in so many different belief systems around the world.

      I wish you both the very best! Hope this helps you to feel less confused and frightened. Your experience is actually quite normal! You are both fortunate to be sensitive enough, and open-minded enough, to recognize the feelings. 🙂 Happy for you! — Lianne

  22. Alana says:

    Hi Lianne,
    I’m not sure if I’m having flashbacks or seeing the future or just plain old daydreaming. I’ll just say that whatever I’m seeing looks and feels real. I’m 16. I keep seeing a little girl (mixed). She could very well be my daughter (at least in the future or past) but I just don’t know. Ever since long before I can remember I have been able to see little glimpses of the future in my dreams. It confuses me. Ive never told anyone but close family because they’re so quick it’s not even worth saying much about but it’s still strange to me. But back to the little girl, the glimpses of her have only started after I met my mother’s bf’s son. At first I thought he looked familiar to me (even though I havent met him before (I was 13 I believe and he was 15 or 16). Again, you can tell me if you think I’m crazy and I’m just a normal teen girl with a crush, but I feel like I have seriously met him before. Its like I have some sort of a past sexual connection like you explained above. I don’t think he’s even that good-looking . He’s not my type at all but there’s that feeling I get (I’m not even attracted to other guys like I was before), he’s always making strange hints and saying strange things that I don’t get (saying things about me or whatever that only I know about myself), I see glimpses of him and me and that little girl, I see glimpses of arguments and conversations. I honestly just don’t know. I really believe we’ve met in a past life. Again, I dont know if he feels the same way but he tries to be near me a lot and eat my food and do things too so I’m just confused. I would love it if you can help and/or steer me in the right direction cause Im seriously starting to believe Im crazy. Also, I believed I might’ve been raped or molested sometime either in this life and I just blacked it out of my memory cause it was too painful or in a past life. I have strange phobias and aversions to guys in general (strangely other than my moms bo’s son) touching me or hugging me and I’m terrified to do everyday tasks. My mom has said that there was never a time I haven’t cried when I was little getting my diaper changed. She said about 2-3 people (including herself) would have to hold me down and I scream and scream bloody murder even at the age of maybe 2 I believe right before I started potty training. I’m just confused.

    • Hi Alana! First and most important: You are NOT crazy!!
      You are a sensitive, intuitive person and all of your insights and flashbacks and feelings are important for you to take seriously. This is your mind working as it should, with your antenna extended out maybe a little further than others. 🙂 We are fortunate to have developed, over many lifetimes, such skills and to have kept the lines clear, so to speak, so that our mental faculties are in good working order. “Crazy” would be people who do not have this kind of sensitivity to the broader spectrum of life. Never let any one tell you otherwise. But, you might need to exercise discretion when you talk to people about what you know and see. Pick and choose whom to tell, and when, and how. This is advice for you for the rest of your life, okay? In future years, as the world shifts and changes and more people accept more concepts about the nature of our lives and minds, then you will be able to speak more freely, I suspect. Over the course of my own lifetime, I have seen such openings widen, thankfully. Let’s hope that continues!

      As for your mother’s boyfriend’s son, just believe what you already know. But if you are going to make any decisions about him, please base those on the present-life realities as much as possible. You’ve given us quite a clear picture, so you just have to trust your inner knowing about the type of relationship(s) you’ve had in the past (yes, plural, for your feelings to be so strong). It’s valuable to know only as a tool to help you improve your present life. Without knowing more about that myself, I can’t really advise you further. But question within yourself: Why is it helpful to know of this past? Is it to avoid making a mistake by trying to repeat it, when it might not be the right thing, here and now today? (This is how people make serious mistakes, such as incest or adultery, when they forget that they are NOT married in the present — you know what I mean? The waves of emotion and feelings from past lives can be so strong at times, they overwhelm our impulse control or sense of what is a good idea for now.) Is it right for you to re-establish this kind of close relationship in the present? I don’t know. Only you two will know that. But if he’s open, it might be fun to tell him of your flashbacks one day. Again, only you will know what to do, say, and when and how, if at all. The best I can do is validate that yes, you are NOT crazy and you are NOT imagining things! Believe in yourself! Believe in your ancient Self and all of its wisdom earned and learned through hard experience. But always take care and careful consideration when entering into intimate relationships in the present lifetime. Just because you were married/connected once, doesn’t mean you have to repeat that same kind of relationship!

      I was molested/raped by an uncle when a baby, while my diapers were being changed (which he later admitted, about 5 decades later) and as a young child (which I have blacked out but which have been confirmed by others), and so was my older sister molested by the same relative. I, too, had fears and aversions that it’s taken me many years to (a) discover, and (b) work through as I grew up and formed loving relationships. So I also believe what you describe regarding the possibility of having been raped or molested. You are describing the symptoms quite well. It really doesn’t matter whether it was present or past life, except perhaps to identify the culprit and possibly protect others if this happened in the present. Past-life memories of trauma are so vivid and immediate, the body-mind responds as if it happened yesterday or today! Of course, you must be patient with yourself, and so will your future love partners need to be, but understanding and recognizing the truth of your intuition should help you with overcoming this trauma. As an older soul, over the course of many lifetimes lived in many bodies, such encounters have inevitably happened and perhaps we have been both victims and perpetrators at different times. This is how we learn. But no one deserves this kind of invasive violence! Learn to forgive and love yourself, be sure you do not regenerate any kind of guilt or shame, and then let it go! Just like the song says. As much as possible. The tales of your family about your screaming as a child are proof enough, I should think.

      In addition to conventional therapies and treatments, I would like to highly recommend certain types of complementary energy psychology therapies, such as EFT (tapping) techniques to help with dispensing past traumas, to you and anyone reading this who has need. You can find a lot of information online and free instruction for this kind of self-help energy tapping therapy. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) as developed by Gary Craig is widely used in veterans’ hospitals and elsewhere to dispel symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), but simplified versions can be learned and practiced on your own for free. And it really works! I also recommend Biofield Tuning, which is a new kind of highly successful sound therapy that my husband and I have been studying, but practitioners may still be hard to find in all areas.

      Sorry my answer is so lengthy, but you brought up so many important points in your comment! Thank you so much for posting it! Because it helps many others who are fearful to speak up. My very best wishes to you! Let me know how things go for you —
      Love, Lianne

      • Alana says:

        Thank you so much Lianne! You’ve broadened my horizons! I never thought that we’re being pushed together because maybe someone’s showing me a sign! Maybe we really aren’t compatible! Also, I’m so sorry about what your Uncle did. It really is inexcusable. I can’t believe that anyone could do such a thing to another human being! And I’ll definitely look into those techniques cause I really have to wonder. Im always so jumpy. Anyways, thanks soo much and I’ll definitely keep you posted!

  23. Ships says:

    Hi …don’t know from where to start… Around 6 yrs back when my daughter was in grd 8 she starting liking a boy in her class…when I got to know initially I was very upset…infact told her she was too young to get in into all this….few months passed n I realised they were together…. I met this boy for the first time on my daughter’s bday …I surprisingly I wasnt angry…in fact with in just few months we became very close to each other….he started calling me mumma or ma….I would feel he was my long lost son in the past life… Any how things were not too great between my daughter n that boy but my love n affection for that boy was only increasing… fact it would be so weird …that my attention should have been towards my daughter instead it would be towards him….that boy did many immoral stuff that was unpardinable but some how with time my anger would subside…..n more than that he was very persistent ….would never let us go….. I very strongly felt that we were connected…. Thru someone I found out also n got to know that he was,my father in one of my past life….though he’s not linked directly to me …. But I m very possessive about him…so is he for me n my daughter….at the same time my daughter has a lot of anger for him but i m completely thinking of him most of the time…. The same feelings are from his side too… whether we were together in the past life or not but its so beautiful n strange at the same time to feel so strongly for someone…. My love for these two kids ….my daughter n that boy is intense….. Sometimes I feel I should take a step back …. So much of attachment is not good but I m unable to hold bk ….

    • Dear “Ships”: I’m having deja vu with your comment. It seems I’ve heard this story before! In any case, please be careful not to force your own emotional attachments from past lives onto your present-life daughter and this boy she has met. Just use this experience to understand yourself better. It demonstrates how powerfully the past can affect our feelings and actions in the present lifetime.

      Why? Because we are made up of atoms that are pure energy, guided by the Blueprint of Energy-Intelligence that we have created, life after life after lifetime. That Blueprint, or Extended Biofield, is unique in each of us. This energetic body/Self contains information stored in higher dimensions, including emotions and memories, of everything we have experienced in all of our previous lives. When cycles align, various bits of that information pour into our Being here and now, in the present life, and feel as if the thoughts and emotions are from RIGHT NOW. But that Blueprint or Energy Body that supports our existence in this present-life body also connects us to Infinite Intelligence (God, Source, whatever you term the Divine Intelligence). From this Connection, we are constantly fueled with new energy, and can tap into this new inflow to reshape, change, and improve ourselves, or to be inspired with new ideas. This happens in the milliseconds, as we decide how to respond to the incoming information from both past lives, and present life exterior circumstances. We are the intersection of this three-pronged input!

      Use your own experience, intelligence, and this knowledge we’re discussing to make better decisions right now. Tap into your higher intelligent inflow! Do not overstep the appropriateness for this situation in the present life! Control yourself. Remember that you are remembering, and temper your emotional attachments so that you do not interfere in your daughter’s life.

      Thank you for writing! I know you’ll do the right thing.
      🙂 Lianne

  24. Anon says:

    hello Lianne, this article is very interesting to me and i decided to read it specifically because i am wondering if i may have known this little girl in a past life. i’m 21, i work at a daycare and there is this 3 year old little girl who i feel the deepest connection to. i still remember my first day working there and being drawn to her and instantly she became my favorite. i always want to see her and when i’m not at work i miss her. she must feel a connection too, or something, because her parents tell me she does not stop talking about me at home and always asks for me. when they come to pick her up she cries when leaving me, most days her parents have to carry her out and she usually reaches her arm out for me. a ton of parents or new teachers that come along or even kids ask if i’m her mom or older sister, and we don’t look much alike so i ask them what makes them ask that and they say they don’t know they just felt like we were related. there’s even been a time where i wanted to quit for a better job and i couldn’t because i felt like i wouldn’t ever see her again and i didn’t want to take the chance, i absolutely love and adore this girl!

    • Dear Anon, how beautiful that you have found one another again! Thank you for sharing this story; it is a nice relief from the man-woman relationships we’ve been hearing about in these comments. Love with all your heart! And let this provide comfort to so many people who worry that, when we are separated by so-called “death” from our loved ones, we will never see them again. Of course we will! The power of LOVE is strong! Perhaps the strongest force in the Universe. And the connections we build with one another, for better or for worse, last far beyond a single lifetime. They draw us back like magnets to meet again, and again, and again. Let us all remember to put only good things into those lasting relationships, for each and every moment, thought, action, and emotion remains with us, eternally, to re-express in the future on our evolutionary pathways.

      Just a word about your present connection: You may both have to adjust to the new orientation of daycare worker and child of other parents. But I hope you will remain in touch with one another as you pass through life, even if by mail or internet as she grows up. Realize that your past connections in previous lifetimes (I’m guessing more than one) could have been in any combination of gender and relationship, but that you’ve chosen your new roles to further the development of your personal wisdom and the polarity (partnership) you are growing between you, life after life. You are there to support and help one another, always.

      I’m so happy for you both that you know these things!! I wish all the world could know how close they are to the people around them, and how often they have met in the past and will meet in the future. Don’t hesitate to share what you know with this little girl in the future, when you feel the right timing.
      Love love love!

  25. Saira says:

    hi lianne,
    read your article its great…. i have been having a very mysterious feeling since a year i hope u reply to this and clear it out to me. iam a lady in my mid thirties’, married but not happy in my marriage but i have no idea of breaking up…. i am a very clean person no extra marital relationships…okay coming to the point i actually have seen a person since my childhood he is in showbiz but i was not his fan but just like him thats it…. but last year unintentionally when i started watching his programme i had a strong feeling towards him… i could not explain what it is, i felt i wanted to see his shows everyday. one day i thought that this was not good and i decided not to see his shows and made a vow not to see for next 2 days (actually iam a very determined person if i feel i should not do it i would never) but i just could not i again started watching the next day…..
    after that i started feeling, like my heart beating fast when he was somewhere near my place subconciously eventhough i do not know that he is here somewhere near my place analytically (we belong to different states ). Every time i see his face its like he is mine and i am born to meet him. One main information u need to know is that he does not know me at all he does not know that one person like me ever exist in this whole wide world.
    Actually i know him since childhood why didnt i have all this feeling since small why should it suddenly start… , its its like when i see him i feel something happening deep inside my heart sooo much love and affection. i have tried wondered why is he in my heart and mind the more i try to remove him the more he sits tight, nothing is stopping me from thinking of him….do you think he would have shared my past life? now i just want to meet him once thats it! nothing more because i just want to find out how he would feel when he sees me but that has not happened till now… iam trying….all my trial is going in vain….. but ill not give up i ll keep trying…. My biggest question will i ever meet him? will he also feel the way i feel? will he have the admiration i have for him?
    Is this anything to do with pastlife????? Pls explain i am going mad with all these questions in my mind. i could not share it with anyone as its very confidential to me…. Pls Pls Pls help

    • Dear Saira, yours is the sound of a heart longing for freedom, love, and companionship. You’ve answered your questions in the very first paragraph:

      I am a lady in my mid thirties, married but not happy in my marriage but i have no idea of breaking up

      Why have you suddenly discovered this passion for an unattainable, complete stranger to you? It is a “safe” way to let out some of the energy bottled up inside you, because you will not allow yourself to seek for an actual, real relationship with a man whom you can love freely and passionately. I am American, so in my culture, it would be most appropriate to divorce the man who was not my true love, so that the door and opportunity would be open to me to discover that in another. In fact, I have done this in the past and just recently celebrated 27 extremely happy years with my current husband, the man I met after leaving the unpleasant relationship! Yet I understand that we may have cultural differences, and in your world, you might believe it necessary to stay trapped in an unhappy marriage. That is hard for me to comprehend, I must warn you.

      Of course, I cannot know your history but I would guess that the man on television merely represents the imaginary relationship and partnership you have not allowed yourself to have. He is a symbol, an object upon which you can attach your affection and bottled up potential to love with all your heart, while still being faithful and honest to your husband. Is this a bad thing? Or is it a necessary release of feelings that might otherwise fester and grow sour within you, if not released? Suppressed emotions can do great damage to our minds and bodies over time. Perhaps this is your heart’s way of finding a solution and an outlet for the unused affections it naturally longs to express.

      It is the past-life relationship and traditions and culture that keep you bound in unhappiness that should concern you most. Where have you known your present husband before, and why are you tied to him? What unfinished business do you have? What is that relationship teaching you? How can you finish and accomplish what you came together to achieve? These are the questions you should be asking yourself. And once answered, you might discover that your cage door is opening naturally, and your heart will be set free.

      I wish you clear insight and keen wisdom in all of this, dear Saira. You can solve this mystery with quiet thought and consideration. When you unravel the history between you and your husband, and begin to breathe free again, then I suspect that your fascination with the television personality will evaporate. Let that happen! And let yourself, always, be guided by the wisdom within your ancient soul. Love to you! Lianne

  26. Mukesh says:

    Hi I recieved this non-sense form some one. Is there monies to be made in this trade.

    In your previous life you were a scientist, a biochemist and a mechanic all in one. You worked on the development of new kinds of medicine for a biomedical company. However, your inventions were not revolutionary enough to make you well-known all around the world. Despite this, you had a very high IQ and you were also a pretty tenacious person. You were born in Washington in 1890 but due to your father´s job you had to move to New York when you were sixteen. You were brough up in a decent family and you had two brothers.

    When you were thirty-three you married your fiancé “Kevin” and you lived a peaceful life in Kansas. You died on 3rd June 1954.

    You won´t change your previous life but you can change the one you live now! Everyone of us longs for a little bit of luck and we offer you the chance how you can achieve it! You just need to let your friends know about this webpage. They can also have a laugh at it and can find out about who they were in their previous lives. However, if you do not tell anyone about this page, your life will turn into hell! We do not want to worry you but do you want to take chances?!

    2-4 Three days without bad luck 5-8 One week of happiness and getting to know a lifelong friend 9-15 One month of happiness and your secret wish will come true 16-more Half year of happiness and your lifelong goal will come true

    • Hello Mukesh — You said it well: “nonsense.” This is why I talk extensively in my book, Speed Your Evolution, about how and where to find past-life information, why you should care, when it is important, and most especially, how to validate what you learn about past lives! I don’t like to plug my own books, but in this case, you’ve brought up a subject that many others may be wondering about.

      What matters most about obtaining past-life information is whether or not it is useful to you in your present moment, your current lifetime. If all the information does is to flatter your ego, or lead you to buy a product or service, or keep you attached to some so-called advisor, then it is probably not worth your time and probably not true anyway. What you’ve posted here is exactly that kind of “fascinating fabrication” that so often turns up from unscrupulous types. Or even just from well-meaning busy-bodies who are experimenting with the subject.

      If you experience a truly transforming shift in your knowledge about yourself, then the information has served you well. If it unlocks or solves a problem–mentally, physically, emotionally–then the information was good. If it boosts your ego? Probably nothing you should believe.

      Thanks for writing! And I hope you find your own truths within. They are the most priceless, valuable information you will ever come across! Love to you —

  27. Anonymous says:

    Hi Lianne,

    I read your article and I think it’s very interesting. I have been interested in the concept of past lives for the past year, after reading the book Miracles Happen by Dr. Brian Weiss.

    My story is a little different than others, as it does not involve a relationship with a man. I am a young woman in my 20’s, and last year I met this other young woman at my workplace. We are similar ages, and have similar interests. We connected easily, and there was at least one instance where we said the exact same thing at the same time! I had not experienced that in years, so I was surprised.

    Shortly after we met, one of her relatives was diagnosed with cancer. I shared that my mom had been diagnosed with cancer about 6 months ago, and she said it was nice that someone understood. My mom went through chemotherapy treatments and her cancer was in remission by the time my friend’s relative was diagnosed. Unfortunately, her relative passed away from the cancer in a few months’ time.
    Many friends came to console her in the beginning, though after a month or so three people, including myself, continued to support her. I felt our bond strengthen about two months later, when she verbally expressed that I and another coworker were her friends.
    Then a few more months passed, and it was late June of this year. She was wearing a long dress, and I had never seen her wear a dress before. I wanted to compliment her, but forgot in the moment.
    Later that evening, as we were chatting, a scene entered my mind; it was one that reminded me of one of the past life regression passages from the Miracles Happen book.
    The passage told of a young woman in a flowing dress who was running through a field and across a bridge, knowing she had to leave her husband. Her husband ends up finding her in a farmhouse in a room alone, and she had been poisoned.(Whether she poisoned herself or someone else did, I was not certain.) The husband felt devastated, and that they did not have enough time together.
    It was then that I wondered if we met in a past life…

    Then, this past week, I saw her wearing a dress again, a different one this time (we don’t see each other every day, so perhaps she wears dresses more often than I am aware of).
    This time, we were riding in a van together, with other people. We were sitting right next to each other, which made me feel a bit awkward, even though we are close friends. I guess I should note that I was not wearing a dress, but a t-shirt and shorts.
    Then we looked out the window, and saw the full moon. It was large and bright orange, and I felt something romantic from it. I looked towards my friend and felt like I wanted to kiss her; then my logical mind stepped in, and said “No, don’t do that.” So I didn’t.

    I looked up “past life relationships” that night, and I found this website. When I read the part about “Inappropriate Sexual Attraction”, I stopped breathing. It sounded a lot like what I had experienced that night.
    I saw her the following day (we were working together) and I tried not to feel awkward around her. I tried to treat her like a friend and not act distant, because she did not do anything wrong.
    Luckily she was not wearing a dress; otherwise I may have panicked, or fainted.

    As a final note, I do consider myself to be straight.

    Thank you for reading this long comment, I really appreciate it.

    • Dear Elaine,

      Thank you so much for sharing this experience with all of us! It is likely more common than most people will admit, and for that reason, it was brave of you to share. It’s neither unusual nor unexpected, so you can relax. No panic needed! 🙂

      I believe you already deciphered that you were experiencing a past-life “flashback,” when the moon, the environment, and the dress coincided with stored energy patterns in your “extended biofield” (the energy body that travels with you from life to life). Those conjunctions of energy — the environmental information coming into your consciousness, and the stored energy information pouring into your consciousness from your internal energy storage (biofield) — are what collide in the present-moment awareness and produce the flashback. They have lined up in what you might think of as parallel patterns (or harmonic sine waves, if you want to be more scientific about it), and triggered your emotional reaction to the moment. But you responded based on the past information, not so much on the present reality.

      What a lovely thing to discover! That you and this friend have known one another before. Now, in the present, you embody the same gender. But the memory of being close in a different way, in another time, in other bodies, in opposite genders, only means that you two are beginning to develop what I call a “polarity relationship.” That’s a very treasured, special kind of connection that will serve you well now and in the future. As you experience new and different types of interaction, depending on social circumstances, i.e., whether you are family members, friends, romantic partners, business partners, etc. in any given life, you build a kind of connection that goes deep, and supports you both in future lifetimes.

      How many people do we know in any given lifetime with whom we can feel at ease, who know us so well, who can complete our sentences? This can be anyone in your life! For you, today, it is this coworker who has become a friend. The fact that you’ve peered behind the veil to see the past-life connection, well, that’s just a wonderful bonus.

      I wonder if she would be freaked out, or curious, or calm if you told her of your past-life flashback? Would you terrify her? Since you consider yourself to be heterosexual, I will answer the unspoken question: No, you do not have to REPEAT the romantic bond in the present lifetime! And this moment of attraction does NOT mean you have suddenly become gay, or need to be! Just enjoy the closeness of communication/understanding, and look around in curiosity to know why you have met again (no accident), and what you have both come to learn this time around, when a sexual relationship would not suit.

      If we all could clearly see behind that veil, we’d be shocked to know the people with whom we’ve had this sort of romantic relationship in past lives, compared to who they are in our present lifetime. I had a really funny, silly, and sobering experience with my driveway mechanic one time when we were driving off to buy a part for my car and the parts seller assumed I was his wife—and we realized suddenly that once upon a time, I had been! A shared flash moment of clear insight! He’d been a next door neighbor who tended my old car for years; our lifestyles and plans and goals were so disparate, we would never ever have matched up in the present life. But for that brief moment–we both knew it was true. We had once been more in alignment. In the present life, he helped me with the car when I was really poor, and I helped him with a little cash and proof of the continuity of life, from life to life. And then our paths diverged and I haven’t seen him in about 25 years. 🙂 No need! (And our hearts at the time were already fully committed elsewhere, so we weren’t even tempted.)

      These old friends who reappear at certain intervals in our lives, they are treasures. We come to help one another briefly, in such instances. Then to encourage each other to carry on with our life-lessons.

      Thanks again for posting and sharing, Elaine! And if you do tell her, I would be so interested to hear how she takes it. 🙂 Love always, Lianne

  28. J says:

    Hi Lianne,

    I am so glad to have found your site during my year long search internally and in the world in understanding the only complicated relationship I’ve ever had in my 30 years of life. Having gone through your list of how to recognise past life relationships, I would like to explain the situation and request your experience and knowledge to guide me if at all possible, as I am starting to think that a past life involvement may be the only explanation. It’s quite a long post so my apologies for that.

    I met a male colleague on the first day of starting a new degree in a new country. He was the brightest person (metaphorically) I had ever met, I was drawn to him and felt like he was meant to be in my life. We had a very easy work friendship that evolved to social-circles and crossed into the real friendship territory. It felt so right to have this man as my friend and someone I could have fun with and confide in when I needed it. When I learnt he was gay (through people who knew him for less a period than I no less), I admit I was surprised and sad but I loved our friendship as it was and wanted to allow it to grow. We spent a lot of time together – the typical ‘I made plans, he made plans’ type thing, but always leaving sufficient distance so as not to overwhelm him with my strong feelings. Then I became ill (viral infection had travelled to my heart) and I had to be hospitalized for a day. I was scared and confided in him what was going on and he immediately wanted to come to my side, but I held him off because I didn’t want him to see me so weak and scared. He was worried and after work searched for me at the hospital and when he couldn’t find me there (I was discharged), he came to my home to feed me and hold me until early the next morning before I told him he needed rest and decided to leave. Everything was good and I openly expressed my thanks to him for being there, we exchanged words of loving each other and it was perfect. To this day thoughts of him (only him ever) and the love and affection I have makes me tingle from my chest to my fingertips (Is this the butterflies you talk about?) In the time that passed I found I could finally make him happy in any and every way, beyond just being thankful, because he cared about me in return. I would write notes of encouragement as he was writing his dissertation for his degree, shower him with sweets and chocolates (and share with others in the office too so as to not make it too blatant), and small gifts for my best friend from my occasional travels.

    That was three years ago and while my love for him and thus my behaviour (guilt?) hasn’t changed, I have been on the receiving end of the worst friendship from him I have ever experienced. The difficulty and conflict has steadily ebbed and flowed for 1.5 years now. It manifested in a form of ‘the unquenchable anger you mention – he slowly started to exclude me from work and social activities and online social networks, leaving me alone in a room full of people and being an intuitive and observant problem solver I politely confronted him on this behaviour. I was told there was nothing wrong. But the behaviour continued and it bothered me immensely but I’d bottle it up until the next confrontation. A few happened and everytime I was made to feel like I was imagining it, making me angrier because I wasn’t and his punishment for me asking was spending time with everyone and limited time with me. It reached a climax in February this year when he expressed not being able to be the friend I needed but still wanting to maintain the friendship. A week later he obliterated my trust by completely breaking up with me, saying he wanted no personal contact whatsoever. There were tears and upheaval and confusion on my part because it didn’t feel right. I emailed him an apology for anything i’d done wrong, confusion over not knowing how to fix it, and ‘I will miss you always’.

    A week of silence later he contacted me apologising, saying he had handled things poorly as despite advising other to discuss and work through the problems, he would walk away or ignore problems instead of repairing them. He expressed a lot of remorse, confusion and anxiety. He attributed the push pull dynamic to the pent up feelings after I said or did something involving normal fleeting human emotions albeit negative (being jealous of someones holiday trip / confessing to having sympathetic stress when he was stressed / asking to spend quality time together) and that he continued to silently harbour these negative feelings of his guilt at spending time with others, him believing I was jealous about it and making him feel like he was all I had to depend on, creating in him immense frustration, anger, stress, anxiety to the point of physical illness. I was dumbfounded that few my words had such an effect when others, including him, often offhandedly say worse and openly judge mutual acquaintances. I apologised to him and explained that my actions were not of true jealousy of mutual friends or his friends, that he should spend time with all his friends just like i do with mine and while i felt immensely close to him, as a best friend I had other friends that I also depended on when I needed support. We mutually decided then that expressing our feelings would help and we promised to earn back the trust and friendship that was lost. I was glad and looked forward to a long friendship with someone I loved and who stated repeatedly “I care about you more than you know”.

    Since then I gave him every opportunity to do this and we happily spent time together occasionally by going on walks and meeting for lunch. It seemed like we could get back on board with each other and I was happy even giving him the little distance he preferred to have. It suddenly changed again though before my having to move away 2 months ago. Despite me telling him when this would be, he decidedly didn’t listen and got angry at me because he said no one told him I was leaving. I was sad and hurt at him ignoring my conversations but pressed forward as to why he didn’t want to say goodbye in person as I really wanted to see him. He quickly volunteered to see me off and it was a happy-sad moment of love, warm hugs that felt like he’d never let me go and hidden tears. When I happily contacted him a few days later I received the coldest most detached email of blunt answers to my questions, his work complaints and busyness, negativity and not a single ‘how are you’ to continue conversation. I was angry again and called him on it resulting in his declaring to stop speaking and him ignoring my follow up confused emails (asking why and what changed, what can be done to fix things, apologising, saying i won’t give up on him) for over 2 months now. I tried leaving him alone for a month then sent a reconciling request last month so that we could be civil but he never replied. He’s just cut me out of his life while happily maintaining an online presence and open friendships with everyone else in and outside our social circle. I am being torn apart during my every waking moment because I feel this was the wrong thing to do. It feels like there is a strong bond between us when we are together and always emotional turmoil and mental miscommunication when apart.

    These feelings I have towards him are not going away months later, it feels like waking up every morning has him ending our bond all over again. All I know from my side is that I love him without abandon and it doesn’t diminish with him pushing me away and him hurting me. counsellors and mental health professionals have not been able to provide any insight. I feel like he is in emotional pain and have the urge to look after him, make it all better, give him the happiness and love he deserves and I know I can do it if he would just allow me to. I feel I am not in control over this love and I think he feels the same loss of control but but he keeps running away from me when we get close so I can’t be sure. Is this even within the realm of an inextricable past life relationship? Or am I just tangled in a web of misunderstanding, emotions and deceit? It has left me in a worse place than where I started so I cannot seem to see the lessons I’m supposed to learn.

    I know this was a long post to get through but thank you so much for your time and patience and contribution to the world.


    • Dear J: I think what you are experiencing is a complete and total difference of opinion about what you need from a friendship. And yes, perhaps a past-life experience or two that left you feeling unfulfilled, as if this person could not, in the present lifetime, do enough to fill the empty space left in your heart by a previous life experience, by an unhappy experience. It might even be that the past-life experience, which I don’t know details about, was involving another person. But this man, who has now severed your friendship in frustration, represented something or someone from your past-life history. Or–it might be that it WAS him, and you both ended that lifetime with you feeling as if he still owed you something.

      I don’t know if this will make sense to you. But what I gather he is feeling, from your description of his behavior, is a frustration at never doing enough in terms of “friendship” to please you. And if you are female and he is a gay man, then this relationship will never be what you might experience in a fully heterosexual relationship, where your intimacy and sharing could explore in every direction, if you will. This makes me wonder if your constant thoughts of this man are in some way, subconsciously, protecting you from exploring a more complete relationship, a romantic relationship with a heterosexual man, if that is your orientation. But let’s stick with the friendship issue you have described.

      You must resolve to let this man be free. He has tried, and suffered, from your description, to be what you expected. He probably does deeply care for you, otherwise he would have given up long ago. But your ideas about what the friendship should be are so much more involved than his! You are needing him too much, wanting him to fill a cup that will likely never be filled because, in fact, it is an emotional cup you were holding out in a previous life that was not filled. He cannot accomplish this for you. At this stage, only you can discover what it is that you want someone else to compensate you for, and then, you must find within yourself the missing element. Friendship, lovers–they cannot do this for you. They cannot complete a missing part of your being! This is the lesson you are trying to teach yourself, to look within, not outside of yourself, for that feeling you seek.

      If you would like to ask me additional questions, if you cannot understand what I am saying, I will be here listening. Thank you for posting!

      • J says:

        Dear Lianne,

        A lot of what you say makes sense to me. I will say though that I have never been someone to depend on another to fulfill my needs. I am a strong, self aware young woman with a very steady intellectual head on my shoulders thanks to many life experiences that allowed personal and spiritual growth.That is why this particular friendship is quite a frustrating thing for me. I have been through difficult relationships, work and personal, and have handled them perfectly well without long-term damage to any party involved. Somehow my clarity of thought, problem-solving ability and knack for easing a conflict that has previously allowed me to help others and myself just does not work with this man. He ended this months ago, but I have decided to finally acknowledge the end our friendship from my side with an email explaining how I felt – that I was sorry I was not brave enough to let him go before, but that his current ignorance has only worsened any hurt and I wished he’d let me go peacefully instead of painfully. I did tell him that I still loved him and would always miss him before my final goodbye. Whether he reads it or not, I don’t know. I just know that neither of us is where we want to be with regards to each other and that I have to live my life without him. It makes me so disheartened because I feel that I will never stop loving him this way. I will be returning to that town in a few months to finish my work there in the same place he works. Life is a bit too cruel sometimes.

        Thank you for your words.

        • J says:

          As a small addition: I always made it known that I never expected grand gestures of friendship, affection or attention from him, that I loved in the way I could and he should love in the way he could and if nothing else I just wanted a friendship equal to that which he gave everyone one else. I only wanted to be just like the rest of his friends.I guess I am just disappointed that he could not even manage to do that.

  29. Anja says:

    Hello Lianne!

    Thanks for this heartfelt post and for giving so much of yourself and your thought to all these commenters. It’s very touching to read so many people going through something so similar.

    And here’s another one – I don’t have a question, necessarily, because there’s nothing to be “done” in this situation. But the same thing has happened to me as has happened to all these lovely people. I’ve met, and felt an incredibly strong pull to someone who I am convinced must be a past-life husband or lover.

    I’ve been in a wonderful, close, fated relationship for five years with someone whom I adore, who adores me, and whom I felt that same connection to when I first saw him! Time stood still, he was the most beautiful thing I ever saw, and when he asked me out I opened my mouth to say “no” (I wasn’t so open in the past, and the level of my attraction to him deeply frightened me) and “yes” came out instead! I now feel that I was following a script I planned out before i was born, and that my partner and I were meant to be together in this way. The meeting came after following a difficult gut instinct to uproot myself and move states with only two suitcases…fortune favors the brave, I guess 🙂

    So that background is to establish that I’m in a great relationship that I have no desire to leave or “step out” on. About a year ago I met a man at my workplace: a man twice my age, with a very interesting, esoteric air about him. I do my best to retain judgment in general, but my opinion of him was that of most of my coworkers – he is well-liked but considered a bit ‘kooky’, as he seems to reside on a higher plane than almost anyone else.

    His area of expertise was something I gradually became interested in learning more about (through channels unrelated to him), and so I contracted to meet with him in private to discuss this. We met several times once a week, and over this period an intense, indescribable closeness developed. No boundaries were crossed, and nothing romantic discussed, but a deep sense of being kindred spirits arose, and we found we could talk totally uncensored around each other, and be understood. For two people who are loners in this lifetime for good reason, that is a rare and special gift. This kinship culminated in a recurring feeling I haven’t been able to shake – I’ve almost been walking through my days as the eternal being I am, and not as the physical person with the characteristics I adopted in this life. That is, I can FEEL my eternal self better than I can feel the temporary one. He seems to have woken this up in me. The memories are on the edge of my mind, and I can recall fleeting thoughtforms from them, but no real content. The feeling is all still there. We go out of our way for each other like close friends who have known each other a long time. He has said several things that belie the fact that he knows there’s something overarching to our story, too.

    That’s how I can now say that I feel like I’m in love with someone who would be utterly inappropriate in this lifetime. I cannot stop the longing. Sometimes I want to cry with a mixture of sadness and joy – sadness that I don’t get much of this kinship in this life, and joy that the awareness of it has been brought to my psyche. Even if we were both available in this life, I am not sure that consummating the relationship would be a good idea. Or perhaps it might, and society’s expectations are clouding my view (I’m not a terribly conventional person; I might go for it anyway and say damn the consequences). The strangest part is that I actually find him wildly UNattractive physically! It’s all these ghosts of memory, messing with my head.

    Anyway. This story doesn’t have an ending. It just has a brutal pause, one that will have to commence now. Nothing I can do but long for his companionship, and bring the terribly wonderful knowledge and the energy I gain from it into the rest of my life.

    • Dear Anja, it is so interesting that two of you have commented in sequence regarding a man twice your age. (See Sara-Joy’s comment and my reply.)

      But each situation is unique. You said, “It’s all these ghosts of memory, messing with my head.” So true! We do remember people as we knew them but usually this is deeply subconscious. It affects our response to them, and also affects our behavior. Or it will, unless we choose very consciously to put aside what wells up inside of us from the “ghosts of memory.” No, we can’t pursue a relationship with every “old friend” who crosses our path, coming back to us from many previous life associations. It simply wouldn’t be appropriate in every case! Thank you for sharing an example of such a re-connection that is only going to go so far, in the present lifetime. And yet, you still have enjoyed the benefits of what you have built together from previous lifetimes.

      Think of the fact that even parents and children have known one another before, in different sorts of relationships. Romantic relationships, business relationships, friend relationships, family relationships — they all spin around in our “knowing” of these special individuals, with whom we have spent many lives developing an association. Each time, we lived out our connection to one another in a different sort of social setting and from a different set of rules for our behavior. And thank goodness! Things go terribly wrong when we go too far out of boundaries, for instance, the inappropriate expression known as incest, and so on. We cannot and should not simply try to repeat the past. What would be the benefit of that?

      The real benefit is what we accumulate from living out these various types of love/connection. What we learn from being in a business partnership, and what we learn from living as siblings. Different ways of respecting one another. Of sharing knowledge, compassion, affection. We build our wisdom this way. We help each other to grow as souls living an eternal existence. It is quite beautiful, when I view it from this long perspective!

      Do not be sad or feel pain from this, dear Anja. Think instead of the wonderful opportunities you are having to encounter two such individuals in your life. And do please think on this: Are you denying some of your thought and interest and fascination to the man you have married? (Or have you not married the first man you mentioned?) Is there something in that relationship that was lacking, hence your fascination with the second man? Is this second man what I call a “crowbar relationship,” where he is merely coming to show you what you refuse to realize about what might be missing from your comfortable live-in companionship, to “pry you out” of it like a crowbar? Hard questions I want you to ask yourself.

      Generally, when we are fulfilled and content in a romantic connection, we do not need to see interest elsewhere, or it does not entice us. You’ve even hinted that you might consider ignoring society to pursue a more physical connection with this new man. That gave me a clue that you are unfulfilled at home. Ask yourself if that first relationship is as ideal as it once was, and then do what you can to make your life the best it can be–for both of you. It is not fair to the man at home to share the best parts of yourself with someone else. That takes away the possibility of closeness and intimacy of spirit in your relationship. When you are tempted to share elsewhere, it means that perhaps the first, original relationship has broken, but you hadn’t yet recognized it. You needed a contrast (the second man) to show you what it lacks.

      I hope this makes sense to you, and that you will consider how to live your life in the most beneficial way for your spiritual evolution, and for the benefits it will have in all future lifetimes–both yours, and your friends’.
      Best wishes! Lianne

      • Anja says:

        Hello, Lianne!

        Thank you so much for your response. I must not have checked the “notify me of new comments via email,” because I didn’t receive an email. Good thing I checked the post again!

        You’ve given me something to think about here, and I must conclude that I’m extremely happy with my choice of man to marry, but that something has been lacking. We’ve had the most stressful two years I have ever experienced, and it hasn’t been either person’s fault. We’ve gone through medical trauma, lost pregnancy, being disowned by his parents, moving cross-country twice, a period where he worked 100 hours a week for over six months, financial trauma, and finally deciding to build our own house (and doing so) with our own hands while both maintaining full-time jobs.

        I almost didn’t make it. I mean that. Suicide (during the period where I didn’t get a day off for several months) was an actual, considered option. My health is still recovering, and I’m thankful for a robust body and mind in this life. I never blamed my love for any of this, and I stuck by him in almost all ways. Almost never got bitchy, snipy, etc. But it’s true that while we didn’t break, we’re both burned out and numb. We are recovering very slowly, and reconnecting day by day. I’m starting to feel something for him and for the life I’ve chosen again. The feeling of being known, understood, and cared for by the other man has not dissipated at all.

        If I were single, I would consider pursuing this new man, because our connection is pure and real (I feel fairly certain that I’m not projecting my stress with my current life onto him – he is impoverished, a father of a child, and circumstances wouldn’t be any different). Since I’m not, I certainly won’t, and I won’t regret that because the man I chose fills about 90% of what one could ever desire in a romantic partner. We’re physically, emotionally, intellectually compatible. It is true that the other man hints at being able to fill the other 10% (namely a certain kind of intensity and otherworldly verbal banter – we’re almost inside each other’s minds), but he’s almost certainly lacking in quite a bit of the first 90%. I suppose I’m trying to convey that I regret nothing but also don’t want to cut off one of the only real friendships I’ve ever felt (in this life it is NOT a romantic connection, but I feel the echoes of that!) out of a misplaced sense of morality – like it would be wrong to connect because I’m romantically partnered.

        In fact, I’ve shared almost everything I’ve shared with you with my partner, and told him that he had nothing to worry about. He was honest and vulnerable and thought the connection was a good thing, and we had a fantastic conversation around all this. If he had a connection similar to this, I might feel a twinge of jealousy, but would encourage him to nourish the connection because we only get so much to experience in this life, and I want my love to experience it to the fullest…

        Does that make sense?

  30. Sara-Joy Liebig says:

    Hello Lianne, first off, thank you so much for how well you listen to all of us and share your heartfelt wisdom. I want to put in a few sentences what has happened to me in this life, and maybe you can guide me through it a bit.

    7 years ago I met what I still believe to be was my soul mate. Love at first sight. Our eyes met, time stopped, we had finally found each other. He was a beautiful broken soul. We fell deeply, unshakeable in love. But he had bipolar and was an addict as a result. His pain and addictions strained our relationship to the extent that I couldn’t be with him. We had two good years despite the horrors of loving someone like that and we had 4 years on and off.

    A year ago I found him passed away in his bed. It was suicide. I don’t know why I chose in this life to love someone like that. I believe he was the MAIN one I have been with many many times over, but why did we go through this in this life?

    I am only 26 and in may ways I feel like I am unable to recover. I have trouble even caring about living often times. I feel like I failed our love. I was naive in so many ways. Now I have met a man who is twice my age and I am CERTAIN he too was a life-time partner in another life, but due to our age difference, it is clear it is not meant for this one. But my heart finds so muh peace and fulfillment in being able to feel true love again

    . I am a very smart attractive loving young woman. Many people say I could be with whoever I want, and they are confused by this new older man relationship. But I feel that I am holding on for dear life and this man is holding me above the water. I no what I am capable of, but it all seems so out of reach. Like I came here to suffer, but I don’t want to be a bonded to suffering like this.

    As far as this new older man relationship gores, I don’t want to get too deeply invested in another relationship that is not what is meant for me, but I am so weak spiritually after loosing my great love, that I feel like I need this man.

    What do you make of all of this?

    • Dear Sara-Joy, I do have some thoughts to share with you.

      As you already know, you have undoubtedly known both of these individuals in previous lifetimes. We share so many lives with so many people! You’ve lived thousands of past lives (anyone reading this likely has). So keep in mind that it’s not a “one and only one” prospect when it comes to love. But we do have particular love experiences that we want to resolve for each lifetime, experiences from which we learn HOW to love in more infinite, regenerative, and beautiful ways.

      Feeling like you don’t even care about living: Let me say that this can be a dangerous side effect when you’ve known someone who committed suicide. Their spirit might influence you to feel this way. Try to identify these feelings as not fully your own. And now, thinking of past lives and future lives, you know that suicide is NOT an answer to any problem. You will still have to rebuild an energy body sufficiently formed to reincarnate and, once again, face the same problem. Rebuilding your energy structure after suicide is a long, long, tricky process. We can be helped, as your friend will be now, but that might take quite a while indeed. It really sets a soul backwards in the upward evolutionary climb! So, keep your face turned to the Light of your own life and let’s talk about that loving relationship you are now enjoying!

      I sometimes think of certain relationships as “healing relationships.” After my first marriage, I enjoyed one of those. It was brief but so therapeutic! We were only married for three years, this second husband and I, but he repaired much damage I had sustained during my first education in relationships. Ultimately, though, we had different agendas in life and although we had gotten along so well, we realized we needed to part or go crazy by not pursuing our individual directions. Our goals did not match. Plus, he was from a different culture. We had identified and resolved our karmic connections, so both ventured off to discover new and exciting and wonderful things (and fell in love with others soon after, both of us). Who knew? We had to trust our hearts.

      And now, I am married to a man who was, back then, considered “age inappropriate” (too young). We have enjoyed a wonderful relationship of shared goals, mutual respect, and balanced give and take for 27 years now! As our spiritual mentor once said, “What’s age got to do with it?” Nothing at all, it turns out. (Although he was of legal, adult age; I am not advocating truly inappropriate relationships with teenagers here.)

      So don’t deny yourself the love you are experiencing. Don’t listen to others. But do listen to your own heart! Enjoy that peace and fulfillment you are feeling. Our life purpose is not to live an “ideal” existence with a “perfect” partner. It is to experience, learn, and discover how to become more loving, compassionate Beings in this infinite universe. The life you’ve experienced thus far has undoubtedly meant a great deal to you, in terms of learning. Carry on! You are finding your way! And keep a beautiful, happy, loving state of mind, content to explore and grow. That will protect you always from any unwanted thoughts of others, whether they be nay-sayers in the flesh or in the astral. Don’t let them destroy your happiness! Take this new relationship at face value, and live in that glow for as long as it keeps glowing for both of you. You’ve earned this time of healing.
      Much love to you —

  31. Anonymous says:

    Hai Lianne,

    I have read your article and it is intetesting. I do believe in rebirth but never taught about the past life connectios. I do have gone through a lot of incidents as well but i taught it was telepathy kind of things. I have something to ask/clarify from you. I am a divorcee since age 24 and i have been in a lot relationships physically and emotionally. I always get cheated on the name of love. I dont date or flirt when i am in a relationship. I am a very honest and sincere person when comes to a relationship but the men i dated all are opposite. Almost for past 6 years i stopped to involve in any relationship. Two years ago my house mate co-worker wanted to get to know me. He saw my picture in her fb account and interested and i refused because he is a married guy. He is married, his wife and kid in another country. He also involved in sex buddies. In May 2016 i happen to see him once at a cafe and i fall for him. Whenever my house mate mention his name i feel i am smiling by myself and i have taken his no from her in June. Since day till this moment we chat a lot in watsapp. We have gone out for lunch and dinner on group of friends. I have confessed my love to him but he didn’t not accept and only wish me to be his best friend but he treat me like more than a good friend. He said he doesn’t have any sexually feeling towards me. He knows everything what i like and he remember every single thing about me. He cares for me a lot and hw still entertain me even i fight with him. He said i don’t have a future with him. I have told him i have no interest in marriage and just want to be happy with him. In the past 2 years he had a bad experience, he had fall in a love with a women and she has passed away due to illness. He told me that he fall for her because she was going to die. I have try to date another man but it is like cutting my heart. I feel i can live without him with his memories but not with someone else. Is this can be my past live connection which i need to complete. This man is my dream man except for his marital status. Please guide. Thank you.


    • KV says:

      I forgot to inform, also i always dream him almost every night and it is so real.

      • Dear KV – I have read and re-read your two posts here and I am still trying to sort out what you have said. Let me see if I have this right: This man was your housemate’s co-worker and he is also married, but his wife and child live in another country. He has “sex buddies”? And he is not interested in a romantic relationship with you, but he wants to be your friend and seems to know you well. You, on the other hand, think he is your dream, ideal mate — but since your divorce, you have dated men who only cheated on you, and then you gave up on men for a while. Now you are interested again. You are asking me if I think he is someone you knew in a past life, and do you need to “complete” something with him. Did I get that right?

        Only you can answer whether you have unfinished business with him, and if you feel you do, only you will decide when it is finished. But Dear, if the man is not interested to have a romantic relationship with you, then you cannot force that in any way or make it happen. It is certainly possible that you have met before, in prior lives, but it does not sound like a healthy connection to pursue in the present-life circumstances, as you have described them.

        And for your part, how could this man seem ideal to you? Unless …. and here is where the past comes into play …. unless what you really want is to fall in love with a man who is unavailable for a normal, honest relationship. Plus, to be with this man would require not only him, but YOU to cheat on his wife and child, to betray their trust in him, to take away a part of what is rightfully theirs (or should be): his heart. And how would that disreputable act affect your own future lifetimes? How would it come back to haunt you? Not good, Dear. Not good.

        You must remember that every act you commit in the present moment becomes a permanent part of your Life Blueprint, the energy pattern that you carry with you from life to life, your Extended Biofield. It contains the information of everything you have ever done or been or said or thought. In your future lives, this energy pattern or blueprint will determine what arises in your life, what you look like, how you behave, who you meet, what takes place. You want to put only GOOD THINGS into that permanent record! You don’t want any cheating or bad behavior stored in there!

        You see, you attract what you have been to others, including how you have behaved in previous lifetimes. Perhaps in the present lifetime, you have behaved well. You say, “I am a very honest and sincere person when comes to a relationship.” So I trust you would NOT want to pursue an affair with this man now, because you would then be cheating his wife and child. That is not honest and sincere.

        Why did I say earlier that you, subconsciously, did not want a man who was available for an honest relationship? I suspect you are in the process, in your evolution of many lifetimes, of learning how to treat people well. You have come to the time when you know what is right, and you have striven to act that way. But now, you are experiencing what it is like to be on the receiving end of bad behavior. You are punishing yourself, in effect, for what you’ve done in the past. Guilt will not let you have a normal relationship with a man. Not until you let yourself off the hook, forgive your mistakes in past lives, and allow yourself to fall in love in a healthy, honest, and acceptable way. This is why you have been drawn to men who are unsuitable. This is why you see this man as “ideal” right now.

        But I hope you will read this through carefully a few times. It is not an easy concept to understand. But it will help you in your personal growth process, which takes place over the course of many, many lifetimes of trial and error. I know you can do better than this individual! I know that, if you take this all to heart, he will soon lose his attractiveness to you. You will change, and grow inside, and become a person who attracts open, honest, and loving relationships, with balanced give-and-take and mutual respect. My very best wishes to you!

        • Anonymous says:

          Hi Lianne,

          Thank you a lot for your time and comment as well. I think it did give me a clearer picture to understand what i am through now. Thank you so much.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Hello Lianne,

    I would like to share an experience with you and maybe get some guidance. I started dating my boyfriend three and a half years ago. About three months into our relationship, I was introduced to one of his old, good friends. Prior to meeting this friend, I felt an attraction to him from seeing him in photos posted online. At the time I chalked this up to a physical attraction and thought nothing of it. However, when we met in person, we both experienced an immediate and mutual connection and attraction like nothing either of us had felt before. I found out later that when he looked into my eyes that first time, he felt as if he had known me his entire life, almost as if I had looked familiar to him. It was automatically strange because I could feel his attraction to me and usually I am oblivious to things like that. We were both in our new relationships and he was living in a city 4 hours away from me so neither of us thought much of it at the time. Over the next 2 years, I would see him occasionally with the longest stretches being weekends at the cabin as a group. Even back then, we would catch each other’s eyes from across the room and look at each other with some sort of meaningfulness. I always had butterflies and excitement when I knew I’d be seeing him or received the odd message from him but continued to ignore that feeling and the vibes I was getting from him.

    Then, one even last May, something shifted and we were no longer able to ignore this connection we have. His relationship had begun to deteriorate and I could sense his unhappiness almost immediately without talking to him. That night we were chatting quietly together when I squeezed his hand as a sign of support. He later told me that he remembers that moment vividly and that time almost stood still when I took his hand. He said he felt electricity running through his hand and up his arm. It was so brief that I don’t even remember this happening.

    Shortly after this encounter his relationship ended and mine began to have problems of its own. Meanwhile, we became incredibly close. He just knew exactly how I wanted to be treated and what to do to make me happy without me saying anything. We complimented each other perfectly. We could talk for hours on end every day and not tire of each other or run out of things to say. We soon found that we had nearly everything in common, it began to give new meaning to the saying being cut from the same mold. Of course, we began to fall in love. But it didn’t really feel like falling in love, it felt like we had these feelings lying underneath the surface all along and were finally recognizing them. So many things in your article have hit so close to home and sound so familiar to my situation. It was him who first proposed the idea of past lives to me as an explanation for the intense connection we were experiencing. However, our lives were so intertwined with our friends and my boyfriend that I couldn’t see how we were going to be able to ever be together.

    But, his presence was so familiar and comforting to me, like nothing I can explain. We eventually let his sister know how we were feeling about one another and she told us that from the first time she saw us interact together, she could see we shared a special connection. One that we didn’t even realize we had yet. We could sense each other’s moods, even from hundreds of kilometers away and he seemed to know me better than many people in my life, even my family.

    Eventually my relationship reached the point where I asked my boyfriend to move out of the apartment we shared. I began to think that finally my soulmate and I would be able to be together and I stopped caring what everyone else would think because they didn’t understand the connection that we share. However, my love for my boyfriend and guilt began to make me second guess what I was doing. My boyfriend is a good man and I felt that when we started to have our problems, this connection and relationship I was having with another kept me from giving him the chance he deserved to fix our relationship. I eventually got back together with my boyfriend and broke off communication with my soulmate and now, not only are we not together, but he is out of my life completely. It hurts an incredible amount and I think about him almost all day, every day. I worry that he will stop believing in our connection, I wonder if he still loves me. Feeling this way and wanting him back in my life in some form (not necessarily romantic) makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend. I know my boyfriend loves me so much and I love him with all of my heart, but deep down I know it’s not the same kind of love or connection that I have with the other man. I want my soulmate to be happy and I now worry that I will go through this life wondering if I made the wrong choice or that I altered the destiny that was set out for us. More than anything, I just want him back in my life in any form, to feel that connection again, even if we can never be together. Ever since we stopped communicating, it feels as if I have almost lost a part of myself. I fear that I have left too much up to the philosophy of “if it’s meant to be it will be”.

    • Dear troubled soul, Anonymous:
      You have already answered this for yourself, haven’t you?

      “I now worry that I will go through this life wondering if I made the wrong choice, or that I altered the destiny that was set out for us.” Which means that you already believe you made the wrong choice. But the second half of your sentence perhaps gives us a clue why on earth you chose to remain with the boyfriend. Is it because you believe some external power sets out a destiny for individual people? Let’s talk for a brief moment about why we reincarnate (and I see that this is a new concept for you).

      We come back, again and again, to this world because we are developing our Being, our Mind, our Soul to serve as a more beautifully, harmoniously functioning part of Infinite Intelligence (what you might call God, but this Intelligence is more impersonal than many religious ideas have depicted). This Infinite Intelligence IS you; you ARE a part of it. It is pure, oscillating, intelligent energy–and it runs as smoothly as we all hope our software does. It is our Life Force. But we, individually, must personalize this Life Force as we evolve. You are building your own kind of blueprint software to become a better, more useful part of the Whole; that is your Extended Biofield–to use the newest terminology. Everything you do, say, experience, think, and feel remains a permanent part of that personal blueprint/biofield, forming the underlying structure of all your future lifetimes. AND– this is all in your hands! It is your choice. It is up to you, what you become, what you learn, and from whom. Also, how fast you grow.

      Well, I’ve just tried to condense my 40 years of study of this topic into one tiny paragraph, so I hope it works to convey to you that no one else can set up a destiny for you. No truly Wise or Divine Being would dream of interfering like that in your personal soulic development and education!! It is you, dear, who must choose and live and deal with the results of your choices. That is how you learn and grow. It is not engraved for you somewhere to read and follow. You make it happen as you go along. You are in charge! There are no mistakes, either. We learn from all of it.

      BUT–there are energy principles involved, because we are part of that Infinite Energy. We are Energy Beings. As energetic particles of Infinite Intelligence, if you will, we are drawn back together like magnetized iron filings. We have second and third and fourth chances. We have many partners to live with and learn from in the course of our many lifetimes. But we also begin to build very important “polarity” relationships with a few, whom we meet again and again. You have eloquently described to us what it feels like to meet one of those. I don’t like the exclusive-sounding term “soul mate,” because I believe that is a different type of thing. What you have described instead is one of those treasured partnerships that it takes lifetimes of shared experiences to create. That is the man you have turned away.


      Is it because you are afraid that, if you don’t pretend to like your current boyfriend, when you clearly are bonded to this other man, then …. ???? Here’s where I am lost. Then what?? Then the current boyfriend won’t like you any more? Then someone will think you are not a nice person? But would a nice person pretend to be “in love” with the boyfriend, when her heart and mind and soul are longing for the other man? Who does that? (Sorry — I know that a LOT of people do that, and it is just sad but true.) And when you all three die and go over to the other side at the end of your life, and see with clear vision —- how will you feel then? How will the boyfriend feel to learn that, by your actions, you are living a lie? Will he appreciate that? I don’t think so.

      I don’t care how fragile the boyfriend might seem to you (if “he’ll break if I leave him” is your excuse). I don’t care if he threatens suicide (I’ve had two ex’s do that to me, right before they met someone else and had children with them! Meaning they recovered very quickly from my absence, and for both of them, happily so). So even if he throws a temporary tantrum, it is probably only fear of loneliness speaking and he will get over it.

      What hold does that boyfriend have over you? Guilt? Because you chose him before you knew better? Or was it a guilt from past lives that has caused you to make this weird and (forgive me) somewhat dishonest choice?

      I want you to ask all these questions of yourself and many more that I have failed to uncover for you. Go deep, dear. This is vitally important. Because the scenario you have described to me sounds like a present- and future-life nightmare. I am speaking clearly and perhaps bluntly to you because I sense that you are NOT trapped in an arranged marriage situation, like so many of my readers are, and that you DO have choice in your present lifetime! You haven’t told us why you have guilt toward your current boyfriend, but that’s a terrible basis for a romantic relationship, even if the other man did not exist at all!

      So look behind the scenes and consider that the real past-life problem you are facing lies, not with the other man whom you’ve known for so, so many lives, but with the boyfriend you’ve chosen to remain connected to, glued to, in fact. Resolve that mystery, and set yourself free to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. I think the fact that you’ve shown up here among all the arranged marriage victims could be your past-life clue. And just because it happened to you in previous lives does NOT mean that you have to follow the old pattern and repeat, repeat, repeat it, life after life. The point is to change and grow.

      Please, come back and tell us what happens! We are here to support your highest benefit and greatest good in your present and future lifetimes! Your cage door is standing open. Don’t miss that very important fact. Whatever happens with the other man in the future, which might be nothing at all, think of him as a Cosmic Friend who has returned to show you, by contrast, that you are currently in a very unhappy position. But you are completely free to do something to change that.

      Love and good wishes to you! You have the POWER!

      • P.S. I just found this perfect blog post from my favorite blogger, Seth Godin, marketing guru, which he titled “Consider Reconsidering.” It’s very short. He writes:

        Is there any other form of freedom that comes at such a low cost?

        The freedom to change a habit, to change your mind, to change your expectations.

        It takes guts and humility to change your mind. Fortunately, you have the freedom and the courage to do so.

        You’ll find this on his blog at

        • Shari Fuller says:

          Hi, got a question? I have dreams of a man apparently from my past life, I first saw him in my dreams and now I just see him all the time. What I have got out of it is he has told me that we were engaged and he was in an accident and died. Then I committed suicide. He’s on the otherside and I was sent back to this world to basicly relive my life without committing suicide again. I’m not sure if this is true. but I’am a sensitive, I hear,see things and people that aren’t there since I was a child.But I see him and I doing all kinds of things together before he died.I see him in great detail and when I do I start to cry. I feel in my Heart this is true. But is this actually possible? Thank You for any information.

          • So many more things are possible than we imagine, Shari! Especially if you feel it in your Heart; then you know it to be true.

            The quest for you right now, however, is to stay as firmly grounded and rooted in your body as you can manage. Your story sounds completely plausible to me, but the truth of it is something only you can judge. The most important element is for you to take the lesson of it very seriously; that even if grief overwhelms us, we have a reason and a responsibility to live out the lives we have planned and to carry on to the best of our abilities. Or, as your story demonstrates, we will have to return again, and try again to meet all the challenges and lessons we had planned for ourselves. And sometimes, it’s very difficult to set up all those opportunities again! So be sure that you stay alert and aware, and “in your body,” mentally, physically, and spiritually. Live this life to the fullest, meeting all that you have set up to meet with good cheer and a happy attitude.

            Stay strong, dear, and keep your heart as clear and beautiful as you can! And then, when you two meet again, it will be all the better to share. And you will meet, if your story is true, when the time and place is right and you are both ready–if not in the present lifetime, then in some other place and time! Much love to you both, Lianne

  33. Pingback: 12 Ways to Identify Past Life Friends, Lovers, & Enemies - BBN Community

  34. Rituparna says:


    Please guide me for the following situation I had and have still now.

    I was in a relationship, which was turmoil, that time I tried to be myself and to get back my own self esteem which was almost lost due to the turmoil of relationship and I started to live my own way , I almost got back myself again , used to mingle with new people,relatives, old friends , I tried to be happy with my hobbies of painting singing and everything I had in my life other than him, though I was still in touch with my BoyFriend, but it was not anymore a good one relation. But our family wanted us to be together and even he wanted to make things good again , I tried too, but I was a little off bit about our relation.

    During this time I became friend with another person, whom with I just had a “Hi”, “Hello”, “How are you” type relationship, not more than that. But suddenly one night we both didn’t sleep and spent that night only by talking to each other . We found ourselves with 99% similar thoughts , interests,. We didn’t understand how we both talked so much, how the time passed and the next morning came. He and me we both realized we never had talked this much continuously with anybody else in life before that and for me I never ever found that type of synchronicity with anybody else even after that. We just cherished that match of ourselves, we enjoyed that happy feelings. Every word every story every interest we were talking about just proved an infinite attraction, which couldn’t be explained through words. But we didn’t speak anything romantic or love interest. That conversation was just random, sometimes about something philosophical, political, travel interest etc. But that feelings was unspoken , which we both felt and shared later. We never felt tired of talking so much to each other that night and that interest leads us to talk with each other more. We started to share a beautiful holistic psychic relationship, everytime we found we must have some past connections, he thought that same, we talked about that. We both were so serious about that thought that I can’t explain now. Sometimes we found that when I was thinking of him he is all of a sudden with no clue calling me and the same happened with me, I used to feel very positive energetic that time, I loved to do all my works, I loved to care myself the way he tried to take care of me, I always felt butterflies flying in my stomach. I used to care about him a lot. After few days like this we both thought that all of a sudden we are getting too much closer and that was too much mental attachment that we felt disturbance in our present life. The attraction remained same , but still we decided to switch off the contact between us and we did so. But with few days we both missed each other lot and the attraction increased more than before. We agreed that there must be connection between us which even if we tried to avoid, we cant ignore. Our lives were not settled that time, so we both decided settle our own life first, then settle our relationship in social way.

    But my life situations , circumstances and lot of incidents and my promise to my Mother lead me to take an adverse decision I married the person who was my boyfriend earlier. I am not explaining in details about these circumstances, but I just want to tell whatever happened my feelings didn’t change, I still feel him the same way in my heart, and the last time I talked three years ago with him, he said the same. We decided that we should not make disturb our present life due to our feelings, because that can damage other people’s life. We parted away, and stopped all communication. But the special feelings for him in my heart is the same and no other can take that beautiful place of unconditional love in my heart .

    Do you think that I had a past life relationship with that person ?

    • Yes, dear, don’t you think so, too? That you have known one another for many lifetimes? It takes that long to establish the kind of rapport that can fire up instantly when you meet again. And it is a beautiful thing. I am sorry for you both that life circumstances did not allow you to live another life in each other’s company. Two people with that kind of rapport can accomplish so much together for the betterment of the world around them! I cannot see how that could “damage other people’s lives,” if you two were to establish such a beautiful harmony in marriage, because that kind of beauty and harmony tends to radiate out from a couple and influence other people in a most positive way! So I suspect you had some kind of past-life, karmic imbalance that you have agreed to try to compensate for, by denying your connection to one another and marrying to please your families or whatever other circumstances arose.

      Yes, I know your culture still tends to favor these kinds of marriages of convenience to please both families. One person from India has explained to my husband and me that it is like preparing two families for marrying, not two people. And in some ways, interviewing many partners and taking one’s time to make such an important decision might be a good thing — better than in my country, the U.S., where people often jump into a marriage before they really know and understand themselves, and then have to jump back out when they discover that they are not compatible. (I am guilty of this in my younger years — and just fortunate now to have a beautiful marriage that is about to celebrate its 23rd year!)

      But when two souls who are so familiar to one another, such as you have described, feel they are unable to be together in the present lifetime, then something is either very wrong, or they have chosen what they believe to be a “noble path of duty” to fulfill. And in the latter case, then perhaps in a future lifetime they will allow themselves to fulfill the beautiful potential their partnership might have manifested instead.

      I hope, dear friend, that will be the case for you. Treasure those feelings of your heart. They will not die when your body dies, and neither will the feelings in his heart. But do, please, honor the man you have chosen as your current husband, and learn all the lessons of kindness and caring that you can. Those, too, will go with you into your future lifetimes and relationships! They, too, are priceless lessons! You have chosen, and so you had your reasons for the choice. I wish you, all three (or four, if he has married, too), the very best and brightest of futures! And the greatest love you can experience in the present moment. — Lianne
      P.S. I do not regret my earlier marriages, for they taught me all the gratitude I have now for my current husband! We almost always have to learn by doing, lol. No regrets!

      • Rituparna says:

        Thank You very much for your reply. I sometimes thought that my feelings may not right or I am not being loyal to my husband, but then I used to think the beautiful feelings never can be wrong, I should be thankful that I was embraced with these feelings. But yes, whatever the circumstances made me married , I accepted it as my duties and I think when we accept something, then things become easy to handle.

        But still I had some confusions in mind, but you helped me to be in the right path with right thought process. Thank you.

  35. Su Pooni says:

    Hi Lianne, I just met someone from my past life and he got in trouble because of me in our past life but he thinks I am going to get him in trouble. He is terribly attracted to me but I know why. I feel so guilty around him. He sucks all the energy out of me. I am depressed due to this. How do i ground myself and feel better about this? Please help!

    • Hello — Yes, guilt is a very powerful magnetic pull we can share with someone from our past. People often mistake it for “love,” this strong feeling that you need to be with or serve someone in some way. Then later on, the guilt/recrimination cycle begins in earnest and we realize it wasn’t love but … guilt! that drew us back together.

      Fortunately for you, you have recognized it right away. “He got in trouble because of me in our past life.” Sounds like guilt to me! And guilt is NOT a good reason for clinging to, or getting deeply involved with someone.

      So how does one discharge the guilt? you might ask. Of course, that depends on the situation. The first, most important element is not to mistake guilt for something like love or duty. Sure, it is possible to have BOTH — love and guilt, but if the love isn’t there, don’t make this common mistake. Your mental awareness and analysis of the situation has already pulled you back out of the cycle of repetition; the fact that you are considering this feeling welling up from previous lives already removes you from it, in an objective way, so that you can stand back and take a good long look. You can make calm decisions based on something other than a guilty reflex.

      And don’t let the other party’s feelings of recrimination/blame suck you in, as you have already experienced what that feels like! “He sucks all the energy out of me. I am depressed due to this.” In my personal experience, some people never feel adequately compensated for what their subconscious minds deem to be a debt owed to them. Perhaps in many cases, the guilt-and-recrimination were unjustified. Perhaps you did not actually get this person “in trouble,” for it is very rare that someone acts entirely based on another’s influence over them. It’s likely some choice was made on his part.

      How many times in your present life have you felt “guilty” about something that really wasn’t yours to feel guilty about? Then imagine that feeling compounded over lifetimes, distorted by human mental frailties such as overblown ego and loneliness and desires to please. That simple little guilty feeling becomes magnified and blown all out of proportion over lifetimes. Meanwhile, if the other party convinces you that, “yes, it was all YOUR fault!” then this cycle between the two of you can continue, life after life after life. It gets more and more complex. That’s why we so often mistake it for “love,” because it pulls at us like glue.

      How do you ground yourself and feel better? By understanding the mental and emotional dynamics at play between you. Sooner or later, one of you must get off that see-saw and walk away. It’s really that simple. Ah, but it is not easy! And if the guilt comes in a package with other emotions, or in a family situation, you may spend your lifetime forgiving yourself for all the little guilts that have piled up, one by one, while learning how to understand yourself and others better, and how to live with kindness and gratitude toward others, and toward yourself.

      By the way, no one can forgive you; you must forgive yourself. Mistakes are how we learn. Guilt–and any other human emotion –can be a great teacher!
      Much love to you, of the Infinite kind, to help you find your way — Lianne

  36. kalanthia says:

    Hi Lianne,
    I love this article on past lives!! I’ve had many unusual encounters with people including my preset partner of the past 12 years. However, things have gotten strange for me the past five years. First of all, I briefly went to school with a guy who is very good friends with my brothers. This guy is a little bit older than me and was moved from school to school. Even though we hadn’t really spoken much as kids and teenagers, I do remember a moment in time when we were alone waiting for the bus to come. I must have been about 13 or 14 and randomly thinking how I wanted to marry him! Silly thought at the time. Then he disappeared but I always heard about him through the grapevine because he was really popular and bad ass. A few times over the past 20 years I’ve had very brief encounters of meeting him while dating an ex boyfriend. Once my ex had to stop by his place to pick something up. This guy came to the truck window and I looked into his eyes. His eyes! Something about his eyes and voice really stood out in that moment in time. It was strange, like a recognition. Then about 5 years ago, around the time my brothers became best buds with him, I went to an event with my current boyfriend. There he was! He shook my hand and looked puzzled over me and asked my brother why hadn’t he been told I was his sister? He shook my hand, that’s when I realized he is left handed like I am and the hand to hand connection felt like electricity. The look in his eyes! Yet again, another moment in time that stood still. He felt larger than life and at a height of about 6 foot 5 or so, he seemed even bigger than that. Shortly after that I added him as a friend on Facebook. For quite awhile he would serial like my shares etc and then I started doing the same. Then we started having conversations about mutual interests and then some flirting. There was this over the top sexual attraction to him even though i would consider him to be my ‘type’. It was crazy, especially since I started having dreams about him and everything felt so intense and below the surface, so to speak. Some kind of psychic connection or something. Anyhow, the past while I feel like the whole situation has fizzled out and I’m partly relieved. I’m in a long term relationship and was feeling rather guilty about it. He rarely communicates with me anymore. There is always the high chance of meeting him again due to living in my old community and his friendship with my brothers.

    Now, this is my most recent strange situation with a different guy! Back in 2003, I was walking home from work one day, I was randomly approached by a guy that somehow convinced me to go back to his home to hang out and have a few drinks. Normally, I wouldn’t do this but he was insistant. We go to his place where he is there with a friend. We talk and I have one drink, then he starts telling me how beautiful I was and that he had been watching me walk home everyday for awhile and finally got the nerve to approach me. Suddenly he’s touching my neck and I felt like I was on fire! I ended up having a sexual encounter with him that very time. It was insane!! Afterwards he told me to stick around but he had to go down the road for a minute. I waited a little bit but he had other friends stopping by, guys and girls. I felt uncomfortable, so I told them I was leaving. So I just took off home. Later on I was really sad about leaving and wanted to know more about him. I only knew his first name and where he lived. I waited about a week and decided to stop in to see him. This time only to find out the place was empty and he moved! I actually felt devastated! I became obsessed over him and wanted to find him again …but how? So, several months went by and I ran into his friend. I asked where he was but his friend said that he was living out of town with his new girlfriend. He also informed me that I should have stayed longer and waited for him to come back because he felt bummed out that I left on him!! Anyhow, I tried to push that out of my mind and moved on.
    Now to present day….My boyfriend and I joined a martial arts club back in the fall. Over the winter a new girl joined our class. She kept talking about her boyfriend being a brown belt and that he was transferring over from their old club to this one. It wasn’t until last month that I met him and came to the eerie realization that it was the same guy I has encountered years ago and of course, the same first name. This time he is not only a new member but an instructor for my class. So, he decides to partner up with my boyfriend in class right away and they got along. But the weird part was when students shake each others hands at the end…he doesn’t shake my hand but quietly tells me ‘Thanks for coming.’ I wasn’t sure how to take this as I’m not sure if he remembers what happened years ago. I know I never forgot. In fact, I even wrote about it in a diary I kept back then! Anyhow, I haven’t gone back to many classes much since but I wonder everytime now. I also greatly admire the other instructor but I feel a different connection to him. Like he is a great teacher figure I can really look up too. I admire him, he is so cool. Like the big brother I never had! I’m wondering if you have any insights towards these two guys I’ve written about and how this plays a part in my past life and currant life path?
    Thanks so much!

    • Dear Kalanthia — I’ve taken a long time thinking this over before replying to your comment/question. I don’t know fully why it stopped me, but something about the story of going home with a guy you didn’t know, having a few drinks, and piling into bed with him just made my blood chill. I suppose you have touched on MY past lives! So, what do you think of that, eh? Then, meeting up with him years later …

      Not to mention the first tale you told, about a friend of your brothers’. I was molested by a friend of my brother’s when I was a very young teenager. And by an uncle when I was a baby and very young child. So forgive me if casual sex still gives me the heebie-jeebies and I worried about your lack of concern for your own safety, and if older friends of older brothers sound like bad news to me. These are my own biases from my own past-and-present life experiences.

      Please, dear, do value your Self like the treasure you are, and do not give yourself so casually away to anyone who stirs your blood, okay? Just for me? If not for your own self esteem! I do recall that kind of stirring up from people I’d clearly met in previous lives. Fortunately for me, I began studying past life continuities when I was only 21. Oh, and if I’d known about this earlier in my life, it could have saved me so much trouble!

      I will say for your benefit, and for all others reading this article, that just because they trigger that old memory, and just because you might have had a physical relationship in some distant lifetime, does not mean it is wise and good to follow them home, or cheat on your current partner, or begin a whole new cycle of connection with everyone who triggers this response in you!! It happens far more often to each of us than you would believe! This is how we get ourselves into awful relationship messes. Take a few deep breaths first, and remember that your emotions are being stirred from a deep, dark history—or maybe even from a very happy but PAST lifetime. The PAST element is key.

      Remember this very important teaching I learned from the visionary authors and my spiritual mentors, Ernest L. and Ruth Norman: Your PAST is always negative/destructive/backward-flowing in relationship to your PRESENT lifetime. Even if it was a happy past life, it will not feel that way to you now if you could repeat it verbatim. We are evolutionary beings. We must ever move ahead in our knowledge and our experience. We cannot go back, and if we try, we will feel so bogged down in such a short time by the heavy weight of repetition.

      This moment of thought and consideration will give you a chance to discover whether or not you and this person of the opposite gender are the right match to go FORWARD into the FUTURE together! Do you share common goals? Do you have balanced give-and-take? Do you have mutual respect? That’s righT; it takes time to answer these questions.

      So pause, sweet readers, and think it over before you leap. Get to know one another. Let that first tingle of recognition serve to alert you to the reality that you have lived before, countless thousands of lifetimes! And then turn your consciousness forward to where you want to go in the future. Does this person belong in that picture? Are they someone who can support and allow your personal evolutionary growth? Do you love them fully and with all of your heart? Okay, then.

      Thank you, Kalanthia, for your patience in allowing me to identify what disturbed me so deeply about your stories. I hope something in my reply will be of value to you. And I wish you a beautiful life, filled with the kind of love and companionship your Infinite Soul deserves. — Lianne

  37. Jane says:

    I keep running into the same kind of guy… 3 Michaels, all taken, yet they keep pursuing me. And unfortunately, I gave in before I found out they are not available. Makes me wonder if this was a lesson I didn’t learn in the past?

    • Dear Jane: Yes. Don’t you think so? Please read my reply to Kalanthia, which should appear just before your own comment. And you already know the answer: Lessons you don’t learn the first time, your own higher self will encourage you to repeat. You will attract all the circumstances. It’s amazing the extraordinary lengths we all go to in our lives to re-create old circumstances so that we can try, try again. Have you ever watched that old movie, Groundhog Day? I highly recommend it for you. Please learn to value yourself more highly, dear, as I mentioned to Kalanthia. I know you can do that. Find that Infinite Light within yourself and don’t let anyone extinguish or cloud it. — Lianne

  38. Emily says:

    Lianne, thank you so much for sharing this with the world. Your words resonated with me, and I definitely can relate a lot of the points on your list with several people in my life (my mother and a couple of lovers). I do, however, have an inquiry about one former relationship of mine in particular, and forgive me if someone already asked a similar question but the comment section was really long after a while there! I digress–

    I met a former lover of mine back in ’12 when I was still developing my independence as a young adult and making a lot of changes in my life (mainly positive for the most part). Upon meeting him I felt incredibly drawn to him, but had no explanation for it at the time in regards to reincarnation/past relationships from past lives as I was still breaking free from an extremely restrictive Christian upbringing. He was one of the first people who got me into esotericism and metaphysics, and a whole lot of amazing things and ideas that I hadn’t been exposed to; more than that though, he was my friend and I felt love for him, though on some level I also felt wary to some extent, and didn’t trust him.

    Our friendship progressed into a relationship over the course of almost two years (with a couple of breaks inbetween due to some tumultuous times), and as we became more emotionally intimate with one another I began to see a darker side of him. I accepted that, and knew that that was one of the reasons that I felt attracted to him in the first place. I also came to be aware of the fact that this was definitely not the first time we had crossed each other’s paths. After relocating to a different city with one another though, I found myself without any type of support system beyond him, and in what I quickly realized had become an abusive situation. This didn’t last long, as I felt determined to leave because I intuitively knew he might kill me (which he ended up attempting to do when I went to depart, luckily in front of witnesses).

    This whole ordeal has left me in a situation where I have had to go through a long court process, and get a permanent order of protection, two things I wish I never would have had to do, and only did because I was so terrified of what might happen. I have had a lot of time to consider what happened between us, what I was supposed to learn, and also to accept that there’s a certain type of closure that I might not ever be able to find with him even though I want that more than anything. The thought of having to play out some messed up similar version of events in future lifetimes disturbs me, and though I’ve tried to let him know in the metaphysical and astral realm that I forgive and love him, I wish that it wasn’t so terrifying and inconceivable to do so in this lifetime someway somehow. I guess to get down to it, I’m wondering if you have any suggestions about how to release him from my life and my energetic path/cycle? I really appreciate your time and consideration. Much love, –E.

    • Dear Emily, I can so relate to your concerns about meeting up with this man in future lifetimes. I’ve known a few people in my own that I’m hoping, if we ever do meet again, I will be much more capable of managing my connection so that no one gets hurt or molested, cheated on, or financially conned.

      In fact, now that I’m considering that — I can say that we all, each and every one of us, have abusers in our past- or present-life history that we do not want to encounter again! And no matter how we escaped from the situation, or if we ever did manage that while we were still in our bodies, we certainly do not want to repeat those experiences!

      Everybody who’s reading this, think for a moment: How many times do you think you have experienced abusive behavior (mentally, physically, financially) with people you believed to be, at first encounter, friends, family, lovers, good business partners, or even total strangers, etc., etc. — in other words, safe to be in company with? Yes, exactly. “A thousand times,” as my husband said when one of his parents asked him, “How many times have I told you …” because the parent’s alternate catch-phrase was, “I’ve told you a thousand times!” And that is how we learn. But we DO learn. Each time we repeat a pattern, we get a little better at managing our emotions, our bodies, our safety, our intuition, our independence, our finances, and our spiritual growth. Please do not ever feel stupid or wrong or guilty or shamed about these incidents! (I am talking to myself, too, because I have certainly blamed myself for them.) If you don’t know the flame is hot, you have to stick your finger in it to find out, right?

      So Emily, you say you have given this much introspective time, sorting out what good lessons you could take away from it. Bravo! That is excellent! And now, if you ever meet such a charmer as this guy again, you will be more cautious, right? You might detect the signs much earlier? That goes for your present lifetime, and all of your future lives. If he should appear to you again in a guise similar to the one he chose in the present, you will be triply alerted to it. In other words, you probably won’t make the same mistake. So circumstances will not play out in the same way. Not if you don’t play the same role you played in the present life! That is the key. But how could you? You have learned a lesson you cannot “forget” in future lives. Not unless you choose to ignore your inner promptings.

      I do love to dance the tango and it is true: It takes two to tango. Two cannot dance the same dance if you are not doing the same steps. You cannot dance it at all if you refuse to connect. But you will need to think over the ways in which you were trapped, and make sure you really understand how that happened, how and especially WHY you connected with this person. A past-life link might lead you to someone, but it certainly does not mean that you have to connect again in the same way you did in the past. You (and all of us) must learn to exercise your powers of discernment and choice! So there’s no way any power in the universe could coerce you into repeating the same kind of relationship drama with this person, or any other. It is always your choice. You have already released yourself, dear, and now you must simply remain free by the choices you make today and tomorrow.

      One scary thing you’ve said here: “The thought of having to play out some messed up similar version of events in future lifetimes disturbs me, and though I’ve tried to let him know in the metaphysical and astral realm that I forgive and love him, I wish that it wasn’t so terrifying and inconceivable to do so in this lifetime someway somehow.”

      Yikes! My experience with abusers is that this is another trap they can use, the whole “I forgive you” trap. They cry and plead and say they’re sorry, and then they do it again later, after you’ve “forgiven” them and stayed with them, because you are an inherently good person and believe that is the right thing to do. You/We deserve respect, safety, care, and love ALL the time! Not only when they’re not in some kind of “mood” that they’re sorry for later, or under the influence, or “don’t know what came over me,” etc. ABUSERS ARE DANGEROUS PEOPLE. Do not return to their realm of control, even for a minute, if you have a choice. Trying to find “closure” — another trap! Such people do not ever allow “closure,” or else if they do, they’ve lost control over you. And these individuals are out of control of themselves, so they seek to control others. Trouble is, they also do not act alone. They have astral companions who push their weak minds to take these abusive actions.

      Dear Emily, please keep your distance, even in the “astral and metaphysical realms,” where lower-frequency entities of all sorts prey upon the weak-minded and influence physical people to carry out their twisted desires, which they can no longer satisfy. My final words to you are to learn more about and understand the principles of “frequency relationship” or vibrational, harmonic connection. That is how we truly connect with others. If you want to sever your connection to this abusive, astrally possessed (even if intermittent) person, then you must maintain a frequency of consciousness that never veers in his direction. Strong words and a strong warning to you! Keep him out of your mind and your life. No court can protect you from astral linkage, but you can protect yourself by your thoughts. And if you are still tempted, ask yourself why you feel you deserve his abuse, because that will be what you bring upon yourself if you keep worrying about him or thinking of him. As the song says, “Let it go!” Let him go. You’ve already lived your part in his life. Don’t carry on further.

      Interesting that you met him on your spiritual path. I, too, met one of my abusers there. In fact, I have heard so many stories like yours. I suppose people who really are broken, who need help, are also people who seek for some assistance in metaphysical schools, churches, and other places you wouldn’t expect to find such predators. But the kind of help they need is not the kind we, as physical beings, can provide for them. Best to stay out of range in the meantime. Until they are ready for change, nothing we do can help them. And we must first care for ourselves and our own well-being. I hope you will turn your attention now to finding a partner who truly loves and respects you — all the time! Because that is what you deserve. No less. Peace and love to you — L.

  39. itsme88 says:

    Hi Lianne,

    I stumbled onto your post after browsing. After reading a few articles about the relationship of present and past life, I had a feeling that I probably had some kind of bad relationship with my partner’s mum.
    She has never seen me before, only seeing my photos but she really doesn’t like me and once she even threatened my partner to break up with me, otherwise she will disown him. That is very harsh and illogical in my opinion.
    My partner felt the same frustration, and he mentioned that even mentioning my name would make his mum very angry / upset. He also cannot understand why this is happening. Her reason to hate me is because I am not sharing the same culture / nationality as their family, and I cannot speak her language so it would be difficult to talk to me. But I know that is not the real reason…
    My partner sometimes mentioned that I do things the same way as his mum does, or I said some things that his mum has said previously… It’s nothing big and I’ve never thought much of it, but now I feel that it’s not just a coincidence.

    Recently my relationship with my partner has gone cold turkey, again because of the issue with his mum, who really disapproves of me no matter what. My partner has been under a lot of stress as both his mum and I are saying things against each other. Now he is just pulling back as he needs his own space. He said he tried to make both sides get along but his mum refused to hear any explanation.

    At first when his mum called me names or said bad thing about me (even though she hasn’t seen me), I felt bitter and angry. But after many months, I actually just feel sad that I’m not accepted and I have told my partner that I don’t hate his mum at all. I’m just feeling helpless and hopeless as I cannot do or say anything.

    Can you advise me what to do in this situation? Thank you so much for your post and for reading this.

    • Dear “itsme88,” I’m afraid you’re in a very common family situation. I will say again that we are drawn back into these close family relationships to resolve past-life imbalances we’ve created, or to view from a new angle situations similar to what we’ve experienced together in the past, and hopefully to handle them with more respect, grace, and finesse than we did the last time we encountered one another. I’m using nice words to say that often we find ourselves in the same family as one of our (previous) worst enemies, someone we harmed or hated, someone we vowed to get even with, or someone who stole our lover or our life, or whose lover or life we stole. It could well be that you gave her very good reasons for disliking you — in a previous lifetime.

      Just knowing that possibility, that you might have done something to deserve her dislike, should help you calm down. And if you calm down, so will she, and so will your partner. You will need to take responsibility for your actions in the present lifetime in a new way. You can’t undo the past. But you can make sure that the present life doesn’t repeat old negative patterns. Don’t feed them! Don’t feed destructive emotions with any disparaging comments about her, or emotional outbursts, or vitriol of any kind. Be kind, patient, understanding, respectful (!), and considerate of her feelings. She raised this man; she cares deeply about his future and his present happiness. She has a right to be concerned. Since you do not share her culture or her language, and it appears that your relationship is fairly new and not bound in marriage, she might feel that this alone means that the two of you are not seriously committed to one another, and that her son could be hurt by this unknown partner (you!), and that she must protect his heart.

      You have asked me what I advise, and this is it. Be a strong, positive, loving, caring, respectful, and committed partner to her son. Respect her feelings and show by your actions that you do. Use all that you know about life to truly understand her motivations, consider them carefully, and give and allow her the space to freely express her reservations about you, without taking them personally. Practice patience with her, and her son, who can no more influence her feelings than you can.

      Your partner might have been caught between the two of you in previous lives, and then again, he might not. But for certain, in the present lifetime, it cannot be pleasant to be in the middle of two warring factions, especially if you are two people for whom he has loving feelings, two people who deserve his love and attention. Try to make his life easier, as well. Practice the same patience, love, consideration, respect, and understanding with him, if you wish this relationship to last.

      And what about you, you might be thinking. When do you get love and respect from these two individuals? When you earn it. When your actions, your words, your thoughts, and your attitude all demonstrate your worthiness of their respect and love and caring. If you are able to accomplish what I’ve suggested, time is on your side. You will earn what you cannot (and no one can, ever) demand. Right now, you have no status whatsoever, and if indeed you have known these people in previous lifetimes, you might have done things to deserve their disrespect. So humble your thoughts, and earn your new status as a better human being — one who is learning and growing by making mistakes. That’s how we all grow. Above all, be patient. Over time, you will prove yourself worthy, if indeed you are.

  40. Cj says:

    I have a question! 8 years ago I was in texas for a conference, I met a friend told me to approach him and talk to him what did I have to I walked up a little overly shy and said hi..from that moment on we could finish each other’s sentences and he didn’t want me to leave his side..and I felt amazing being at his side, but he had to leave that evening..he took my hand and said “I don’t want to lose you again” we exchanged numbers and Skype called everyday..dated for a short all fell apart when he got addicted to video games..we’d only see each other again at the next conference and what we felt was still there..but one day he just vanished from my life..I only had photos and memories to go on..until recently..he’s now married and all I want is to release that connection we had..I’m not sure how! Can you help?

    • Cj, I really cannot help you release the connection you feel. Only you can do that, and it will require some thoughtful self-mastery. Or mastery of your thoughts. It’s fine to remember someone fondly, and maybe it will help you to recognize that this brief encounter was not meant to turn into a lasting partnership in this lifetime, that the two of you had differing priorities. I assume that you found his interest in video games to be an addiction you could not live with (I can see why!), so you made that choice. Then he made a choice to spend his life with them, and eventually, with someone else.

      You each came into this lifetime with an agenda — loosely formed perhaps. But the best we can do is to live up to our own standards and objectives and goals for this present lifetime, which is meant to be a time of learning and growth. Honor that. Remember that. And respect yourself for making a wise choice, a choice that included a desire to spend time with someone who likewise respected you and shared similar life aspirations. Don’t second-guess on this, and don’t dwell too much on the past. Look forward and keep your eyes on the present moment. What can you do to improve your present moment? To fulfill your dreams and aspirations? To make yourself happy now? Because when you do that, you won’t be worry about past regrets. Best wishes to you!

  41. Pingback: Physical Attraction Versus Spiritual Connection

  42. Lily says:

    I feel so identified with so many things on this page, even some in the comments too.
    Hello, I’m here to talk about my kid, I tried to read all the comments to find something similar to my case but there are too many comments and life is short (everytime xD).
    Ok, my kid and I have this thing, we both have this terrible fear of loosing each other. We both even dream about loosing each other and he’s only four years old… I just don’t think this is normal and we probably have lost each other before, and particularly I think that it have happened more than once, because we are too scared. Truth is, even when I was pregnant I was scared all the time because all I could think about was that something was gonna go wrong and i was gonna loose my baby. I thought a million times, a million possibilities: That he would never even get to be born one way or the other, that even if he would something would go wrong, that someday someone would take him away from me, that he could die or that I could die and leave my very young kid all alone, and how he would feel? Would he realize I’m gone? Would he cry? I thought about everything. And I don’t know maybe I just passed my fears to him, but I feel like we’ve been in a situation like one of those before.
    Once my kid told me that he was dreaming and there was a bus (I don’t remember if I was on it, or he was) but he told that I left him. And I felt so heartbroken about that! We constantly are showing affection, more than other people do with their kids. Also he gets terrified when he thinks I’m not the house and I’m actually in the bathroom or something like that. That happened to me too, when I can’t find him fast or I call him and there’s no answer it’s like my heart stops.
    I had dreams about this too, but now I’m gonna tell this because I just woke up. I had a dream where I was standing in a place with him in my arms (only he was a baby like a year old in my dream), there were a lot of prisoners and men with guns around us, suddenly one of the men that have guns told another one that next he should kill me and the guy next to me, so he took the guy to killed him elsewhere. And I stayed there, waiting with my baby in my arms thinking what would happen to him, then I woke up and cry.
    Sorry if I don’t have a really good English, since it’s not my first language, and thanks for the space.

    • Dear Lily, I’m sorry to hear how your memories have haunted you in the present lifetime. But I’m here to reassure you that you are indeed remembering past-life separations. From your most recent dream, it seems that some of them were quite traumatic. These are the kinds of experiences that draw us back to one another, so that we can choose different paths, leading to new outcomes.

      Once, when Joseph and I were teaching a new class in past-life awareness, in a new city, a woman came to the class and told us a very similar story about her fears of losing her baby, who was now her young child. We told her the same as I’ve just told you: “Yes, your fears are based on a real experience—but it was in a previous lifetime! That does not mean it will repeat in the present! In fact, you’ve come back together to prove that it will not.” She began to cry, and had a good hard cry right there in the store where we were holding the class, among total strangers. We patted her and said, “Yes, this is good. You are releasing those old emotions of grief, because tears are an excellent form of energy release! Get it all out!” After she dried her eyes, she was so radiant and happy! She was glowing with relief and joy! She didn’t say another word as the class continued. She left that day and we never saw her again. That was all she needed to know: that she was not crazy. Her grief and her fear and her nightmares were based on real events, but events that could no longer harm her or her child.

      If you look around in this thread, you’ll find stories of husband and wife who have a similar kind of fear, including Joseph and me when we first got together. It is very common. What good can we derive from these experiences and memories? The reminder to cherish one another, respect one another, find joy in every minute that you share. Don’t cling — that’s never a good outcome — but smile with the knowledge that your connection is lifetimes long, is old and treasured and eternal. Feel at peace because you cannot ever be separated for long! Physical separations need to take place, but emotional, spiritual, mental, and joyful, energetic connections cannot be severed except by you. So try to put some “spaces in your togetherness” as the years unfold, to quote the poet Khalil Gibran. Draw strength in this lifetimes-long connection, but keep your individual strengths so that, when any time of separation needs to occur, you will both stand strong and uphold your half of the partnership. You and your child are building a very special kind of polarity through conquering these experiences. Treasure it! But hold it lightly, lest you crush the delicate wings of love.

      • Lily says:

        I’m really, really thankfull for this reply! I was reading this and I started to cry, so I thoutght to myself “well, it’s not really a big deal that I’m crying, since I cry about everything”. But, as I kept reading, I got to the part where you talk about tears and “releasing those old emotions of grief” and I remembered that I started “crying about everything” when I was pregnant. I thought it was a hormones thing, but that has been more than 4 years ago and I keep crying about every little thing I see. So, yes, maybe that is just me releasing those old emotions of grief.
        Also I didn’t mention before that my grandmother has a fear similar to mine, mostly with me and my father. But she does cling a lot, lately she can’t spend a day without talking to us at least once. I would like to talk with her about past lives but she’s almost 90 years old and I don’t think she would even remember the conversation later.
        After spending my whole life so close to her and knowing all about her fears and seeing her in so much pain for them, I think is a really good possibility that I got to “learn” that from her and ended up with those fears myself.
        But, that doesn’t shake the feeling I have with my kid. And how I always felt that I had things from past lives in this one. Like, since I was a child I was terrible scared every single time I heard and airplane because I was sure they were gonna drop a bomb. And as I grew up I got more and more scared and moved about all things regarding wars. So, almost since I can remember I knew something regarding a war happened to me in a previous life. And I also had a recurrent nightmare as a child, that I used to think it was a memory, were I was hiding with someone and then I could see a lot of knights coming for us. And I don’t remember this, but my mom says I had an imaginary friend growing up, that had a weird, exotic name that not even her knew or heard before (later she found out it was Egyptian).
        Well, I don’t know why I’m saying all this stuff but since I’m on it… I tryed to have a past life regression not long ago (by my self), but I felt like I was just imagining stuff, and not really seing anything. I did it with a youtube video (I don’t have the money or means to try it with a professional or any other way really), and every time the voice on the video said things like “what are you wearing?” I couldn’t answer, and when I could I was like “…this is the answer? no, it’s not, this maybe? no, it’s not either.” and so on. A little disappointing but I believe I got a little glimpse of something.
        Thanks again for the reply! It took me some time to see it since it was on my spam folder, but it was worth the wait 🙂

  43. Tommy93 says:

    Dear Lianne,

    After reading your beautifully written article, I felt you may be able to shed some light on my current situation. I have been with my current partner now for 3 year but it has not be the most stable of relationship. On two separate occasions, we have parted ways but ended up back together.

    Now it’s not my current partner I wish to find out more about, although I love him there is always someone else on my mind. Around two years ago when we had our first break, I though it was over for good and I did not wish to end things. So in a hope to take my mind off of things, I turned to internet dating. Roughly two days into using the app, I began talking to another boy and we immediately hit it off. We had the same tastes, humour and wit. It was like a match made in heaven. Around a week after messaging, out of the blue, one night he rang me. I can still remember so vividly how I felt the first time I heard his voice, it was so attractive, so comforting and we spoke for hours. A few days later we met up and went for dinner, this just sealed the deal that I was very attracted to him.

    What followed in the next 6 weeks was a whirlwind romance that moved so incredible fast. Making plans for the future, we saw each other as often as we could, he even took me to meet his parent 4 weeks in. I made it clear that I couldn’t handle anything too serious as I was so recently single. Things didn’t work out as I bumped into me ex and we managed to sort things out. Needless to say, the boy I had been seeing for 6 weeks didn’t leave my mind.

    It was 3 months later that I was again having relationship issues, it just happened at this time the boy from the whirlwind romance contacted me and we began speaking again. He was partnered at the time too and we confided in each other. Things grew more serious and an affair began to happen, I would visit him on weekends and we would steal the odd night together. I decided to end things with my long term boyfriends, not particularly for my other romance but to give myself some breathing space.

    Having ended things with my long term boyfriend, I still saw the whirlwind romance boy but didn’t want to make the same mistakes of jumping into something serious when I still had feeling for the long term ex. I couldn’t help but give in to my feelings for the ex, I knew he isn’t right for me but the love I had for him couldn’t let me go and ended up back with the long term boyfriend. The other guy and I agreed to sot speak and that has been the case. Its now over a year later and I still think about him every day, even though I’m now in a stable relationship with the original guy.

    I find it really hard to let go of the other guy as so many things remind me of him. Songs, smells, memories. I even dream about him, very recently I dreamt about him twice in one weekends. I don’t know why he has made such an impact on my life. I know he is now in a relationship too with someone else but I cant help but feel that he probably feels the same. The one time we did talk in the last year, I suggested we meet up but he said that ‘wouldn’t be a good idea’ which suggests to me that he would be worries something would happen. We used to joke we would always end up together in the end, I just don’t know why this guy who I have only spend 4 months within the 2 years since I first met him has made such a lasting impression on me. More particularly why he is always in my thoughts and dreams.

    Anything you have to say on the situation would be so so appreciated.


    • Hello, Tommy! Wow, you certainly have that vacillating emotion habit, don’t you? Fearful of commitment but can’t let go? But not really happy where you are? Fooling around but always going back? This paragraph fascinates me:

      Having ended things with my long term boyfriend, I still saw the whirlwind romance boy but didn’t want to make the same mistakes of jumping into something serious when I still had feeling for the long term ex. I couldn’t help but give in to my feelings for the ex, I knew he isn’t right for me but the love I had for him couldn’t let me go and ended up back with the long term boyfriend. The other guy and I agreed to [n]ot speak and that has been the case. It’s now over a year later and I still think about him every day, even though I’m now in a stable relationship with the original guy. I find it really hard to let go of the other guy as so many things remind me of him. Songs, smells, memories.

      I think what’s happening to you is that your definition of “love” is still forming itself. “Stable relationship” but you’re still yearning for the other? Knew he wasn’t right for you but you had a love for him that wouldn’t let you go? That doesn’t make sense to me.

      I’m hoping that if you start to consider yourself as a being who has incarnated thousands, yes thousands, of lifetimes so far in your personal evolution, you will begin to see that these attractions (and repulsions) stem from vague, past-life memories of associations you’ve had with these individuals. And the reason the feelings wax and wane, come and go, is because past-life energies come into play in our present lives in cyclic patterns. You could say they rise and fall. At one moment, the feeling for Boy X is very powerful — because your past-life connection has come into phase in a powerful way. You’ve helped to reinstate it by your actions, as well. You can increase the power it holds over you, or you can, by your actions and choices, decrease it. So you still have choices and free will, but up until now in your life you haven’t recognized that this underlying factor is influencing you: the power of past-life emotions. So when Boy Y shows up, and the past emotions well up, you let yourself be drawn into reliving something that might not be appropriate for the present. I’m not say which is “right,” Boy X or Boy Y. Can’t tell at all from what you’ve written! But I’m saying you’re being jerked around by your past, which is no longer appropriate in your present lifetime.

      Think about this, Tommy. See if you can find clues to the nature of your PREVIOUS, past-life connections with these two individuals. See how that might connect to the type of relationship you’ve formed with each of them. In your case, consider gender shifts from life to life as well. Open your mind, see what comes to you. Then try not to be such a wafting-in-the-wind, vacillating partner. A good polarity partnership, to me, means a certain form of steady commitment. “Love” is a much-abused word, substituting too often for lust, yearning, guilt, duty, etc. Try to think of yourself as building partnerships that last for lifetimes. You want them to be built on mutual trust, honesty, transparency, respect. I think this new perspective will help you make better, lasting choices. If you are unhappy with your current partner, you do them no favors by pretending otherwise.

      Many good wishes to you! And remember — life is a learning process! Mistakes are priceless. But we don’t have to repeat them.

      • Michelle says:

        Hi Lianne,

        How do you know if someone is your twin flame?

        I have this best gay friend who is my twin, we look alike, speak alike, say the same things at the same time. He’s the male version of me and I feel like i can’t be without him. We are close and there are times that I know he’s gonna call before he does like I get something that just tells me oh he’s gonna call to come over and he does or I played an old song for months and one day he just posted the song. Or I’ll be thinking of some stuff and when I see him then he will mention stuff I was thinking and I’m like how did you know. That’s not even half of it. He knows what I want more than anyone without me even saying. I’m having hard time meeting someone now because I’m in love with him. We have something there, he has some attraction to me because he has said he likes girls too but he wants to be with a guy. I wonder why we were supposed to meet and why we’re not meant for each other.

  44. letitia1234 says:

    Dear Lianne
    There’s something strange happening now. I believe you will help me. Because of the strange way i got into your site. I am deeply troubled n i see no solution but i know my soul is seeking for answers from years n years n all the attempts have been futile. I am giving myself another chance by drawing myself to you for help.
    Nothing ever seems to go right in my life from childhood. I have been through hell. As i grew up i was hoping things will change n there will be peace in life. All my life i hv looked for love n peace….a deep longing.
    There r several issues but as of now i wil write to d one thats causing me deepest pain n unable to forget. It was in 1998 when i met this boy 2 years younger to me only once or twice on the church premises. And it was just a brief hello. (We didnt know eachothers names)
    There was something in his voice that attracted me. Months passed. Its only brief exchange of hello n glances. Finally we exchanged telephone numbers n name.
    And then suddenly i had to leave to another city. Months passed again n then finally on an easter e-card he proposed me saying that i am the one hez given his heart to.
    Instantly i dont know how but i replied yes to him.
    Then in the same month or two he was traveling n his train was passing by the station in d city i live and would halt there only for 5 mins…ofcourse its another thing that i had to travel for 2 hours to meet him only for 5mins.
    So we met finally after we said yes n tht wz brief meetn in public railway station.
    Then his train left n he left. When his train was moving i had this immense tearful pain in my heart…this feeling of parting that we are parted forever…that its like i was literally torn into 2 parts.
    And i dont know y i felt deep painn…its over.
    He never calked or wrote. I wrote…but no reply.
    It got over…i never forgot.
    there after that he got in touch…i was still painful..i could not trust him again. It never happened again. Am still into him.
    Years passed i got friendly to someone else… He n i spoke again…
    But nothing happened execpt the pain n longing.
    Then i decided to marry the guy i wz friendly with. We got married. My husband was ok man. We got a 2 year old son now.
    But i am still stuck on that guy….we spoke once again after 10 years… Hez still bacholer n said he will meet me…
    But it never happend. He never called back again.
    I am still stuck on him. How do i forget him. I cannot turn to my hubby as he troubles me alot….i think i married an enemy frim my pastlife…is d feeling i get.
    Plz help

    • Dear Letitia – I have now found your message, so rest your heart about that. Your story is so complicated, and yet very simple if we look at it from the point of view that we live many lifetimes, and through them all, we meet many people and make strong, powerful connections with them. We do this because we are human, because that is why we came to this planet to live through these lifetimes: to learn, to discover what the Infinite Energy moving through us is all about, and how it connects us to each other and to all living things. That Force within is what most people call God. Yet it is the very structure of our flesh and bones, the substance of our thinking, and our loving of one another. We learn gradually that we are not so different from the “other,” and that our deeds and thoughts will always resurface and come back to us, life after life. So, eventually, we learn to be kind to one another. To treat each other as if we are on the other end of that treatment. In other words, what many call “The Golden Rule,” to do unto others as we would be done by.

      What you are encountering are the remnants of your many past lives, both in terms of the circumstances you experience now, in the present, and in the people you meet. The first boy, clearly, was no stranger to you. And your very last line explains the man you married, as you have discovered a very important truth that many people never do realize! So congratulations on that accomplishment! You have peered through the confusion of the veil of trials and tribulations to realize: “i think i married an enemy frim my pastlife…is d feeling i get.”

      Oh, how many of us can relate to that realization!! How many of us have done this! I certainly have. But “enemy” is a general word. Sometimes they were not declared enemies in a past life. Sometimes they were merely people with whom I had bad experiences, in which I was not kind to them. Or they were not kind to me. In which we were still young souls who hadn’t yet learned the truths I am explaining here: that we are so connected, what we do to another does indeed reflect right into our very energy Being and remain with us through eternity! That bad energy, that bad feeling or bad acting, will bubble up to the top of our own lives in some future time and torment us. Perhaps, just as we have tormented others with it.

      BUT THERE IS GOOD NEWS I CAN TELL YOU! Because this very design of life gives you the opportunity to change the pattern that keeps replaying, the “hell you have been through” since childhood, with all this old energy repeating its information in your life. (As it does for all of us!)

      When you recognize and see that this is happening to you, a repetition of old patterns you set in motion lifetimes ago, your very understanding will begin to change those patterns. The boy who never called you back, who still haunts you? Think of a time when, if he is part of an old past (and he is,) perhaps you did not call him? Or someone else? Where you left business unfinished? He only seems attractive to you now because you are unhappy with your husband, I suspect. If you actually lived with him, your pasts together would come into the forefront and then he, too, might seem like someone who had not been kind to you in the past and you would long for another. So what we must do now is to help you understand how you can improve your life right now, right where you are.

      Add to your thinking this idea that the difficult challenges that come to you are the ones that strengthen your soul and being, that teach you how to CHANGE the PATTERN that is repeating. That you are in charge of it! Because these are energy patterns that you created yourself, only replaying like a broken record in your life.

      This gives you absolute control. You are responsible for these energies repeating, so you can be the one to change them. Once you know that it is only energy patterns replaying in your life, you will realize that those can be changed by your THOUGHTS and DEEDS and REACTIONS to them. Kindness will always change a negative pattern. Love will change a negative pattern. Sometimes we have to flee–but we flee because we know of the danger and we are KIND to ourselves and believe ourselves worthy of a better situation, and deserving of protecting and taking care of ourselves! We realize that we are in charge of our lives. And that we can remove ourselves from a fight, or from a bad circumstance. We are in control. We are like the light switch, because we are made of energy and our lives are made of energy, so we decide when to turn on that Light and when to turn it off.

      This is a very abstract answer to your question, Letitia, but I hope you will study it and reread it a few times to see if you can understand what I am saying. I am giving you the key to real, lasting, personal liberation. And when you start to use that key, you will find that the people of both genders who come into your life will reflect the better way that you, yourself, are treating the world around you, and most importantly, yourself.

      I have much love and compassion for your situation! You can’t go back to find that boy, but you can go forward to find something even better. Love love love to you!

      • letitia1234 says:

        Dear Lianne
        Thanks a ton for ur reply. I am sorry i was a pit pushy today in my messages but there is alot unexpressed feelings in my previous message.
        Just a little bit about me…. I have always been very kind and helpful to people around me to the extent of giving more than my part. But from the time i got married…i got hesitant to come foward to be with people because i always wanted to keep my marriage safe…as he always thinks twice for everything.
        I have always tried to treat people right to the best of my ability.
        Given my best in all relationships n friendship….but theres a pattern… People keep leaving me n going without any reason. Somehow i dont know why suddenly the best of best friend will get upset with me for reason i wil not know and leave me. Either they get upset or it just so happens that they leave for another city or country…n then the friendship is lost.
        Its always me who tries to get in touch.. One thing about me is i can never be diplomatic in my talk or relations.. I speak n act straight from my heart.
        Lianne i wrote about myself to you because maybe this way you will understand me n my situations more cleay…n will surely help me.
        About my feelings for the first guy….yes is very strong from day Lianne. I never forgot him. I remembered him everyday from day one n i still do. He never gave me an opportunity to tell him how i felt for him. But as u said maybe some job is unfinished….n i really dont know what…because about my this life therez something strange about me is i like to finish a job completely to the T if i undertake it.
        But in his case i feel therez something unfinished and i have this strong urge to complete it
        About my hubby….maybe i married because he came along as a nice person and i thought that way i will forget this first guy who i still love……
        I longed to have a baby….n i thought with baby in my life i wil forget him….but Lianne nothing happened…its i never forgot him. Someone who has not even held my hand….i love that person for years n years….i long for him from years.
        My hubby is only for his mother and sister…he just does not feel for me. Its like hez taking some kind of revenge on me. I love him too n i hv been faithful to him even now..but he does not think about me.
        Lianne i have tried my best with everyone n now dear its like am feeling tired….my soul searches for peace love n tranquility.
        Before my marriage i was such a cheerful helpful soul and now i have forgotten to smile…my heart does not know now how to smile
        I need guidance lianne. Will you help me please..
        Thanks dear for ur prompt reply….it did help me. Thanks again.
        Lots of love

        • Today, I have stolen a few moments to reply, Letitia, because you feel so urgent in your questions and I respect that! I wanted to tell you that you have brought up a very good point: You are a good person. In this present lifetime, you have done well by people; you have done your best; and you always want to finish a job “to the T”! These traits — believe it or not! — also support the idea that you have come into your present life with the idea to do better this time around, to be a good person, to do your best and not leave things un-done, etc., because in prior lives you have tried it the other way and did not like it!

          Many of us who are Seekers for truth are in exactly the same kind of boat as you. We do our best, but our motivation for doing that comes from many, many, in fact thousands of past lifetimes in which we made mistakes and later on, judged our own selves and thought, “Hm. I can do better than that. I don’t like how that turned out. I know better now.” And so, with help from the Lighted Ones who guide us and assist when we ask, we made a plan to come back and do just that! And to make up for our past mistakes, we often have to apply ourselves and work harder to do the right thing this time. We compensate. And that is how we “work out our karma.” That is how we heal and grow and become more evolved as Souls.

          This is the truth of your present life, Letitia. That you are here, navigating through the debris of past life mistakes. All the things that happen to you that make no sense in the context of your present, just realize that they are carrying energy-information from distant, long ago past life situations. You might have even been a different gender then! You might have played the role of the good guy or the bad guy (or gal), but all of the negativity that comes to you now, you can surf like a wave if you apply this knowledge of the continuity of life, from life to life. It will take time and thought, but eventually, it will all start to make a lot more sense to you, I promise. My Cosmic CoAuthors (and yours) promise that!

          Just hang in there and keep trying for that more positive state of mind. You are on the right track! Because you have identified that you lost something that you can easily regain: “My heart does not know now how to smile.” Oh yes it does! Are you smiling yet??? It’s that easy. Just remember! You have done it before, and you can do it again. You will find that even your husband will notice, if you keep it up. You are not alone, you know. I mean spiritually. Reach within yourself and ask for help when you need it. You will find it flowing to you if you open your mind and your heart again. You found this site, didn’t you? 😉 And that’s how close those guiding Forces are to you. But they reside at a higher frequency and a negative train of thought will always lead you away from that. Keep a flicker of hope and a Flame of Love burning in that heart of yours. Watch your life transform!!

          • P.S. Would you mind telling me what country you reside in? Because I did see you in a particular setting when I read your first post and I am curious to know if I was seeing your present life, or a past life. That occurred to me much later, that I might not have been seeing you where you currently live. If that’s too much information to share, I will understand.

          • Anonymous says:

            Dear Lianne.
            I have a small sentence for you….
            “THANK YOU for understanding and replying.”
            Its true i guess because i have been seeking answers from a very long time …how time which i also cannot tell. .My soul is searching…really searching for something i dont know what….i at times dont feel a part of this life n time but that feeling is difficult to express n more difficult to make anyone else understand but as you said…the guiding forces are there for me….i finally found an angel….”Lianne”. Who came as a prompt help for me. Thank you dear so much…it does puts me at ease.
            Life unfolds its mysteries at its own time i guess. But i really have a lot of questions in my mind to seek your advice but this is a public platform to open up personal life so much.
            Would you b kind to give me ur email where i can write to you…if thats fine with you….if not….no problem…i undestand.
            But let me just thank you again…
            THANK YOU My angel LIANNE.

            • Thank you for your kind words. But truly, these replies are all written under the influence of my own “Angels,” advanced minds who collectively care for the people on our planet because they have graduated from the lessons we are now struggling with. Call them whatever you like; I decided a few years ago to call them my “Cosmic CoAuthors” since I am an author. 🙂 Mostly, if you want advice, just go deep within your mind and call on them! They will meet you on that positive thought train you’re learning to maintain. But if you wish to reach me and add yourself to my mailing list (which one day I promise to actually use to tell people where and when we are teaching, or when I release a new book) visit my blog and fill out the Contact form you’ll find there. I’m at

          • Anonymous says:

            Dear Lianne.
            (I dont know how but my reply went to under “Anonymous”… Thats y m sending this reply to you again)
            I have a small sentence for you….
            “THANK YOU for understanding and replying.”
            Its true i guess because i have been seeking answers from a very long time …how time which i also cannot tell. .My soul is searching…really searching for something i dont know what….i at times dont feel a part of this life n time but that feeling is difficult to express n more difficult to make anyone else understand but as you said…the guiding forces are there for me….i finally found an angel….”Lianne”. Who came as a prompt help for me. Thank you dear so much…it does puts me at ease.
            Life unfolds its mysteries at its own time i guess. But i really have a lot of questions in my mind to seek your advice but this is a public platform to open up personal life so much.
            Would you b kind to give me ur email where i can write to you…if thats fine with you….if not….no problem…i undestand.
            But let me just thank you again…
            THANK YOU My angel LIANNE.
            Lots of love

      • letitia1234 says:

        Dear Lianne.
        This is the first thing i wanted to write to you but am sorry i forgot. I wanted to tell you that you write so well with so much of profound wisdom and understanding. May God bless you abundantly as you continue to do this good work in helping people with your knowledge.
        Once again Lianne thank u.

      • cecilia says:

        Hello Lianne, you helped me a while back to see more clear the friendship between my daughter and her Skype friend. Besides making sure that she is safe while navigating the net, I didn’t do much in terms of guiding her. She is 17 now, and because she was very sick due to her Neurolyme disease, she totally removed herself from the internet for about 4 months. When she resume her usual chat with friends she reconnected with this overseas friend(18) and they’re talking every day for hours at the time. He would also make the intent to talk to her every day, before she would call . While she has friends in school and other activities that keeps her busy, she was happy mostly when she would be able to talk to him . Being in an open area where I could here now and then their conversation, I could tell that my daughter was way to distracted at times, not paying much attention to detail while her friend would remember their conversation and later on telling her about it, Part of her disease is that it affected her short term memory, a fact that the neurologist mentioned to me . Their chats were pure delight, she would play guitar, sing, he would sing with her at times. She would help him cheer up when he was having a bad day etc. Since I was planning a trip with her overseas, to UK and France, where we have close friends, she insisted that she wanted to meet him in person too. I heard many times their conversation planning where they would go while she and me will stay in his city for two days. Even though he told her that she has a girlfriend, he said that he will be really happy to meet her, he even helped her with a school assignment interview for the story core, and even in that he was saying that would be really nice if they can meet. I only told her that she should understand that this is just a friendship and she was fine with it. My daughter got to even speak briefly with his grandma and she was so excited at the thought of being able to meet everyone. Only that one month ago, he started blocking her in every social media that they use to communicated, he wouldn’t reply to her messages either, especially the ones pertaining to the time of our arrival in his city .Only last week he contacted her by Skype, apologizing, saying something like he is sorry he is probably just overreacting but he just needs time to himself with his girlfriend, that he cut off alot of people recently so its nothing personal it just needed to happen. – she called me to show me what he wrote. She is crying, now and then, she feels really hurt but she said that she wants to keep the line of communication open. Prior to all this happening she bought little souvenirs for his grandma and mom and for him and she is insisting that she wants to drop them to the house. He said that he will be away for three weeks when we will be there, saying that he panicked when he realized that he will not be home. Even knowing this, my daughter is still insisting that she wasn’t to drop this little gifts to them. There are little metal bracelet made in USA with spiritual meaning that she thought that the grandma and mom would like since they are religious … she was so excited to get this gifts . I don’t know what to tell her. I feel saddened by this, actually at times it feels that something is missing. He was somehow part of the household, you could always hear them giggle . She keeps saying that what is happening now is not final, that he will contact her again . She doesn’t really form strong bonds with other friends around, even thought she has friends from dance and her choir. ..and online friends. He was her anchor it seems. What do I tell her? I had strong connection during my adolescence , and I was very intuitive back then, but somehow I was able to detach when . I use to write in my journal and that helped . She just tends to get depressed, she keeps saying that it hurts her a lot since this friendship means so much to her.

        • Cecelia, at this point I think you must seek professional help. This goes way beyond my knowledge. Also, I encourage you to nurture your own intuitive skills that you mention briefly at the end. Go back to writing in your journal. I still think you are too involved in this situation emotionally, and I think it best if you both seek professional counseling. If your daughter is as upset as you describe, please don’t delay. Love to you both! — Lianne

  45. Anonymous says:

    Hi. I really liked your article. I have one question. It’s about my best friend. She likes an actor. In the beginning I thought that she liked him as his fan or something. But she is very serious about him. She says that she has a feeling that they will meet. Even when she had a boyfriend, she said that she loves that actor more than she loves him. That actor is not very popular and I don’t like him. She said one day that its good that he is not very popular because she don’t want people to see him and chances of her meeting him will increase. She is really crazy about him and she thinks they are meant to be together. Do you she might have a past connection with this actor?

    • Hello– So sorry for the long delay in answering but I have been busy moving and my office has been in chaos! Alas, your friend is the only one who could really tell us if she has known this individual in previous lives. That’s the trickiness about past life information: we can’t prove or convince anyone else of it; only we can *feel* what is right and what is true. Our lives here are designed that way–so that we don’t get too confused with past experience and fail to live right now, in this moment, to the fullest extent. But every once in a while, it becomes extremely helpful to see and feel and know that we have been here before, that we have known X or Y before, or that we have passed/failed this personal challenge before. Our entire purpose here is to conquer our own challenges, to rise up to be a better person than we have been before, to make better choices, and most of all, to understand life better each time we give it a go. My very best good wishes to you and your friend, Anonymous! May you always walk the High Road and make the Very Best Choices for your personal, evolutionary development! <3

  46. Stephanie says:

    Hi Lianne,

    I am so glad I came across your article. Maybe you can help me decipher something I’ve been pondering a very long time. I am a 26 year old female. I met my husband (in Walmart of all places at 1 am!!) 8 years ago. At the store when I met him I admit that I did not feel anything special. But within 2 days of seeing him, we both felt a connection neither of us could explain. He didn’t tell me until later on but we both felt like we’ve known each other forever. We fell so deeply in love so so quickly. We are very similar in our personalities which has always made it very difficult to maintain a relationship. When we first met we were both very young so we would argue constantly and break up/make up because we are so alike. But no matter what we couldn’t stay away from each other. It was like our love was on fire. We couldn’t live without each other. 2 years later into our relationship we both were going through very difficult personal things. I lost my mother at age 19 and he was meeting his mother for the first time after he abandoned her at a young age. We were both very stressed and I broke it off. This time “for good”. Over the next 3 years he tried to get back with me countless times but I was going through a deep depression mourning the loss of my mother and lost track of my entire life. We would always always always be in touch. After those 3 years we got back together and we picked up like we never broke up in the first place. We know we are meant to be together and nothing can ever get between us. We quickly got engaged and married at age 23. We have always known. It is an indescribable feeling. I think it is more intense for me than it is for him though. I NEED him. Like I’ve read elsewhere (and couldn’t find the words until I read them) it is literally like my very survival depends on him. I constantly everyday have fear that he will die or I will die. Not a fear of losing my life. It’s a fear that we will be separated. Even if it’s not right now I know that it will obviously happen one day and it scares me to death. Scares me to tears and panic attacks at the mere thought of it. I cannot bare the thought that one day we will no longer be together. I am not underestimating anyone’s marriage or love for their spouse but I truly believe this is something different. It is not like any other love. I simply can’t explain it. It also scares me to death that in another life we may only pass by each other or not at all as I’ve also read. I can’t imagine living an entire lifetime without him. I am in tears as I think about it. In an ideal world we will grow very very old together, die together, and cross over to the other side together for eternity. But the more I read about this the more I am beginning to realize that is not how it works nor is it probable even if it was possible and it kills me inside.

    • Hello, Stephanie! I actually replied the day you posted this but apparently my computer or the Internet swallowed it. Let me first say that the intensity of your feeling/fear/worry comes from past lives when you and your husband knew one another before! (Had to get that out quick before it got lost again.)

      Last time, I told you how I had the same experience with my husband Joseph, when we first got together. As soon as, like you, we recognized HOW MUCH we meant to each other, and how long we had worked for this reunion in the present lifetime, we immediately got back in tune with how we separated the last time–and the time before that–and the time before that!! Yikes! Grief overwhelmed us again. I remember one day huddling together on the couch, crying over the very thought of being separated again. (Never thought I’d share that with anyone else, but here I am, hoping it will help you understand yourself and forgive yourself for feeling this way. It’s normal!)

      But–key point here–Joseph and I met in a school where we were studying past life awareness and healing, so within a short period of time, we realized what was going on. We weren’t fretting over the future, we were remembering our past emotionally! Duh!! All the emotions we’d accumulated during those brief separations in past lives, when inevitably we left our physical bodies for a time, had coincided again in our minds and hearts, and like you, we felt them overpoweringly. And then, with recognition that they were old emotions already used up (or should have been), and that we had so many beautiful times to enjoy again, they faded into the background as we set about on our new tasks, our new life–just as you must do. We’ve been carrying on with our new life for 26 years now. 🙂 If I want to tune back to my past lives, in my mind, when one or the other of us died, sure, I can feel that grief again. But it is inappropriate to my NOW and only stains the present with a color I don’t want: gray. Same for you!!

      Now about the fear of not seeing one another AFTER you separate at the end of this lifetime–just forget that idea. You even tried to stay apart in the present life, right? And how did that work out for you? It didn’t happen, did it? Our links with one another are made up of energetic patterns (because we are energy beings). Unless you really dismantle and redesign that energy blueprint, you will be drawn inexorably toward one another, until and unless you make serious, deep soulic plans to go in different directions (if you are highly evolved enough to do so or have help from the Advanced Beings who serve as your counselors). Or if you make that choice for other reasons and work hard to redesign and separate that link with one another.

      Yet we agree: Work hard to serve others, love intensely, live long and healthy lives, and die together of old age. Why not? Who says we can’t? When one of us crosses over, NO WAY will we be out of communication; we practice this psychic link every day without trying. Why would that change? And, not see each other in higher dimensions? Hah! My beliefs tell me that our consciousness becomes like the GPS in that energy state, and it will steer us toward one another fast as we think the thought. So, no worries, Stephanie. (Same is true with your mother, by the way.)

      About those past lives: A relationship like you have described is made up of many different types of connection, such as friends, enemies, co-conspirators, confederates, associates, bosses and employees, parents and children, siblings, and so on. Over the eons, you’ve linked up in countless ways, learning, learning, and learning how to treat one another with respect. One of the past lives I found myself grieving over with Joseph involved him as my grandparent! Separation was inevitable. But over the years, we’ve identified countless others. Imagine how many you two have experienced! And each time–voila! You found one another again.

      Don’t let grief bubbling up from previous lifetimes cloud your enjoyment of right now, today, Christmas Day as it happens, when you must savor every moment with love, respect, and shared goals. Love to you both from me–and my Cosmic CoAuthors!

      • Stephanie says:

        Wow Lianne thank you so so much for taking the time to respond to me. I cried so much reading it. You have lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. I can’t even begin to explain. I read it to my husband but he is somewhat of a non-believer unfortunately. But I keep reading him articles trying to convince him we live past lives lol. Wow I cannot thank you enough!! I am so appreciative 🙂

  47. Lisette says:

    Hi Lianne,

    Thank you for this interesting article, with so many beautiful stories in the comments, even two years later. It is an interesting perspective to use when analyzing events from your current situation. It makes me think of the different relationships I have in my life and the complicated dynamics with some people. I’m so curious about my past connections to these people. Even though I’ve stopped believing in a lot of things in the past few years, I’ve always held on to a belief in reincarnation for some reason.

    As a teenager I met a guy, a friend of a friend, who I instantly recognized as someone I knew very well, for many, many years. It was a very strange feeling and I just couldn’t come up with how I knew him. I tried so hard to figure it out; was he a family friend? I realized I never met him before and figured it must have been someone from a past life. It was not a romantic/sexual attraction, even though he was a guy of around my age. A few days later, we had a conversation about reincarnation and without me saying anything, he told me that when he first saw me, he felt like he had known me for years. This gave me chills and validated the interpretation I had given to my experience. We are from different countries and lived in different countries as well. After this experience, I felt like him and I needed to be in each other’s lives or something. Just because that was the only way I could make sense of my experience. But it just didn’t happen. Not only did we live in different countries, we also didn’t have that much of a natural connection. The days after that one conversation we had, we saw each other several times, but never had much to talk about and were just like two random people who just met each other. All we had was that initial experience.

    It’s a long time ago and it is not an important thing in my life anymore. However, I still wonder why we met. Do you think that there was a reason for us meeting? Or just some random coincidence? And why would we both have this strong feeling of familiarity with one another, but not feel like trying to become friends in this life?

    On another note, I had similar, yet much less intense experiences with some of his friends I met around the same time, and also with a very close friend of mine who introduced me to this guy and his friends. After this period in my life, I never had this experience again.

    Thanks again for sharing your insights in your article and in this thread. It’s all very interesting to me.

    Thank you,


    • Hello, Lisette! It pops into my mind right away that you have just demonstrated one very profound, good reason you had this experience: It has helped today, to convince you that you have, indeed, lived prior lifetimes! And that you/we do carry feelings and connections forward with us, into future lives.

      As for why you did not become friends in the present life, you pointed to many reasons that wasn’t going to work out. And naturally, we want to move ahead, change, and grow in each subsequent life (that is our purpose for reincarnating!), so we don’t replay every friendship and relationship over and over again. Then we would be stuck! But it is nice sometimes when we cross paths with an old friend for a few minutes, and enjoy that experience of soulic recognition. It gives us such a deep sense that we are larger, older, and more important than the mere surface of life here indicates on a daily basis. We matter. Our interactions with others matter. Our feelings matter. And they are far more important, and lasting, than our material surroundings.

      Love to you and thank you for posting and sharing your experience, Lisette! It helps us all!

  48. Leah says:

    I am glad I found this article. I have a coworker who I avoided for 2 years because I felt an unexplained energy pull. If he was upset or angry when I was around, I would feel the same. When he was happy I was happy. This exchange of energy continues to this day. Only now, I don’t avoid him. I am intrigued because I have grown to care deeply about him and he has said the same. I am pretty sure we are connected and possibly from a past life.

  49. Mimi B says:

    Hi Lianne,
    I love this article. Thus explained alot of things about past lives and relationships that I didn’t know. I was just thinking to myself that I must of had many lovers in my past lives as I seem to attract and be attracted not just physically, sexualy but on a deeper level with manyen and a few women. These are people that I have a deeper connection to. I’ve always wanted to meet with a physic or medium to see what they see.

    Thanks again for this great article!


  50. Yvette Moore says:

    Hello Lianne. Here’s my two cents! I’m being flippant, but its knocked me for a loop. I’ve felt ao deep connection with a man I never met in this life (although I was aware of him) who passed fifteen years ago. I feel sure we’ve been together before, although in this life he had a wife and three children. I asked my daughter to find a song I loved, that he sang. A dam of grief broke and I was a mess for… well, I’m still grieving. He brought huge change to my life though. Helped me start writing, brought me back to music, awakened enormous passion and I found his Buddhist teacher, from whom I’m now learning online. He’s taken me back to who I was and I love him with such deep, abiding and unconditional love, I’ve never felt such joy and pain all at once. I feel sure we’ve been together before, there has been such ‘energetic’ passion again, I’ve never felt anything like it. He brought me the message avnd now he’s gone, leaving me bereft yet again. Any thoughts? Many thanks.

    • So beautiful, Yvette. Love knows no boundaries, not even those of so-called death, because truly there is no death.

      But I want you all to know that we have many such “polarities” — friends developed over the course of many lifetimes, in a wide variety of relationships with that same soul. For instance, in one life you might be just friends, another siblings, yet another parent and child, and maybe another same gender, and another opposite genders who experience a more traditional “love” relationship, romantically speaking, and perhaps in the case of your inspiring friend, a situation of teacher and student. And yet there are other lifetimes where you drop into each other’s lives only for a brief time, adding a helping hand to one another, helping each other move ahead along the pathway. Or in your case, toget back on the pathway you’d set for yourself when you had fallen off a bit. These are the relationships we treasure, the ones that build and grow, from lifetime to lifetime.

      People who are so caught up looking for their “one true soulmate” are missing the point. We have many such soul friends, and I call them polarities. That is because the energy flows between you like electricity, back and forth, as the charge-discharge oscillates from one polarity to the other, reverses, and flows back again. Just as in an electrical circuit. The net result is that you build up a charge or pool of useful energy between you, from which each of you can draw for strength to power your lives. Two who oscillate together like this can go much further in the world than two who stand as solitary individuals. This kind of polarity relationship can definitely occur when the two are of unequal spiritual development, as between guru and devotee, or spirit guide and earth dweller. But it is also particularly beautiful between two who function as equals in the same dimension, at the same time.

      Fortunately, we make these polarity relationships often in work and life. Some last for a project; some last a lifetime; some for many lives, as you have described. Sometimes one of us is in the higher worlds and the other is on Earth, and the one in the higher worlds can radiate their love through the dimensions to aid and encourage — but never interfere in the Earth life! That life is our precious own to live as we choose, and thus learn by our choices. So it would be wrong for anyone to interfere in our right to choose for ourselves, no matter how much more developed they may be mentally and spiritually. Yet they can and do “cheer us along from the sidelines,” so to speak, and drop hints now and then. 🙂

      Sorry I’ve rambled on, but you inspired me, Yvette, with your touching example of a constructive polarity relationship. Yes, partings are sad–but aren’t you fortunate to have experienced this kind of inspirational connection! That relationship is infinite and eternal. You will cross paths with him again! Try to use your experience as an example by which to treat others, and to find others who treat you as well. Thus you build many positive polarity friendships, all of which serve, not only the two of you, but the world as a whole when you radiate this love oscillation out into the ethers. A beautiful story, yours is. Congratulations! Love knows no bounds — Lianne

      • Yvette Moore says:

        Thank you so, so much for this. And you’re right. I’m truly blessed both to have his music from life and his teaching from the other world. Lovingkindness to all beings is a basic tenet of Buddhism, and from what I can gather of his too short life this time around, something he practiced on a daily basis. Better to have loved and lost! Next time maybe 🙂 It’s funny. One of the albums he sings on (although this isn’t one he actually sings) is a song whose lines include, the time and place isn’t right for you and me here and now, but don’t despair, there will be one day, don’t lower your expectations, there are no limitations. It would seem not!

        Once it played (track 3) at 3.30 and another time it flipped onto it randomly (and it wasn’t on shuffle!)

        I have only mentioned this to one other person and a couple of metaphysics/spirituality blogs and the friend, may she always be blessed, while open, thinks of this as ‘well, what matters is that you believe it’. Sometimes you need a little validation though. The immediacy of the connection was like switching on an electric light and the intensity was at times frightening, but the feeling he left me with was warm and comfortable. He’s brought me so much. I think that’s why I’m hurting so badly now. However, I’m sure we’ll be together again, eternity is a long time 🙂 He waited fifty years for the first contact this life, I hope he doesn’t wait another fifty for the next one! In the meantime I will honour his love by learning the lessons and practicing them for the benefit of everyone I meet. I guess that’s the best thing I can do.

        Thank you again, Lianne. You truly are a lightworker x

  51. Jessica says:

    Hi, Lianne
    I’m really confused, I really like your article. It actually helped me a lot understand things. But I’m not sure of this one thing. Well here goes nothing.
    Around 4 years ago I meet this boy at the time playing soccer. I’ve never payed attention to him I didn’t even notice him at first. Even when he gave me and my sister a ride back home from a game, I didn’t pay attention to who he was. After that he sent me friend request on fb and I asked someone who also plays soccer with us at the time who he was. I’m not the type of person to just add anyone on my fb account. My friend explain and I was like oh okay. So I accepted him but when he had messaged me I felt a sort of emotions come back to me. I didn’t understand it than and I really didn’t play attention to it. So I ignored it . We got really close with each other nothing physical . I wanna say emotional and spiritual. He had admitted to liking me a couple months later but my father Is very strict.
    Going to my freshman year in highschool I had moved to go live with my mother (whom wasn’t in my life till my freshman year). The day before, me and my father got in to a bad argument. He took my phone away, so I had no way of tellin the boy that I was leaving. We went months with out talking but when I got a hold of fb he told me how much he missed me and how worried he was. Even after those months I never lost feelings for him. Even when I had a boyfriend. I always thought of him. And same with him, he would always tell me how he feels even if he had a partner. But we couldn’t be nothing more because the age difference. Every time I would see him I would get a rush of emotions. He of course became my bestfriend. I told him everything and we were always together. He brought happiness to my life I don’t know where I’ll be if he didn’t guide me.
    My sophomore year we lost touch again. But we would always talk like nothing happen. I would still had feelings for him and he had feelings for me. We talked about giving it a try. But he would go out and party and he didn’t think it would be fair and he told me he didn’t want to hurt me. Because when he would go out to clubs he would drink and he doesn’t know what he would do. He would call me drunk and tell me how he feels and text me as well . I was always the one person he would call drunk. So I didn’t work, and it hurt me. He told me he does have feelings for me he just didn’t want to hurt me and he how he wanted to take me out and have fun; but again my father is very strict. My sister would me that we argue like a married couple. And we did. But he got with this girl again from my freshman year. And I didn’t like her . I felt some connection, like I hated her without knowing her. And I just got mad when I found out that he was with her again. But they broke up and I was single at the time as well and we meet up and we had a kiss for the first time . And In that kiss I felt like he was holding back his passion. I felt love. But he didn’t want to show it . And than a couple months later he got back with her again. I disapproved but it was his desicion.
    Junior year he had told me that his going to be a father and I was happy but inside I dying. I remember crying. And he called me and told me that not matter what he’ll always be my best friend and that nothing is gonna stop him. Even when he has a family. It hurted so much, when he told me that he was gonna marry her. But he told me that he still has feelings for me and that it is never going away no matter how much months we go from talking it could be years but I’ll alway be In his mind. And that he would be there for me when ever. But I was with someone and I didn’t feel right expressing my self to him about my feelings but he knew how I felt about him. And than he stop talking to me.
    Now it’s been a year since talked to him and I’m still with the guy from last year. He doesn’t know that I had feelings for my best friend. But he does know of him. And to this day I can feel that are hearts are still connected. But how can I love two people at the same time. I still feel hurt from everything that happened with me and him. I feel like if I see him I would break down and cry.
    You know that song “The one that got away” by Katty Perry? He was the first person that came to my mind when I first heard it. To this day I still have feelings for him . I know we were meant for each other. I know it. I feel it in my heart. But he has his family, even doe she is just using him and keeping him from leaving. And I have my life falling into place but I feel like something is missing. At time I would have dreams about him, but when I would wake up I couldn’t remember them. I would feel like they’re messages from him to me. Please help. Thanks, I really want to understand this.

    • Hmmmm … I have been pondering this comment for a while now. I don’t see a question here, really, Jessica. I see you going through what (you’re not going to like this) we all go through in life, the confusion of youth, the confusion of such strong feelings, but inappropriate relationships, and so on. I even suspect that by the time you read my reply, your heart might have moved on.

      I hope that my article gives you some insight into the fact that we live so many lifetimes, and have so many relationships with people of all kinds, it is nearly impossible to pass through a day (if not entirely impossible) without contacting someone we have known in prior lives. Since we can’t “be with,” in a romantic sense, all of these people in one lifetime, in most cultures we choose the one from whom we will learn the most. That’s what I said: we choose the learning situation. The nature of that relationship will tell you something about where you are on the pathway of spiritual development. Because in my understanding of the universe, that is the entire purpose for reincarnating on Earth: to learn a better way to live.

      Clearly, you and this boy had different agendas that you had chosen as your priority for the present lifetime before you were born. You’ve said so yourself–you already have another boyfriend; he already impregnated another woman. And so you have chosen. Do your best on the path you’ve selected! What you do now, will inform your life in the future, ALL of your lifetimes! Choose the people you associate with carefully. Make sure they bring good into that life, for again, your response to them will create the quality of your future. It is entirely possible that this boy would not have brought to you the goodness that your own higher self has mandated for your present lifetime, even if he seems familiar from past lives. Some of your description of his problems indicates that he would have been “trouble” for you.

      Once you get accustomed to the idea that we have known so many of our friends and family previously, it is much easier to put out-of-place feelings in the present life into their proper perspective. They diminish in tugging at our emotions. Of course, if the connection is a positive one, then this knowledge of past life connections can enrich it. But if it brings sadness and grief, the knowledge that much of that emotion floods into our minds from the past helps us to step away and separate in the present when we need to. I hope this helps you understand, as you said you wished to. Much love to you! Lianne

  52. Noah says:


    I first met this guy over ten years ago when we were in our late twenties. I had a dream about the same time wherein we had been friends lovers because we run into eachother and he shows me he is attracted to me. Based on the dream, and I cant believe I am saying this, I actually gave him the come on back then. We were single but we had differences in our background which did not allow us to get together. I pulled back. He acted out. And we carried on with our lives. Every few years he would reach out and whenever the chips have been down for me I have reached out but there has never been any romantic feelings from my side. I think he has also reached out not because of romantic feelings but because he has always felt like I am doing something to attract him. However we have never since that time 10-15 years ago been intimate. We have met 2 times since as acquaintances and spoken maybe 3 times. Never any emotional overtures made. Few weeks ago, in the middle of soul work I have been doing and avoiding people in general, he reaches out and I met him. It just felt like normal and I had no idea why he wanted to meet but I thought it would be courteous to. This time he talks about personal things some of which move me immensely. Again I am in the midst of taking care of some intense psychological pain I am in but overall really happy which he really liked. It seems like he needed that energy reflected to him. Few days later I have another dream with some clear past life markers and even in this dream we are doing a courtship dance. I am taken real anack though because I am then compelled to be there for this person and its been few weeks and we dont even live in the same city but an emotional connection has taken place. We will now meet in a few days. I am getting prepared in my mind to make some sacrifices if we are indeed to be together. I also believe he is tuned in and has some spiritual guidance because he is also quite clear. Again we have not discussed this at all. We have only started to build a little bit. I go back to my conversations with a partner I parted ways with 2-3 years ago and how hard the breakup was, how utterly useless, how avoidable, however he never took a step towards reconciliation and I had often told him I never once felt with him that we would want to come back into another lifetime and be together, in the best of our times. And now it all makes a little bit of sense as I learned a lot of emotional control in that relationship and it helps me now. My question is Lianne, what if things dont work out with this person who I think may actually be my soulmate ? We have big adjustments ahead. It is a far from perfect person. We are far from perfect for eachother. But I know like he is my friend, I know him, in the here and now. I have tolerance towards him. I have had to forego what I have always thought my twinflame when I was 19-20. I have never really thought anyone could take his place and it is true. No one can. His removal from my life was like someone taking half of my life from me. We were like two halves of the same book where one would end another would begin. I have had relationships since, I am not celibate either. But I have never taken those relationhips far. The recent break ups have been stormy as a rule. Unlike the cool me. I have literally created drama. Now it is all making sense but what if this is another mistake ? Will I also have to give up on my soul mate ? Does it happen with people ? Do they lose so much love ongoing ? Thanks for helping me with building some perspective.

    • I have left this reply lingering for so long that I wonder if the author of this comment has already made her choice? (I am assuming it is written by a she, although the name here is Noah, typically a man’s name in English. Perhaps gender doesn’t matter? So forgive me if I’ve got it wrong.) At this stage, I want to direct her to my reply to Jessica, just posted. Please read it!

      The most important point you are missing, Noah, is that, and I want to put this in bold letters, most people are confused with this idea of pursuing one “soul mate” or “twin flame.” If you do have one at all, that is, if you have developed that advanced spiritual development of a true “soul mate,” it is likely that you will not incarnate together on Earth at the same time.

      I know it’s very popular for some writers to get people all excited by using these terms, but romantic relationships and inter-personal relationships of all kinds are so marred by this misconception! I should be using my time to work on my book on this subject, rather than piece by piece coaching each of you through this confusion. 🙂 But I can’t help it; my heart goes out to all of you, since it’s not your fault that you’ve been led astray by this.

      Please, Noah, if you are reading these words, do not let that confusion limit your experiences. Start to think of your relationships with others on a continuum that goes from life to life. Some of these people you’ve known longer than others, in an evolutionary sense. With some of them, you’ve had fights and anger and imbalances from the past that come around in the present life in cyclic patterns, unexpectedly. You have more in common with some than with others. With the ones that “got away,” you may fantasize a happier connection than reality might provide, because it’s easy to imagine happiness when not faced with day-to-day challenges and those old arguments that surface from the past without warning. In every case, good and bad, it truly helps to remember that this can occur, that present feelings are so often compounded and magnified unreasonably by past-life residue–ancient feuds and imbalances, broken hearts, and guilty consciences. Happens to us all!

      We simply must not hold grudges, must find a way to repair our frequently (if you look at all those lifetimes!) broken hearts, and must seek to look upon our fellow beings as sparks of Infinite Creative Intelligence, who, just like us, wish only to experience infinite love. If we can give each other a little sensation of that, then we have done well. If you keep that objective in mind, then what have you to fear? Think of how you might give, in each and every situation. And if you are not being treated with love and respect as well, then it is time to move on. I know you can do this! My very best wishes to you, wherever you may be now.

      • noah says:

        Thanks Lianne, this is so timely. I agree even if there is a feeling of other worldliness to a relationship its a lot of regular this world work. And its only love that makes us keep trying. I do not want to believe there can be more than one soul mate because they have made a pact to be there for eachother in every lifetime and they will find eachother. I would be heartbroken if I was told my one soul mate, who I may have inadvertently missed spending my lifetime with but still hold so utterly in my heart, and I may never meet again. Its sometimes the only hope one has – knowing maybe in another lifetime, better circumstances, we will. If you get down to highly idealized feelings of spiritually inclined persons your book may be richer for sharing the experience. I have dug so deep in the last few months and I cannot believe what has appeared. Never in my life have I felt like turning back the clock, never the kind of regret and hope. Never have I prayed for another lifetime just so I could be with the one I have missed. C’est la vie. May life make it easier for love.

  53. Linnea says:

    Hi, Lianne. I have been thinking about something for some time now. A few years back, I met a very young man. He is 7 years younger than me, and still I am so attracted to him. This is very strange to me. There has not been any sexual encounters or any thing, and still there feels like we have a very deep connection on a souls level. I sometimes smell him in my home, and my solar plexus chakra is burning after Ive interacted with him. I even know if im about to meet him. It is sort of like there are chords, even though nothing have happened. Now I am in a very happy relationship with my soul mate, and I really do not want to get involved with this younger man(boy). So my question for you, is if he might be a past life love? I have not experienced this sort of attraction before, and the whole thing is just strange to me. What am I recognizing?

    With Love, Linnea

  54. Radha says:

    Thank you for the article. It is very informative. I have been suffering for a few months now after faith brought me to someone I must have loved deeply. I have not seen him in the flesh and he is much much younger. We are just friends but I have very strong feelings for him and even though I know I will never be with him because of his age, it hurts. Like I am not even attracted to him but on a soul level I feel sad all the time. Is there a way for me to cut that cord. I would like to end the communications. It is way too intense and emotionally draining. Thank you.

    • Hello Radha– Your comment has confused me. Can you explain more? Is this someone you met on the Internet? I don’t understand the connection in the present lifetime, or the reasons you feel restricted. Thank you for reading and commenting, though, and I hope you will clarify for us.

      • Radha says:

        Yes I did meet on Internet. But it is not like a dating site. It is more like a FB group. We have become very close in no time.
        It is not at all a romantic relationship but I feel that there is for sure some past life connection and attachments.
        I feel as though I have known him forever.
        This is the first time that I have such strong connection and feelings for a person I have never met in my life in person.
        It all seem too irrational to me and yet it is out of my control.
        I would like to know how I can free myself form this past life ties because I feel that it is too all consuming and I would like to carry on with my own growth and life.
        I have a hard time letting go of the attachment.
        I hope that it is more clear.

        • Any time you feel strong, especially inappropriate or unwanted, emotions toward a person, place, or thing, you can be assured you have encountered some past life connection. This is also true if you “have a hard time letting go,” if you feel that is what you must do.

          Generally speaking, if you can recognize that these things are coming from past life associations, then you should have an easier time using your willpower to put it “out of phase,” as we say, because it is an energetic connection. You are not “out of control.” You are completely in control, and you must recognize that. Usually, knowing that that the emotion is coming from your past, not your present, helps take the strength from it.

          But sometimes, we have conflicting feelings. If a part of you is having trouble letting go, then perhaps that part of you does not wish to. Only you can solve this dilemma within yourself. You must sit with yourself and make a clear decision.

          • Radha says:

            Thank you very much for your answer. I was able to finally let go. I feel better now. Still miss the person time to time but it is better than being so attached and obsessed.
            I guess the short encounter served its purpose and I learned a few lessons.

  55. Sherrie says:

    Lianne I already consider you as my soul sister and fairy god mother and without your encouragement and help i dont know where i would have landed up
    I just got promoted to 11th grade and I have started going to a new school and i really like it out there ..i have made loads of new friends and its fun but there are still moments when I cry thinking about Rafiq ..if he was alive he would also have studying in the 11th grade now doing all sorts of things an 11th grader is supposed to do..idk why but i feel so guilty at times when i am having too much fun..its like if rafiq couldnt do this even i should stop doing this .Sometimes i try to imagine myself as a twenty year old and i wonder if my feelings for Rafiq would change.I met a really nice guy at my new school,whom i really find some kind of resemblance with rafiq though not physically.i dont know what rafiq was like but whatever i had heard about him from his cousins and friends ,i had kind of picturised what Rafiq was like.And this new guy totally fits into that picture .Do you think i will stop have feelings for Rafiq? Is meeting this new guy a sign or something ?idk :-/ I really needed you in person now..

    • Hello and I am so sorry your comment got lost in the rush here! I wonder now if you are still having the same feelings, as it is now about two weeks later. I remember glancing at your message and thinking I must reply and then my own world got very busy. But somewhere in the back of my mind I heard your “voice” in this message and I asked my husband, “Did I answer that?” He said no. Well … let’s see what I come up with now that I am here.

      First of all, maybe it was a good thing I didn’t reply instantly. I want you to start to use that strong inner self you have, your own intuition and knowing and your connection to the Universe, and that big heart of yours, to rely upon. They will always always always guide you better than any fairy godmother (although I am flattered)! 🙂 Trust yourself, dear. You are very strong. Strong enough to still have feelings for Rafiq, always, and yet to fall in love with others in your life. You can “fall in love” many times over! One day, I hope you meet a good partner who is strong as you are, in heart and soul, and you will make good companions for one another.

      But meanwhile, think of your heart as a vessel for energy that flows into it continuously from Higher Realms — Spiritual love, if you will. That is the Force of Life. Keep in touch with that never-ending supply of LOVE that keeps your heart beating. Then you will never run out!

      I’m afraid you are hearing what I failed to say to a friend yesterday. He described his heart as a limited supply, a solid object that he didn’t want to chip too many pieces from by getting too hurt. But I disagree with his philosophy. Life is like that — to experience it, you have to be willing to get a few scrapes and bruises, like when you’re a kid learning to do new things. As you get older, it starts to be relationships with people (even those no longer living, apparently!) that give you some nicks and bruises. But the supply of Life Energy and Love flowing into that heart is endless, as long as we keep sharing it with others.

      So you don’t need to choose between Rafiq or the new guy you’ve met. Of course you want to maintain self-respect and not spread yourself around to just any old person — to become a “loose woman” — but I don’t think you’re in danger of that. We are talking about knowing that you cannot have a physical relationship with Rafiq this time around, and knowing that he would want you to enjoy your life as much as possible! Of course that’s what he would want! Just because his life was short, doesn’t mean he won’t be coming back again to try again and when he does, wouldn’t you want the same for him? To live it to the fullest? Of course you would! So realize that by living your life, you will make him happy. And life means meeting new friends, male and female, and new experiences, and gaining the gems of golden wisdom from each and every thing you experience, no matter what happens. Much love to you!! Hope my reply wasn't too late! 🙂

  56. Pingback: 5 Ways to Fix an Unhappy Past Life Relationship • Soul Pursuits

  57. Lucy says:


    I really hope you don’t mind me writing to you. What a fantastic article first… I wish more people were open to this. So thank you for sharing.

    I have a heck if a predicament and no one I know seems to get it or think I’m just a bit m!my partner and I knew each other in a past life. I am so sure of it. We’ve very rarely brushed the subject but find it hard to talk about. We broke up a few times because our lives of today don’t really fit… I think it’s the same problem we perhaps had In a previous life. Well after over a year of not talking I seemed to fall more in love with him without even communicating. We got back together and this was 5 years ago. The problem is we still have the same inherent issues.I’m very social and he is not. And compromise is proving hard for both of us we bicker a lot and have definitely lost that spark we had for so many years. We are both trying to get it back but it’s proving impossible.

    The thing is I’m too scared to leave incase I regret it.if we are soul mates how do you ever end that bond? I feel like I can’t be happy without him (spiritually). Yet his control and my carefree personalities constantly fight. I just don’t know what to do or who to turn to.

    • Here’s your clue, Lucy:
      “I seemed to fall more in love with him without even communicating.”

      What you fell in love with wasn’t the man himself, as he exists in the present life. You “fell in love” with an idea, a memory of what he was in the past. Right? You weren’t in touch with the real man, only with your own thoughts. The person you think you love does not exist in the present day. You said so yourself. And this is a very common error that people make, so don’t feel bad about it. It also leads to the kind of confusion and conflict you have described.

      The fact is, we must move forward in our evolutionary trek from life to life. We would not even wish to remain the same people we were in the past! So you must let each other go free in a certain way; you must give yourselves room to grow and change and improve. That means you won’t necessarily be as compatible as you once might have been, in a prior life or lifetimes, or even years ago in the present.

      You are not soul mates. That concept has been much confused, but from your description I can tell you that you are not. So stop worrying about breaking a “sacred bond”! The only “sacred” aspect of our bonds with others has to do with the fact that they follow universal principles of energy that are undeniable and function interdimensionally, throughout all life expressions. Those energy principles are Infinite Intelligence in action.

      “I feel like I can’t be happy without him (spiritually).” So you say. But are you happy, spiritually or otherwise, with him? And is he happy with you? It doesn’t sound like you are! I think what you really fear is that you will be alone if you leave him. Very unlikely! If you allow yourself to live a happy life, free of conflict and distress, you will be so attractive to so many people, it’s not likely that you will remain alone. The key is allowing yourself to make the decisions to make your life a happy one, whatever that takes. So if the two of you can’t find happiness together, what are you doing? Why do you remain together? It sounds as if you are simply replaying an old record, over and over again, and it has gotten very scratchy and irritating, and if you want to talk about your spiritual life, that certainly doesn’t sound like the kind of progressive growth a soul needs to thrive spiritually.

      One thing about past-life relationships you might have missed from my article: They are not static. Our goal is to improve continuously, and that includes not reliving the past constantly (or trying to recreate it) but finding new ways to update our thinking and our methods. If you had a broken appliance, say a kitchen blender, would you keep trying to make it work? Or would you throw it out, realizing that it no longer worked for you? If you couldn’t find a repair person to fix it, that is, or if replacing a part didn’t do the trick. So if a misunderstanding about being “soul mates” is what’s holding you back and making you think you MUST remain in unhappiness, then I hope I’ve helped in that regard.

      One more thing. It is your obligation to the rest of the world to find the best, most constructive, healthiest, and happiest way to live on this planet. In that way, you are adding to the beauty of this world, enhancing the very best of it with your personal energy. You are also setting free anyone who might also feel trapped, and thereby helping them to achieve their best life. Trying to remain bonded to the past, an old memory of who and what you were, is not going to help either of you. If you cannot find compatibility in your present life, in the current reality, that means you have both outgrown your need to remain together. Set yourselves free! But if you do truly love who you both are now, and it’s mutual, and you have respect for one another and balanced give and take, then stay right where you are.

      • Oops, and one more thing (you’ve asked about such a common problem, I am going on extensively as much for your benefit as for others, so please bear with me):
        We all live many, many lifetimes, so we all have many, many old friends from prior lives. If you’ve identified this with one person, it does not mean that he is the one and ONLY man you have ever known in prior lives. I am wondering if that’s why you thought he must be your “soul mate”? If so, please be assured you have many other past life lovers, friends, and enemies out in the big wide world. Hope this helps! My very best wishes to you, and I’m sure you’re going to sort it all out very quickly now. 🙂 Love, Lianne

        • Michelle hidalgo says:

          Hi Lianne,

          I really need your help. I’m going through a lot now and I feel very strong connection between my two best gay friends and I. I’m a straight girl who has two besties John and Mike ( hiding names for privacy) however john I’ve known since I was in high school and after school he met Mike. Mike and I met about five years ago however just got close in the last year. John and I used to live together and were best friends and even though he’s gay, I’m only girl he has slept with since we did that when we were 21. I thought I can’t sleep with a gay man however some reason we just did.

          Mike and I never noticed each other back then but we only met once. Mike and John both had previous same experiences as kids, they had rough upbringing and were both molested by their uncle at the same age. They also kinda look alike and act alike. People always said john and i looked alike and now they say Mike and I look alike and we say same things at the same time. People think we are all related. They have to be from past life, I wish I knew but I think we were siblings. Mike and I have strong relationship but he’s gay but he’s so attracted to me. I could write pages how much he stares at me and protects me and teases and flirts. He wants to sleep with me. Maybe from their past they are just sexual however it’s me that they are attracted to. I have some psychic connection with Mike like he’s my twin flame and we are the same person. Many times when he calls I know he is going to call. One time I was sleeping and something told me he was calling and I woke up and there were missed calls from
          Him or one time I emptied trash and it was late and he never calls so late during the week and i thought man I wish he would just stop over randomly then I go inside and there’s two missed calls from him. I only have this with him and its constant. The craziest thing is that I’m attracted to him and I fantasize about us. In my fantasies i imagine what I would want him to say and every time i see him he flirts with me how i played it out in my fantasy and says what i wanted. I played this song over and over for months and it’s an old song and one day he post same song on his Facebook and he’s younger and its a really old song that no one esp his age posts.

          • Michelle, this post is giving me a strong sense of deja vu. Have you posted it before? Or do you have a double out there somewhere? If you scroll through this thread for a similar story, I believe you will find your answer, although I’m not sure you asked a question. ???

  58. Denise L. Johnson says:

    Dear Lianne,

    I have a few questions. Both Mike and I were two single divorced parents with him having his own son and I with my three adult children when we got acquainted with each other on the phone. Last year, I think it was on December 5, 2014 Mike passed away and I felt sad and really missed him. I last seen him and only visit with him (Mike) a few days in the summer of 2003 (Can’t remember which month), it was my first and last time that I’ve ever met and spend little time with him in person. I flew to Colorado to see him from leaving Las Vegas,NV since I was vacationing with visiting my sister. I lived in Oahu, Hawaii. I was nervous and excited to meet with him in person for the first time after talking long distance with him on phone for 3 yrs, we met through the yahoo chatroom on the internet. I know I’m suppose to let go of him, but I kept feeling these regretful feelings of not allowing for both of us to have the chance to be and live together when he offered for me to stay/live with him. All because of my religious beliefs that held me back from feeling guilty of “what is not right and what is wrong” according to our moral standards of “having to be married first before living together. I really wish that I had allowed my own free agency of choice from my heart rather then with my mind of conditioned/programmed beliefs. He felt that it would have been wise to get to know each other first before making marriage commitments. We really enjoyed each other’s company on the phone alot, with a funny sense of humor and expressing our feelings about how we felt, we laughed, we expressed ourselves with subjects we talked about and shared etc. I tried hard not to fall into physical contacts with him by staying distance away from him (for 3 yrs on the phone), but when we met in person finally…we ended up being physically attracted to each other and did ended up “loosing control and for those moments my religious beliefs of high standards went out the door” anyway like a fool I went back into my conditioned beliefs again and told him I might be punished, and he felt guilty…and said “we shouldn’t have done that.” I went back to Hawaii, after flying back to Neveda from visiting my sister and have never seen him in person again eversince, but he and I kept in touch on the phone for another year or two until one day he asked me if I ever wanted to live with him, I told him I really would like that, but we should get married first. He preferred his way of “getting to know each other first BEFORE marriage and then….” I told him no, if it’s with that condition, he was sad and said he was hurt, but we kept being friends on the phone until one day he moved on with his life, met some one else and got married. I was very hurt and sad, but had to except the fact that with respect of his free agency of course. It seems that we always had a connection no matter what, I always felt his energy through long distance even when we coudn’t be in touch anymore since he got married. He still would check for my emails to him on sharing inspirational messages and then one day I told him of how much I appreciated and love him. And naturally of course it’s understandable (if I was in his wife’s place) she caught my email to him, when he fell asleep on the computer in front of him, she caught the email and told me to “back off!” He and I was stilll laughing and cracking humorous jokes about Hawaii and their pidgeon languages etc….that his wife told him “no more, to be intouch with me!” I felt his sadness as well as mines to have to NOT be in contact with each other anymore…even if it’s only friends, not even that. I also met his son who was same age as my son, and met his son in person too, his son likes me alot and respected me when I was there for those short few days, the son still keeps in touch with me only through facebook, once in a great while. Through that, that is how I learned that his father had just passed away and I still missed him and loved him. Maybe it’s my regretful choice of why I’m having a hard time of letting go. I emailed to his wife only once and never bothered her or to be in contact with them again–I shared with her of how much I felt sorry for his passing and that I know that he loves her very much and is a very good man, and also that I comfort her by saying that she will see him again soon. I never bothered her (them) anymore and left it as that. I went to see a psychic to asked about Mike, and wondered how he was doing on the other side. The psychic mentioned that he and I was both married before in another life previously and that we also had a child together. That’s all I knew according to her, and she told me that I made the same mistake again of letting other beliefs or programmings getting in the way of our decisions from remaining together or being together in that life of why we ended up getting up either a divorce or separation, I wish to never repeat this same mistake again, and this time to make a decisions for my happiness or his and my happiness together rather then feeling guilty because of my beliefs. I even talked with him and wrote him a letter of how I felt regretful and told him all exactly of my expressions/feelings and said that I know I must and should and willl have to “let go off him from my heart.” My psychic told me to write him a letter and then tell him that (I) you will let him go. I don’t think I completely released him yet. And yet, I have no interest of having anyone or another man in my life, I seems to be okay by just being single. Might you have any thing to tell me? Might there be a possibility of he and I meeting again in the next life? If so, I don’t want to repeat that mistake again. I’m open to your advice and thank you for your patience with me and for your time to reply back to me. Looking forward to hear from you. Aloha, Denise

    • Aloha, Denise! Thank you so much for sharing this entire story with us, in so much detail that we can more fully understand what you and Mike have gone through. This is why we live consecutive lifetimes–because some of the lessons we learn (probably the most important ones!) do take many tries before we conclude them to our own satisfaction. We learn the hard way! Don’t be too harsh with yourself over mistakes you have made; those mistakes are like precious jewels, when you look at the long stream of your continuous life/consciousness, because they represent hard-earned wisdom!

      You will most certainly have the opportunity to make arrangements with Mike for another try in the future! Because you desire it, and it sounds like he will, too. You won’t have any problem finding each other between lives, of that I am confident. It’s all a matter of how important you consider this to be in your personal, evolutionary growth. We often make such agreements with others to meet again, on Earth, to resolve certain issues we’ve left unfinished. 🙂 You can’t change the past, but you can definitely plan for a better future. It sounds like, you have already changed your ideas, placing personal growth and happiness over some dogmatic theory or belief system, which is only someone else’s interpretation of how others should live. In truth, we only have ourselves to determine “right” from “wrong,” both on this Earth and when we go over to the other side. That is how we “ignite” the dormant divinity within us, the part of the Infinite that flows into and makes us who we are: we activate this Energy by living and experiencing and accumulating wisdom.

      What you’ve encountered in your present life is one of the most challenging and difficult shifts in belief that people on this planet can face: the difference between following some rote belief system or religion (which might seem easier to do at first), where you are told what to do, versus learning that you are your own master, and must steer your own ship through the Cosmos–free of guilt and influence and persuasion from external forces (which can seem very difficult at first). With no easy “system” to tell you how to live, you must consider and make your own choices. Agh! And deal with the consequences of those choices. Yikes! That’s tough! 🙂 But it is a huge evolutionary leap forward for you! And for Mike, who has shared in this lesson with you. He, too, was stuck in an idea that kept him from compromising his ideas in order to meet somewhere in the middle with yours. The rigidity you both displayed in this situation might have meant you’d run into further trouble together, sooner or later. Because a healthy partnership in life requires mutual respect, shared goals, and balanced give-and-take. As wonderful as your communications and experiences together were, sooner or later, you might have hit a snag–with neither of you willing to bend.

      This ability to compromise, to see the other person’s perspective and learn from it, and to find common ground in the middle–those are skills that any couple needs to remain happy together for any length of time. So count that as yet another lesson you have gained from the relationship you did share with Mike during his lifetime! Dare I say that if you wish to stop being single in the meantime, for the remainder of your years on earth, consider that compromise might be a new thing for you to try when next you meet a man whose company you enjoy. As long as you are both willing to bend when needed, you’ll have a much better balance in your relationship!

      Past lives? Yes, you probably knew one another before, which is how you got into this situation to begin with. Future lives? That will be up to you! Learn all you can in the present, then, so that you will be well practiced and prepared for any and all future relationships. Practice makes perfect! 🙂 Love to you in all your future lives — Lianne

      P.S. No, I do not feel as if Mike lingers in your aura or energy field; not him per se, but only as a thought form you have created. Do try to let that go, because you can perfect a fantasy being of that nature and that distortion will not serve you well in your present endeavors. Try to stay grounded in the present life, take what you’ve learned out into the world, and apply it with everyone, man or woman, whom you meet.

      • Denise L. Johnson says:

        Hi Lianne,

        Thank you for your encouragement and advices. Sometimes I wish I could visit my deceased love ones, my mom, dad, grandparents and to visit or see how Mike/or all of them are doing. I imagine of how they are so much happier at peace without any stress or negative experiences like here. I know that they can communicate telepathically on the other side, and also could understand us more so now (meaning for those of us still here in living in this earthly life/plane) and are more knowledgeable of what they “now know.” I know they’re more compassionate and understanding (then before they left this plane/earthly life). I have some inkling idea of what it’s probably like on the other side.
        I have a question? You mentioned that Mike and I won’t have any problems in finding each other in between lives. I’m not sure what that means “between lives”, could you explain that to me if you don’t mind? I wish I had the ability to go and visit other planes, like seeing my love ones who have passed on, maybe I ought to learn medium skills perhaps. I have multiple interest in many things I would like and love to learn. Would like to increase my psychic abilities, to improve on my arts, drawing and to learn painting. I also have great interest in learning and sharing with others about natural healing. I also enjoy outdoor gardening work, to grow my own fresh produce, organically to eat healthy. Working with joy, in what we enjoy doing and helping people at the same time makes me happy. I brought different sets of cards for myself to read for inspired messages and answers. Either angel guidance cards, past lives cards, and tarot cards. I do use a pendulum sometimes, when I want to talk (communicate) and asked my mom, dad or Mike a question, or an angel or God. I know that I can also choose to pray to God without using the pendulum of course. But that’s the nearest or only way of how I can talk them (my deceased love ones) I rarely do, but once in a great while I write a letter to them or put it on their grave or just leave on my table at home for them to read. Sometimes when I asked my parents to come visit me in my dreams, sometimes they do and not always do they come. But when they do, I notice that in my dreams they communicate with me telepathically when they have a message to tell/share with me, and I can understand them without any words spoken. Communicating with our minds instead of our mouth. If you have any other suggestions to share with me in addition on how I could communicate with them better, let me know. Again thank you Lianne for taking the time to reply back to me. Aloha, Denise 🙂

        • Those are all such lovely aspirations, Denise! If you wish it, you will be able to make them come true. And I can’t think of a better way for you to learn of the “between lives” you asked about than through some books that have influenced me and taught me all that I know about all of the subjects you mention. That would be the writings of Ernest L. Norman (1904-1971) which I mention so often. He is largely unknown, a visionary scientist/philosopher who left 16 volumes behind on this planet. I never met him, but I met his books in 1975 and have never looked back! I still read them, in fact, and they continue to enrich my life with new knowledge.

          I would recommend his “Pulse of Creation” series first, because these 5 books describe the higher planes we can travel to and in fact introduce the whole concept of what goes on between lifetimes, and explain about the hierarchy of evolutionary development that individuals might express on the other side — from such as you and me, on up through the higher echelons of mental/spiritual development. When you read these books, you are introduced to beautiful Beings who can guide your explorations on the other side, and even help your loved ones in their own journeys, through this connection and association. The first book in that series is called The Voice of Venus and I suggest starting there!

          Another alternative is to read my novel Cosmic Dancer, in which my primary character spends some time with her spiritual teachers in those same worlds of Light/Energy–in her sleep state, and between lifetimes. It’s a shortcut introduction to those places. My nonfiction book, Speed Your Evolution, would help you develop your “medium skills” and give you guidance about pitfalls to avoid and how to go about it, including how to validate the information you receive.

          Another source for learning about the seven planes Ernest Norman describes in his books would be the works of Emanuel Swedenborg, although he wrote in the 18th century in a very religious way, and his works have since inspired a more religious approach to the topic. I have not read them, but have known of them through other sources and followers of the modern versions of his work.

          I wish you many good things, Denise! You have a fine and questing mind. Never give up on your desires to improve and grow and learn and create! 🙂

  59. Gabby says:

    Hello Lianne,

    I have a a few questions. I have this person that I feel connected too. I can’t remember ever meeting her,but for some reason,I feel like her name is Sarah. I can kind of ‘see’ her and I have this weird feeling at randoms times that something has happened to her. It’s very strange and I can’t tell if I’m just going crazy,or it’s real.

    Another thing is,I’ve always wanted to go to Brazil and create this ‘imaginary friend’ of sorts that had a certain hair style and liked a bunch of random things I would never usually think of when I was about 8. But a few months ago(I’m 13 now), that EXACT girl moved in next door,from Brazil. She looked almost identical to the ‘imaginary friend’ I made up. And when I first saw her, everything just kind of…’clicked’. We’re friends and it feels a little odd to be around her,but not necessarily in a bad way. It feels as if we were close friends who hadn’t talked after a fight and she’s cool with it and forgotten,but I still remember. It’s that kinda feeling. I’m wondering if we could have known each other before,because everything seems so familiar.

    I also have a question about the ‘switching genders’ part. Is it possible to have a bit of the opposite gender mixed with your current gender, both spiritually AND physically? Because parts of my body are identical to that of a boys ‘excessive hair growth, masculine features, and a masculine build. But other parts of me are completely female, and I would really prefer to change some of those to be that of a boy’s. It’s strange,but I feel as if I’m both,in the same body and it’s comfortable, except the small parts I want to be male. Is this possible to be both genders in all aspects? I’d really like to know.

    (I have one more thing to ask about,so please bare with me.)
    The last person I want to ask about is my best friend of three years(and counting). She’s three years younger than me. We met at a block party in my grandma’s neighborhood and INSTANTLY hit it off. I wasn’t nearly shy or awkward as I usually am and it felt,like you said, like we were picking up on an old conversation. A few days later, we moved into my grandma’s house and I had this nagging feeling to go over to the girl’s house,and I never really do that,but it was such a strong pull that I did anyways and,the rest is history. Except the connection I felt at first has grown so much,I’ve fallen in love with her and want to protect her and give her everything I can. And I know she can feel the ease between us,because she only acts like that around me(I’ve seen her with her other friends,it’s honestly different and not just wishful thinking). So,I have to ask, could we(Me and the other people) have possibly known each other in a past life?

    Sincerely, Gabby S.

    • Hello Gabby! You ask such wonderful questions, and very important ones. Also, you have good sensitivity to all of these things. I want you to read an article I wrote, “Are You Gender Neutral?” about how we go from one gender to another, from life to life. It has more detail about that subject. Here’s the link:

      The person you sense, whose name might be Sarah, is she “imaginary”? Because I suspect she is very real, but someone who is contacting you mentally, perhaps someone who is now “on the other side,” as people say. She lives in an astral dimension and has associated with you in this way. When I began typing this answer to you, I think she also came to me. I want you to read through some of the Comments section here, if you can, and find the ones where I tell a reader how to help someone on the other side to find their way into the higher spiritual worlds. Sometimes, people attach to us in this way because they are lost, and maybe they knew us in a previous life and maybe they didn’t. They have died and left their bodies on earth, so they are spirits, but they are confused. They do not know how to find their way into the higher worlds, where they should enjoy their time between lives and learn and grow and meet with their loved ones — or else they are afraid to go there because they’ve been frightened by wrongful stories about “hell” and “punishment” and that sort of horrible thing. It’s not true; we are the only ones who judge ourselves. I am saying this for “Sarah’s” sake as well as yours. It might be that she feels she is “helping” you now, but she must understand, and you must help her with this, that she is not helping you by lingering in your energy field. In fact, she is missing out on where she should be, and also interfering in your life, even if she is well-intentioned. So please, Sarah, if you are reading and listening to this, please turn and see the beautiful Light Beings who are waiting to take you into their arms and into their classrooms and sparkling crystalline worlds where they can help you and answer all your questions, and where you will find the loved ones waiting for you. This will also help Gabby fulfill her own plans for the present lifetime! Then, when you meet again, if you need to, you will both be in a good place to make a better connection, in its right time and place. If you connect with Gabby again, it will be from a much better mental perspective and will not cause either of you harm.

      So I think, Gabby, that some of your issues about gender and such might be influenced by individuals who are not physically incarnated at the moment. You have a very receptive mind, and that’s a good thing. But it also means that you need to keep guard on who enters in subtly and influences your thinking. My article will also help you view the whole boy vs. girl thing in a new way. But let’s talk about that and reincarnation here for the benefit of others.

      An older soul such as yourself chooses to come into their new incarnation in a particular gender for a good reason. You see, we all live both genders in order to become well-rounded human beings, feeling all the good parts and having the wisdom that each gender can provide. Sometimes, if we’ve lived a lot of lifetimes as a man, then we will decide to incarnate as a woman so that we don’t become overbalanced to one side. That first life back in a woman’s body, which we’ve experienced before but it’s been a while, may be a bit of a stretch to feel comfortable in, after so many lives as a man. Plus, you clearly remember the individuals you have mentioned, the physical friends and neighbors, from previous lifetimes. (So that answers your question –yes, you have known these girls before!) But you might be remembering them from when you were in a man’s body in those previous lifetimes. So it can all get very confusing! 🙂 The emotions don’t really die when our bodies do! I think this answers another of your questions–you ARE both genders, and so are all of the rest of us! We carry the imprint of memories and experiences from many, countless lifetimes, and those experiences we’ve had at various times as different genders.

      I would like to suggest that, after you read my other article, you try to view some of these experiences and feelings through the lens of a person who knows she has lived before. Sort the feelings — see if you find clues to your past lives by the nature of the feelings. In our present society, the options for expressing as a different gender are quite available, but not necessarily the wisest choice for everyone who has some sense of wanting to be other than they were born. It could just be that you are feeling a little bit of resistance to taking up that full expression as female. It might be that your evolutionary, spiritual purpose in this lifetime was to experience the female gender, yet you’ve brought in a few of the physical traits of male because you had a strong bias to it. Now, you’ve put yourself in this position to try to balance out. It’s like wearing a brand new pair of shoes. You have to give yourself a little time to adjust to it. Plus, for you, you have complications because of meeting up with people you knew when you were the other gender.

      Oh boy, I am typing along and thinking this is all too confusing! 🙂 Please feel free to come back with more questions if I have confused you! Meanwhile, I will add that many of your generation do express their two genders simultaneously; they appear to be androgynous. It will be a feature of the future society, so you are definitely not alone in this. I think as a whole, the earth people are undergoing big changes in their attitudes toward such things, and also, it will help people begin to understand about their personal evolution through many lifetimes. Much love and good wishes to you! I hope I’ve helped sort things with you, or at least given you a new perspective. And thank you so much for posting your questions! I think perhaps I have raised more, so ask away if you need to.

      • Gabby says:

        Thank you for enlightening me on the gender subject. I very much enjoyed both articles. But I still have a few questions left. Since I was born,whenever I got upset or mad, I would scream ‘I want to go home’ over and over,even if I was in my own house. I still do, and none of my family has any idea why. Could this be because of another lifetime,or something in that category? As you addressed ‘Sarah’,I felt there was a presence and I have a feeling what you said helped,even if a little bit. I am a little concerned,though,about how to go about meeting/interacting with people I’ve met before with this new knowledge. It’s slightly strange now that I can pu words to feelings. Is there anyways to figure out who I was in the past so I can figure out how to fix prior mistakes in the future?
        Thank you,
        Gabby S.

        • Gabby, it is true — you are now smarter on this subject of personal evolution (the reason we live many lives) than most people! But I suspect you came into your present life already knowing these things and I am just here pricking your memory a bit. We do study between lives, many of us, preparing for our next physical incarnation and it could be that you were remembering the beauty and awesomeness of the higher world in which you had been before you were born. I describe these places in some detail in my novel, Cosmic Dancer, about a young girl of 15 who suddenly starts to remember these things. I think you might enjoy that one–it would make you feel less alone. You can read about how she handles knowing about past lives and interacting with the people in her present life. I don’t want to give away the story! That book is available on Amazon, as a paper book or an ebook. It’s a simple story, but many people say it takes them back to their most magnificent spiritual experiences between lifetimes, or wakes something up in their own present, something they’d forgotten about who they really are.

          Yes, we must let Sarah go, dear. Please continue to speak to her, if you feel her presence, and encourage her to take advantage of what awaits her that is so wonderful! As I’ve just described. Maybe if you read Cosmic Dancer, she’ll be reading over your shoulder. 🙂 That is, if she’s still lingering with you. It’s not healthy for either of you to continue that connection in that way.

          Indeed, there are ways to learn about your past lives (you’ve undoubtedly lived thousands of them–surprised?). Most anyone reading this article will be an older soul of that nature. You only want to be concerned about past life incidents that may be still causing you some hang-up in the present, however. Otherwise, playing “tourist” in your past is not wise or safe. You can get stuck back there! My non-fiction book, Speed Your Evolution, which is also available on Amazon in either paper or ebook format (and anywhere else books are sold), goes into great detail about the various ways to learn of past lives. The most important thing, though, is learning how to validate truth from falsity when dealing with previous lifetimes. I go into great detail about that, and I also encourage people and show them how to develop their own psychic intuition about these things so they don’t have to depend on psychic readers or hypnotists for information.

          As for your friends, I would not suggest you blurt out all that you know. Eventually, when you know them well enough, you can share some of your insight. I’m guessing you are here on the planet with all this inner knowing to serve some higher purpose in that way–to serve your fellow humans! I hope and dream that you will do so! Thank you again for sharing yourself with us! Much love, Lianne

  60. Jeremy says:

    Hello Lianne,

    I would like some advice from you please. Three years Ago a girl came into my life. As soon as I met her I was instantly attracted to her. Never in my life have I felt such a strong attraction for someone. She was interested but I took my time and she moved on. She met somebody she fell head over heels for and it killed me. The pain I went through is undescribable. I gave her a hard time over it and made myself look really stupid. She did feel bad and for her birthday I gave her a special personalized gift. I won her over, she really loved me for it even gave me a second chance however I was so angry with her for having sex with him and my ego had been so damaged I was foolish and slept with many girls just to get revenge. In the end it drove her away and now shes angry with me and has no interest or love. I still want her, i know for sure she is not my soul mate because she doesn’t make me feel good but there is no doubt I k ow this soul from a past life. I want to make things right and try and be friends with her because deep down she is angood girl. Just very insecure. I have made something nice for her on the internet which im sure she will find when she googles her name. Im not sure she deserves it because shes been very distant. It is my fault but my feelings were too strong and I was consumed by rage. Do you think I should keep this second gift for her on the internet? Will it help us be friends in the future even though things are bad now. I feel so guilty and im still in pain I want to make things right. Even if its years later I don’t care I just want peace as things are quite bad between us now. I messages her months ago she did reply but she was very cold. I want to know if one last good deed can help things in the future.


    • Wow, Jeremy, you have certainly complicated this one!

      “I know for sure she is not my soul mate because she doesn’t make me feel good…” So why do you care about her at all?

      “I’m not sure she deserves it because she’s been very distant.” That sounds so mean and cruel.

      “It is my fault but my feelings were too strong and I was consumed by rage.” Well, what woman would want to have anything to do with a man, who is by gender larger and stronger and more dangerous, who is consumed by rage?

      “I feel so guilty and im still in pain I want to make things right.” So, does that mean you care for her, or you don’t? Is it only your ego that is in pain because, while you dawdled and played hard to get, she found someone who was genuine and did not play games with her?

      Are you hearing yourself?

      A truly “good deed” is always a good thing, but “good deed” becomes tricky in the definition. What you might consider “good,” she might not. What I read in your post is a lot of conflicted, still-raging emotion, anger, and not much true caring or love for this woman. How old are you, I wonder? Seriously, you don’t yet seem to have control over your emotions and they seem self-focused, as young people often are. Perhaps the best thing you can do now is to leave this woman alone.

      If you’ve recognized some kind of past life with her, very well. That should tell you why your emotions are raging so out of control: they do not belong or fit with your present-life, actual circumstances. They belong to some long-ago past when one of you disappointed the other, or hurt the other. Sounds as if you have been playing out old emotional hurts and games, back and forth, and it’s time to wake up and realize who you both are in the present. That is why I say it might be best to just walk away. There is no way to go back into the past and balance the scales. All we can do is to love and respect and honor people in the present.

      But as always, only you can determine your best course of action. I am only here to reflect back to you, some of what you are saying, so that you might begin to hear it from a present-life perspective. Take some deep breaths. Try to consider that you might have over-reacted. After all, you said it yourself that you really don’t care for her that much. So, why so angry when she found another? Or when she felt “cold” toward you? These are all clues that you are dealing with a past life memory, out of proportion and inappropriate in your present lifetime, and a wounded ego—your own. Try not to hurt each other again, and you will then be doing a true “good deed” for both of you! Best wishes to you! I hope you will take some time to consider these words, and get off the merry-go-round with this individual.

  61. Anonymous says:

    I always feels like some one is out there some where who is my soulmate.i am married n having two kids but i never got the love and affection which i really wanted in my life.some times i see a man in my dreams and he is taking care of me n showing affection in d same way i need.i have a strong feeling that i ll meet him before i die and i was searching for him but never met him this only a feeling or any thing related to my past life? I belive he was my partnor in my past life..

    • I think your experience is all too common, Anonymous. But you had your reasons for marrying as you did, for carrying children into this world. Try to focus on the benefits and happiness you are gaining from where you are. I believe we choose these circumstances for the purpose of learning and growing as a soul. Those who love us, and those we love, will always be close to us in spirit. But sometimes, we just have to go to work in another part of town, if you know what I mean. Life isn’t perfect, and that’s how we are forced to grow and become better people.

  62. Anonymous says:

    do one sided affections mean a past life connection and if so of what sort?

    • You know, Anonymous, human affections are such a variable and varied tangle of emotions, it is hard to give any general proclamation for any given situation. I can probably safely say that “one sided affections” are not a rule that strictly implies a “past life connection,” no. Which leaves the question of a past life connection totally up in the air. Only you will be able to answer that question, based on your own inner knowing and guidance. Sorry, it’s probably not what you wanted to hear! But with so little information, that’s the best we can do. If you keep analyzing all that you know about the situation, and asking within for guidance, perhaps you will be able to tell us whether or not your one-sided affection began in a previous life. Thank you for reading and posting–and giving this subject some serious thought! 🙂

  63. Anonymous says:

    It’s so very real

  64. Alex says:

    Lol june,19 was my bday didnt do much, but when i hang with my best friend/brother. Connor i feel good, like finally found my brother that should have been like i stated before. Hes my mentor teacher, and blood brother. I would give up my own life and bullet 4 him, and whenever i put anything negative in my self. He would always say’ You should care about your self because i do”

    • Alex says:

      I keep thinking, why does only him show his actions and why does he care about me so much, the only thing i can think of is that hes in my life for reason and also my other ones because, we are connected spirturally from our past lives, and that he wants me to find my own happiness but also to be part of my life hes always telling me there should be more people like you in this world, stuff he says to breaks my heart. Cuz i love my brother i want him to find his happiness too, i found out recently hes having a baby, im happy but same time, i hope we will still hangout spend time with me, i feel like regardless any situation he will always be there.

      • Lovely when we find our long term, past life friends like this. You might drift apart while you each take care of business here, especially something like having a new baby! But you will never be separated for long. And when you meet up again, it will be as if no time has passed. Although, you will have to learn how to give one another enough flexibility for the necessary change and growth you both should be making, each lifetime, each day and month that passes. In other words, expect and embrace positive change in one another! Be supportive of that, always. My best to you, Alex. Thank you for sharing this!

  65. One more question: i hav seen in my life that watever wrong words i use for others, eventually those words cum back to me. Or in othr words ppl start using same words for me, even without having any fault of mine. To make it more clear; suppose A is having extra marital affair and i say, this man is not of a gud character. Simple, nothing unusual, almost we all comment like this but i hav noticed that eventually i hav to hear same words, used for me even wen i havnt done anything of such type! Why is it so?? Is it wrong to point out a person’s weak point or bad quality?? And if i use any such so called ‘wrong’ word, i use because of sum valid reason but why i hav to hear same words for me without any reason??
    It is all, whichever i m experiencing, reallyyyy v confusing and mysterious!!!

    And if u like questions and dont mind them at all, i hav asked one question on ur blog, where u hav decribed ur experience of sum biofied healing sessions. Pls answer that.
    And THANK U for answering my so many queries, removing my doubts & guiding me compassionately and selflessly!!

  66. Hi! Thank u! In my understanding and which i hav heard till now, karma works on this principle, “To every action there is equal and opposite reaction.” Suppose i slap sumbody then it is for sure that i wud be slapped sumday in same manner (or in more intense manner) by either that same person or by sum othr medium. Whichever is happening in my life is due to my own gud or bad karmas, if i did sum wrong to a person in past life, now he (or sum othr medium) will do same with me, means i will hav to go through same suffering which i caused to sumone in past life.
    It is wat karmic theory says.
    Now as it is said that we hav set patterns from past lives, as in my case pattern of falling for same kind of disastrous, non workable, tensed relationships and lateron due to escaping tendency & ego move out of them, i just want to understand this concept in the light of abovesaid karmic theory. Means i want to know; suppose person A hurts me i will say i hurt him in same manner in past life so he has hurt me. Simple! I leave him as i dont want to get hurt again and then i meet person B, a new soul, he also hurts me in almost same manner and again same situation gets created, i again say i must hav done same wrong things with him and now i m just getting that back. And i continue meeting same type of souls again and again. And i start saying, it is a set pattern of past lives for me to meet wrong persons and then later cut off all connections with them. Now my question is this how can it possible that i hav done same kind of wrong things with soooo many diff persons, who r appearing in my life for taking revenge?? And if i say that i didnt do anything wrong with them specifically, but it is just my own set behavioural pattern which is leading again and again to same situations then, do u think it is possible for being punished for the things which i hav not done?? Means only set pattern is causing chaos in life or it is past life karma?? Wat is difference or similarity (whichever it is) between the two?? It is all so confusing!!!
    This is my question if u cud understand!

    • And just want to add on, once i watched a live past life regression of a celebrity on tv. That woman is leading a lonely life after leaving her boyfriend. Past L R showed that her present life boyfriend was her husband in past life and died young in an accident and she had to lead a lonly life in that birth too! And i hav also watched sum othr live PLRegressions on same tv show, where most of the ppl claimed to hav same souls in the role of parents & siblings again & again in diff lives of theirs!
      It is all un understandable for me. Parents r same, life happenings r same then wat is different in this new birth. IS IT REALLY ALL PRE SET??

  67. Anonymous says:

    i need help! i am a female…i have an older female friend…we argue like crazy and then later forgive each other…and it happens over and over..yet i cant parr from her…and its emotional attachment…its driving me crazy! and i need some answers

  68. Anonymous says:

    Helpp me.

  69. Hi thanks for answering my previous questions. I hav many more questions in my mind but dont know from where to get answers.
    I hav always been in bad relationships. And best choice i always made is to move on and cum out of them. I hav an escaping tendency, i think so. I dont want to stay long in tensed situations and relationships.
    I hav read on internet only that we repeat old patterns. Is it a pattern which has been set out from my past lives and continue with next too? If yes then can u tell me how can i break this repeated pattern?
    And as i hav also read sumwhere that if we dont learn a lesson from a given situation, that situation will cum in our life again and again having diff persons involve, till we dont learn a lesson. As i hav an escaping tendency, is it because of that i hav to face same situation again and again as i run away and dont learn a lesson?
    And how to know which lesson i hav a need to learn?
    And if i think i m in a bad relationship shud i continue by thinking that there is a lesson for me to learn?
    And all persons in my life r really from my past life or as i m not learning a lesson which divine wants me to learn it is sending diff persons with whom i dont hav any past life connection but they r just sent be god?
    Can u guide me on this.

    • Searching, you actually know more than you give yourself credit for. These are questions that we all ponder in our evolution; they are at the crux of our learning about life.

      Even if I could follow you around and answer each one as it comes up, it would do you no good. The answering of the age-old question, “Do I need to stay to learn my lessons; or is it time to flee because I don’t need to suffer this anymore?” is one that we each must answer for ourselves, each and every time, because every situation is unique, because we all learn at a different pace, and because YOU are the one in charge!

      It’s not that a god is saying, “You must do this now; I command it.” Not in the Universe I comprehend. The lessons you choose to repeat or linger in are your own responsibility. No one has decided this for you. In some cases, perhaps your true self, your Higher Self, has looked back and determined your weaknesses and tried to set up situations to help you strengthen those weak spots. And in others, especially with younger souls, it is because your very nature has not changed, so you still attract these circumstances to yourself.

      Remember that you are the master planner! So from this vantage point on Earth, yes, it appears that situations will come around again, until you begin to do something different. There’s a wonderful film, an American film, called “Groundhog Day” that so beautifully illustrates this principle. It’s not that a god sends these people into your life; it’s that you attract the people and situations to you because you are still relative to them, you resonate with that situation. Something in you has not changed, or grown, or improved, so you repeat the pattern. If you can determine HOW you are helping to create the scenario, and if you accept that you are the one responsible, or if you understand why you attract a certain type of person, then you are well on your way to unraveling the dilemma. You will know how and what to change.

      How you finally change a repeating pattern within yourself, that’s going to be a solution that will propel your personal evolution! If I answered that for you, I would do nothing but weaken your soul. You would always have to depend on someone else for those answers! But you have them, dear, right inside yourself. You prove it by how you have phrased your questions. Trust that! 🙂

      Meanwhile, my book, Speed Your Evolution, contains many methods to help develop these personal skills of self-analysis, back-tracking, and change, as well as an introduction to the interdimensional energy science that supports these concepts. It is available in both paper and e-book formats around the world, by order from bookstores, and from online retailers such as Amazon.

      • THANK U! Luv u! I hav much clarity now. Yes i m weak cant face tensed situations that’s why they appear again and again, divine wants to see me strong enogh to face every kind of situation.
        I dont know whether u get irritated with my questions or not. I still hav one small confusion, as i m facing same situation and circumstances again & again with different persons/souls involved i want to know that if all persons r really from my past life then had i involved with all of them in same type of karmic accounts? I did same kind of karmas every time, with every soul?? Or only those souls r appearing at this point of time because of divine will, with whom i hav set such same kind of karmic accounts? And the gud one r sleeping sumwhere in wait of their turn of cuming in my life??
        I try to search answers from within sum times i get but most of the times i dont get!
        I wud try to purchase ur book which u hav mentioned.
        THANK U!

        • Hello again! Your questions have all been very important, and it’s always good to keep questioning! I would only get irritated if someone asked a question and then didn’t listen to the answer, and so asked the same question again. 🙂

          But even asking the same question over and over again is perfectly fine, because we all need to do that! And sometimes, we need different answers to the same question as we progress in our understanding. So please, “Searching,” if someone ever said your habit of asking questions was irritating, please, please ignore them and keep asking. (I’m sure my ballroom dance teacher has heard me ask the same question over & over again … and has given me numerous versions of the same answer. It takes a while to absorb new ideas, just as it does to learn new physical tasks.)

          Okay, on to your new question: I’m not sure I understand it this time. Can you please rewrite it and post it in new words? I think your concept of “divine will” clashes with my understanding of how the universe works. ! Also, my definition of karma leans more toward an energy construct, more like a product of the electromagnetism of the human interdimensional structure, than toward a mystical or “divine will” concept. Please try asking again, in a new way, whatever it is that’s confusing you. 🙂

  70. Pingback: 12 Ways to Distinguish The Angelic Influences From The Demons in Your Head -

  71. Sherrie says:

    Hello again! As you had asked me to do ,I had tried speaking to Rafiq ;and suprisingly I was able to say a lot ofthings.Though intially ,i felt awkward and wasnt able to concentrate either but gradually as i tried to picturise his face in my mind,I succeeded in bringing that focused and was able to speak up mind and tell him the things you told me.And trust me ! After doing that ‘ritual’for a few days i felt so much at peace.Though i dont feel that strong connection like earlier,but there have been times where Icry thinking about him .Sometimes i wish i knew spirit calling .Do you really think he’s out there somewhere listening to me.You’re the only person i could talk to this about.Itriedtelling my elder sis once ,and she strictly warnedfrom indulging in such physic acts saying that I was just curious.But i dont think its physic 🙁 Please help me out Lianne

    • You are such a sweet girl! I feel it coming right through your typing, even with the second-language struggle (or bad spelling! ;-)) I am so happy that you were able to experience that sense of peace and release with the boy Rafiq, who (for the benefit of my readers here) was killed at 16, your same age, in a violent incident but a physical stranger to you that you only read about in news reports–or so it seemed, until we consider past lives.

      It is normal to cry over separations, such as happen when a loved one dies. Feeling sad sometimes is okay and natural. Your tie to this boy must certainly run deeper than one lifetime, but now you must be brave and carry on in your present life, while he goes on into his spiritual studies between lives. You will and do have a connection, mentally speaking. But you are correct to ask and wonder how much you should activate that link. Now that you’ve helped him find that new life, you wouldn’t want to call him back here!

      We never want to interfere in our loved ones’ lives between lives by constantly grieving or calling upon them to come to us, mentally. It might cause them pain and distress! They are in a magnificent world of spirit-energy, studying with their spiritual teachers and guides and friends. Rafiq might be feeling sad for you that you are still on earth! where things are not always so beautiful. Do you see? From that higher-world perspective, where he is enjoying his time of preparation before reincarnating, the life we are living here on earth, struggling through our physical life challenges, might seem backward and limited. But it is so important to us! So if and when we enjoy a brief connection or sensation of someone who is living in spirit whom we know and love, we should treasure that brief moment, and then let them go back to where they reside for now, while we do the same.

      Where you are is vital to your own spiritual growth and learning and development of all your talents and skills. And where he is, well, he is also vitally engaged in activities that will benefit his future. So, trying to keep the two connected sometimes causes trouble for both parties.

      Earlier this week, I was asked questions about this by “Searching for Answers.” I hope you will read what I’ve said about her husband’s sense of his mother always being with him, feeling her love. Those two reinforced that connection by their physical association as parent and child in his present lifetime. The bond is slightly intensified. But your love and care for Rafiq is not to be diminished, just needs to be kept in perspective. Of course he feels your love! And you, his. But you two did not set it up to become friends or family in the present lifetime. So be it. You had chosen a slightly different path in the present. You must honor that. Your connection, for the time being, must be a little bit less intense, for both your sakes.

      Imagine with me how many thousands of dear friends and loved ones you have who are, right now, residing in the worlds of Spirit! Wow! We’ve lived, you and me and any other older soul, hundreds of thousands if not millions of incarnations so far! Think of that, if you can! Staggering and not quite possible to envision, but that’s okay. Still, it means that, not only Rafiq, but many other fond friends are with us from day to night, gently oscillating in harmony with us from wherever they are, on this planet or elsewhere. 🙂 We are never alone! Our thoughts link and re-link with one another when we share similar ones, constantly threading in and out, connecting and separating as our minds oscillate at different frequencies depending on what we’re thinking. And this is true of people who are in the body, or out of it.

      And dear friend, did you realize that I am probably also no stranger to you? 🙂 Or at least, if I was, I am not now. What keeps some of us linked to one another? The frequency (vibration) of our thoughts, the commonality of our interests, and in this case, our quest for spiritual growth and understanding.

      Do I think he’s really out there listening to you? Yes, when your frequencies align on a common harmonic. I am expanding your language just a little bit, so that you become accustomed to thinking of these things in a more scientific way, and in a less superstitious or vague manner. In your school studies, see if you can become a little bit more interested in the energy sciences. We human beings function in the same way as all other energy structures in the universe, including man-made ones such as radios or televisions or computers.

      This energy science is expanding as new elements come to light in every discipline. I hope that you will find yourself at least a little bit more fascinated by the new sciences, reading about it on your own as you have done here. I am prompted by my Cosmic CoAuthors to urge this of you. You are so young, and so promising. There’s going to be an exciting new world of understanding unfolding during your lifetime, but you might have to look hard for it. Don’t settle for the old adages, or the limitations of others. Just as you have helped Rafiq, you will one day have new ways to help others. You and he have shared a learning experience through all of this. 🙂 Make the most of it! Love & hugs …

  72. Sensing a wandering spirit around and sensing an angel/spirit guide r different in which way as both r spirits or energies without physical form? is relating to a ghost showing that person’s lower mental frequencies as to get contact with angels we shud raise our vibrations and quality of thought. Question is not related to ur present post so it wud be ok if u dont answer.

    • You are correct, Searching, on all levels! One, this topic is so important it really deserves a separate article, which I might write soon. 🙂 And two, raising our vibrations and quality of thought is the very best way to insure a higher quality of spiritual association.

      Because we are energy beings, we are constantly in touch with an infinite number of things, and their nature and quality are all harmonically related to our own nature and quality at any given moment. Raise your frequency (vibration) and you raise your associations to a higher level. Let your thoughts drop into a lower nature, and that’s the kind of psychic company you will keep. It’s all up to you! Thanks for asking! 🙂

  73. Hi i read sum comments related to spirit world and ur insight on them. Few years back I was v fond of watching horror movies & horror tv reality shows but now i feel so much fear even by the name of ghost!
    U replied to sumone that spirit of a dead person is attached to that person’s aura and seeking help to go for higher dimensions that’s why she/he is constantly thinking about him. If u dont mind can u tell that is it so, if we think about a dead person constantly we invite his soul/spirit to our aura OR if a spirit is aleeady in our auric field that cud be the reason of our constant thoughts reg that person? Or both r true??
    My husband says that he feels his mother, who died four years before, is always with him, not in a ghostly form but he feels her love with him always. Cud it be just a feeling due to emotional attachment or cud she be really with him in spirit form?

    • Every situation among human beings is unique, so let’s use your example of your husband and his mother. From where we stand in this physical world, we only have our inner senses to guide us about whether or not someone is “attached” and staying with us, psychically, or I prefer the term energetically. I would guess that he feels his mother’s love radiating toward him all the way from her new home in the higher-frequency worlds of energy. She has not “died,” not her true Self, and the two of them are attached at that higher, eternal level. We feel this sort of Love emanating from our spiritual brethren all the time, whether we identify it or not.

      On the other hand, a spirit who is lost, wandering, and affixes themselves to someone’s physical aura or energetic support system here in this dimension is another situation completely. This could be a perfect stranger, or someone you know or knew. The best way to determine if this is the case is by your own actions, thoughts, and personality. Has there been a change? Are you behaving in uncharacteristic ways? Are you feeling emotions that don’t make sense to you? Now, in that case, it might also be that these are your own old emotions from past lives, triggered by something in the present … and here is where things get complicated.

      This is why we each must learn of these things, usually by trial and error, and gradually improve our sensitivity and wisdom in this area. If you feel an influence that is not constructive, and you feel it is NOT YOU (we usually sense that), then it’s time to ask the unwanted visitor to move along and help them to do so by encouraging them, as I have described elsewhere.

      But in your husband’s case, he is enjoying a close, loving mental connection that, far from doing harm, is supporting him in his present life. “Feeling her love with him always” — how wonderful! Just enjoy that! And once again, thank you for asking such good questions! 🙂

  74. I hav a spiritual master, my guru who is one with god. He lives at a far away place and very aged, above 90. Is he my spirit guide?? Or can i hav sum othr spirit guides too??
    Thank u for patiently and compassionately guiding so many souls!

  75. I want to meet or talk to spirit guides/cosmic coauthors. R they same (spirit guides and cosmic coauthors)?? Do they really talk and exist in every religion?? I hav tried once or twice but didnt succeed. Anybody can feel them and get their guidance or do i need to hav sum extra powers or higher spiritual level to get a touch of them??

    • Hello again, “Searching for Answers.” When we speak of Cosmic CoAuthors (my term) or Spirit Guides (what many people describe), we are generally referring to individuals who are not physically embodied but work with us individually from within our mental perception. Anyone, in any religion, is free to communicate–and in fact we do naturally–with individuals residing throughout the universe.

      Whether living or dead, more advanced in understanding or at our own level of evolutionary development, we are connected with other beings, human, animal, inanimate. And we are constantly communicating with others in this natural, psychic or mental, energy linkage. All day long, we pick up these things like radio waves passing through the air, because that is very much what they resemble. Only the radio waves in this case are traveling at very high frequencies indeed, well beyond the reach of ordinary instruments (with some current exceptions on the fringes of science), and beyond the reach of our ordinary senses of sight, touch, hearing, smell, or taste.

      Ah, but many of us sense with higher senses which detect “subtle energy,” and we do sense these higher frequencies, which then, transfer or translate into our lower sensations of sight or sound or smell, etc. In other words, we “step down the frequency” to a level that we can then decipher in our ordinary consciousness. We don’t have to think about this; it happens naturally. You merely need to learn to recognize those higher inputs, to identify that they are coming from beyond your limited, ordinary levels of understanding. These psychic or mental contacts are not so limited. By using this natural ability to connect to higher resources, one can achieve much more in life, in whatever field you choose.

      The question you ask gets right down to the very basic science of the interdimensional transfer of energy-intelligence throughout the universe! Quantum physics is wrestling with the first beginnings of discovery of this esoteric realm where thoughts transfer, mind to mind, among physical humans, and physical humans and non-physical beings. Not all of us need to wait for the slow progress of traditional 21st century science, however. We’ve been developing and using these skills for eons.

      What does that mean, a non-physical being? It means an individual whose basic resonant frequency is higher than visible or detectable in our third-dimensional world by ordinary means. It means a Being who might be described as fourth-dimensional (or fifth, sixth, etc.) This says nothing about that Being’s qualities — whether benign, constructive, or destructive. Nor does it say anything about their intentions, for better or worse. It is important to identify the quality and intention of any non-physical Being you find yourself in communication with. Are they doing you harm? Or benefit? And to what degree? Selectivity and discrimination are as important to the subtle energy communications as they are to physical, day to day communications with fellow humans on planet Earth. In fact, since so little is known about psychic connection, it is even more important to know exactly WHO you are dealing with, and why.

      The individuals I refer to as my “Cosmic CoAuthors” are members of a universal Brotherhood of humanitarian beings who have distinguished themselves in the fields of science, art, literature, spiritual teaching, music, invention, etc. — on this planet Earth and perhaps on others. They have lived physical lives in the past as I am doing now, and they have “graduated” to higher levels in their soulic, spiritual, evolutionary development. They range up and down a wide range of human development, but by and large they are my elder Brothers and Sisters who no longer require the embodiment of an earth form but have evolved their minds to sustain life in higher-dimensional worlds more advanced than this one.

      I have studied with and learned about and from this Brotherhood for many lifetimes, and thus my connection to them and recognition of their frequency signature in my mind. They are not strangers to me. They have been my Teachers for a very long time. This may be true for you, as well, and for many others. They have taken the Earth populations under their wings, so to speak, and it is their purpose to aid and benefit humanity wherever and however possible, without interference in our right to grow and evolve at our own pace. Still, we need their benevolent assistance and their constant encouragement to move forward in our understanding, individually and as a whole. They are united in this purpose. Occasionally they will incarnate on Earth to carry out a particular purpose, and thus we have a history in which we can look back and pick out these Luminaries who have moved our civilizations forward. When you and I participate on Earth in cooperative, humanitarian, or constructive endeavors, large or small, we are training to become working members of this Universal Brotherhood in our own futures. Their advanced mental development represents the greater potential for individual achievement that we all possess.

      Their organization has been known in the past as Shambhala, the White Brotherhood, Unarius, Forces of Light, and many other names, depending upon the culture. I have chosen to call those who work with me “Cosmic CoAuthors” because of my career as an author, and because it is not a gender specific term. (“Brotherhood” simply caused too much controversy in the United States in the late 20th century, the true concept of brotherhood having been lost in a society struggling to equalize the treatment of women and over-sensitive to the terminology.) I trained in present and past lifetimes to be sensitive to their psychic, mental input, and to work with them as a clear channel so that their frequencies could pass more freely through my consciousness and reach the page or the keyboard, or any other endeavor in which I choose to attune to their high frequency. Many others have trained in this as well. We serve as helpers and secretaries, conduits to allow this Brotherhood to reach those who are ready to receive what they offer. I strive to constantly make myself available to serve in this way. The energies they provide are for the greater Whole, and carry a tremendous healing power for Earth people, in both large and small endeavors.

      To reach them? Learn to recognize their frequency when they reach you. Yes, anyone can do this. From any level!! No intermediaries, priests, preachers, gurus, degrees, levels, or permission required. It happens all the time. But it happens most often if you “meet them halfway”: with a positive thought, a loving intention, an appreciation or gratitude, care for others, or any good thing that resonates a higher-than-normal frequency. Your intentions, your true unselfish intentions, make a huge difference! Selfish prayers and wants simply won’t rise to a high enough level. But sincere desire for a higher understanding, or taking responsibility for your own predicament and improvement; those are good choices. 🙂 It’s all about the frequency you carry in your mind, from hour to hour and day to day.

  76. Anonymous says:

    Sorry Lianne, forgot to mention in my above post that I was arrested on trumped-up charges and executed in that French life after upsetting someone with a lot of power and influence. No doubt she may have taken another lover in that life and others since, which may be affecting things?

  77. Anonymous says:

    Hi Lianne. Phew, so glad I found your page! First of all, thank you for taking the time to write everything you have. Not exaggerating here but when I started reading it I immediately felt comforted, more at peace and with crystal clear conviction that this is the place where I can share in detail the situation I simply cannot explain to anyone in the world.

    I typed “I am in love with a girl who was my lover in a past life and I need help seriously” and it brought me here. I will explain the situation but first I have to say that it is making me seriously consider suicide should things not work out, and believe me this is just not something I would do. So I am actually willing to pay for any advice, but a response of any kind would be of massive help to me. I am a person of lifelong ‘multidimensional’ experiences shall we say, and have, through regression and other means, knowledge of multiple lives. So this really is quite a situation!

    A severely traumatic experience in this life (I was 25 metres away from the US embassy in Nairobi when it was bombed in 1998. Some 220 people killed, 5000 wounded and I did not even have a scratch on me) caused me to withdraw over time from a healthy social life and generally mess my life up. In 2012 I finally moved to the countryside, where I had longed to live for several years, having a view of the hills from my balcony in the town. One day I went into the nearby market town and was walking up the street when…bang, there she was. The sight of this girl gave me that ‘I’ve met you before’ feeling instantly and more strongly than I’ve ever felt. I had butterflies and shock. I had to go to my car, sit down and light a cigarette, which I did with badly shaking hands. ‘Who is she?’ and ‘what is going on here?!’ was all I could think. But she was with her boyfriend, and I knew I had to forget about her.

    Fast-forward another 8 months or so. I had a ‘message’ dream (lame term I use to differentiate meaningful visions from simple dreams) where I saw her. I instinctively knew that the scene was somewhere on the north-west coast of Scotland (we are in the north of England now). In the distance was a rough sea dotted with many small boats and ships. She was leaving her house and cycling against extremely strong winds. I was stood on a hill looking down at this. I went down the hill but in a direction away from her, and the scene changed to in the gardens outside a large 16-17th century, where I was working on the gardens. I saw my family go by (modern family) on an open horse-drawn carriage. All happy, very happy. They went into the mansion and I knew they were celebrating a wedding. End of dream!

    Not long after, I saw her again. She was in her parents’ shop, a small family grocers in town. I never saw her much, but started going in there and one day got talking with her mum, a lovely lady who I immediately clicked with. Talking about the weather and how up in my village it was so exposed to the wind, when she says “Oh tell me about it, we used to live in the Outer Hebrides where we had 80 mph winds!”. So this rang a big, interesting buzzer in my head.

    Shortly after this, I wanted to know more about my life in medieval france. I had knowledge of this from my ex-girlfriend, who had been my sister in that life. So I used my sleep to aid me in self-regression / astral travel and asked specifically to be shown something I need to know. Within a few days I had a most wonderful, remarkable message dream. Skipping ahead from the start of the dream which is amazing but so hard to describe, I suddenly found myself in one of the local pubs, the King’s Head. I walked into the bar area and a woman was sat at the bar in a smart black dress with a drink. She smiled although I could not recall her face and asked if I would like a drink, but I had a mission and said “sorry but I’m here to meet someone”. I immediately turned and walked into the wall, which briefly became a dark corridor before I walked into a scene from some 700 years previous, into a room in the chateau ( a modest, practical one!) I had seen in my regression. There she was, dressed in the style of an elegant but not extravagant lady of the times. She turned, a huge smile on her face, utter joy and love in her eyes and I knew that this person and I were closer and more intimate with each other than anybody else in our lives. “It’s you!” she said, before we exchanged words I could not make out. I will never forget the feel of her, as in her ‘vibe’; an invisible, beautiful wall hitting me and washing over me. The same vibe she still has, and the same effect. I woke up and sat straight up, stunned. Again, ‘who is she?’ ‘what is going on!?’ before I realised it was the girl from town. But why?

    I’m rambling so will cut this short. Thanks to my Nairobi thing, I never socialised. But one night I went out, and there she was. We made eye contact straight away. She came outside for a cigarette when I did, but at the other door and away from me. She went back inside and leaned to look out of the window at me, just as I was leaning around to look in at her. But I couldn’t talk to her! Sigh. She started working at her parents shop and I had to speak to her. She told me her name was Cherie (her surname is French too, but one of those that can pass as English) and she had been working as assistant manager at the King’s Head before new management changed things around. I had only been in that place once and had not seen her there, so had no idea she had been working there. I went home and sat there. This was…unexpected. Suddenly my absolute desire and attraction to her took on a new meaning, and I wasn’t sure if I was happy about it or not. This now dominated my thoughts. My life. I couldn’t talk to her. She was the one person I wanted to talk to, and I just could not. And this is how it still is, some 18 months later. I wrote her a letter and left a stupid gift of a massive basket of special chocolate (what!?), but could not go back to that shop and could not talk to her.

    Since then I had to go homeless. I couldn’t afford the rent on my cottage, and the annual after-effect of the anniversary of Nairobi lingered particularly badly. I was all over the place, mentally and emotionally. I lived in a nearby cave for a month then the council put me in a tent on a caravan park, where I stayed for another 5 months. No way was I moving away from her. Even though I couldn’t talk to her. I wrote her another letter, this time bringing up the France thing but not going into detail, just suggesting that maybe one day when she’s ready she should go for a regression. I stopped short of confessing my outright love for her, but put words in there which made it clear how much I liked her and respected her, how beautiful she is and I wished her all the best. I’m now living in that town, maybe 200 metres from her as the crow flies. She works in another pub now. I went in one night, unaware, and the shock and butterflies was mutual. We had a beautiful, happy and playful interaction when she served me drinks, but again I just couldn’t talk to her despite being able to talk freely to others. I had to leave, and have not been out since. That was now 6 months ago.

    Sometimes her and her sister or one of her friends on her own have really made an effort to be friendly to me, just saying ‘hi’ and smiling, and I’ve been the bumbling, frightened idiot. Sometimes she still walks past my window with her dog, looking in although my blinds are closed so it’s hard to see in but easy to see out.Thanks to a woman I worked with who knew her family, I managed to let her know in brief why I didn’t socialise anymore although I so want to, and that it wasn’t her fault that we hadn’t spoken.

    I’m sure I’m missing things out, like how her family seem to really like me and I got the vibe off her mum and sisters that they want me to be with her. Not sure what her dad thinks of me yet! The fact is that now I still think of her, every hour of every day, and I go to bed holding her. She is 24, I’m 37 but thanks to a very active past I apparently pass for 26!? All I want is to be with her, laughing with her and her friends and loving her. Living in bliss with her, having our children. These thoughts are anathema to how I have thought throughout my whole life! I have had a brief vision of her walking past the shop, holding the hand of our little boy. Now I cry every day at work. Not moaning or wailing. Just standing in the corner on my own with tears streaming down my face, as they are right now. I’m not good enough in this life. What use to anyone is a man who is only just over the breadline, although near future promotion at work is certain, so long as I can stop this crying thing. How can I ever talk to her? Why did she not reply to the facebook message I sent? A few days ago it turns out a colleague knows her. He showed compassion for me after he saw my tears. He will talk to her when he gets the chance, but I am at my limit here. How much longer will she wait for me to talk to her? Sincerely, I simply can not be with anyone else and I fear that if I fail here, as is quite possible if I continue this way, I would be crushed beyond words.

    Sorry for being so long-winded. Thank you for reading this.

    • Dear, sweet soul, Anonymous! I want to make up a name for you, because you need some “solidification” in this world, after the shocks and traumas you have experienced! Because it also starts with the letter A, let’s call you Alfred. My heart wrenches for you, Alfred, in this confusion and emotional pain. I am glad that you’ve found your way here, too, because you sensed and are open to the loving radiations that my Cosmic CoAuthors (spiritual teachers) have imbued within these posts. I’m a bit unclear about where you are living, but I think it’s in the far north of England, yes? Last known address, a cave but then a tent in a caravan park, is that correct? You say you have a job, which is going well if you can get a grasp on the emotions, so I’m going to guess that you have moved from the tent into some form of apartment for now. I will picture you there. Stay with me, here. With your mind, your heart, and your words, I want you to ground yourself in that place, feel the universal energy of life coming up from the ground beneath your (preferably bare) feet, traveling up and through you, out the top of your head, circling back down outside your body toward your feet again. You are like a rooted fountain of earth energy, pulling up and spilling over. You are beautiful!

      Now I want you to visualize Cosmic Energies, pure LOVE, flowing down into and through the top of your head, radiating all down through your body and connecting with that earth energy. There you are, glowing in radiance, grounded to Earth at the moment, solidly on the planet, and yet receiving from the Infinite, Cosmic Energies and Infinite Intelligence pouring down into your mind and charging up your physical body!! You are alive and glowing here on Earth! You are solid and strong! You have come here with great purpose, and you have work to do here. And when it is done, you will have left behind many good things in your path, things that will help others who come after you. You will be wiser in spirit and in understanding. Your wisdom will add to the greater Whole, and you will be well pleased with the challenges you have overcome. You will judge yourself less harshly, and know that you are worthy and suitable to share life with whomever you choose as your polarity partner. But first, we must help you to recover from what have been some understandably severe shocks and traumas, yet at the same time, to leave them behind you in the past where they belong. My Cosmic CoAuthors are even now, as you read this, helping your own higher self in this reconstruction project, in ways they know best.

      I know you are anxious to talk about the woman, literally of your dreams, who walks nearby and seems unreachable to you, yet who is so familiar from previous lives. Patience for a moment longer! I have not forgotten her. This is one instance where I wish I were with you physically, because there are many exercises from Eden Energy Medicine, or even more recently Biofield Tuning, or EFT (energy tapping, energy psychology) that could help you recover from the post-traumatic stress situation (PTSD) you’ve been in since the Nairobi incident. If you ever find yourself in a situation where healers from these practices are available to you, please do seek them out and take advantage of what they can offer you! Perhaps if you are English, some prepaid programs are offered in your socialized medicine program, maybe hidden within some progressive mental health programs that use these alternative modern techniques? I believe, from here, which is difficult because I don’t know all about you, that any one of these methods could free you from this PTSD trap within moments, and you would experience an unbelievable change and clarity! Many of the practices I mentioned offer self-help exercises, and particularly the EFT is available online. I have used it myself for so many past traumas! It really works, if you have the patience to read and follow the energy-tapping directions. Here’s a link to the founder’s website, and the instruction is free: EFT Instruction

      These traumatic situations, both past and present-life, are what stand between you and the ability to speak to the woman you describe. And until you can speak to her, she cannot get to know you, and you cannot get to know the person she is in the present life. That is so important! To develop the friendship in the present lifetime, so it remanifests in an appropriate way for your current lives. I don’t need to remind you that you cannot re-create the past in France, or any other era, and why would you want to? It didn’t end well for you! (And that adds to your shocks and traumas, the past-life execution you added in your P.S., thus distorting your present perspective.) Take some deep breaths with me – in and out. Now take in a huge breath and BLOW that energy out of your body’s energy system! Do all that you can to LET IT GO, let that energy of the past leave you, mentally and physically. I sense that you are clinging to it still, and it is not serving you well. And the energy of the incident in Nairobi, I dearly wish for you that you could also LET IT GO out of your own energy system. You are alive now because YOU HAVE WORK TO DO HERE! You did indeed deserve to survive, and it was for good reason that you were far enough away to remain uninjured. You write very well, and are unafraid to write a long message. Have you considered that it might be one path for your future? Writing? So you have good reasons to heal from these traumas and let them go.

      One more thing: I want you to consider that some of those victims from Nairobi may be taking a “free ride” in your consciousness, and I want you to talk to them gently and lovingly, and urge them to go into the Light, to find their loved ones there, and their spiritual teachers, and allow you to live your own life now on Earth. Just go ahead and speak to them. Ask them to leave your consciousness, for both your sakes. And don’t allow your guilt to keep them attached to you. That is just not right.

      You know how I began by giving you a name? I feel that your woman friend cannot see the real you because you have not grounded yourself back on Earth after that explosion of energy, that psychic shock experience. That is why you cannot speak to her. Some part of you left the planet, some strangers moved in, and you have been half ghost, as you well know. You told me as much in your post! That you had given up all social interaction, which perhaps began after the incident as a feeling of unworthiness. It has gone on long enough! Come back to us now! You deserve to be here, and the planet needs your presence.

      I want you to visualize yourself as fully physical (the energy pattern that I described: grounded to earth, drawing up its life-giving energy into your being, while receiving the Cosmic Flow in through the crown of your head at the same time). Think of yourself as strong, whole, healed, able, and present. Forget whatever happened in the years since Nairobi, ignore all anniversaries of it, and start again to be here, to live a full life. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. The stronger and more present you allow yourself to become, the more she will see you and understand about you. When you are whole again, you will feel emboldened to speak. You will be able to speak to this friend from so many previous lives very easily, once you try, for you’ve had practice in those lives, right?! And if there were any rights or wrongs or imbalances in France, they do not matter to either of you now. Stop thinking about the past, dear friend. You already know of past lives, so no need to explore them and become trapped there, either. Come back to us in the present. Take back your body from any trespassers! And write your stories! 🙂

      Now please do at least write here again, and let us know how you are doing, if we have managed to touch anything within you today. All Power to you!!! For the new you. Peace.

      • Anonymous says:

        Thank you so, so much for your response. You have indeed touched something within me, and I want to thank and give a big buzzy hug to you and your co-authors!

        Tim is my name, but Alfred was fine! I couldn’t find the option for registering here, so had to hide in the shadows.

        I am in the north of England, living in a flat now, paying my own way and slowly slowly getting back on my feet financially and personally. I always knew that coming back to society would be the hardest part, not walking away from it.

        What you said about some Nairobi victims taking a free ride in my consciousness touched me greatly, because it was true and it was just on the last anniversary that I did exactly as you said and had those amazing results! The Nairobi bombing had one major positive to come out of it for me, in that as I dug deep into my own thoughts and tried to figure things out, I realised that if such tragedy exists in the world then there must also be something equally powerful but at the opposite end of the scale; a love and wonder so amazing and so powerful it can’t be described with words. And so I went down the path of healing, from tai chi to reiki to angelic reiki to tachyon energy. Doing this, just healing people and animals, has made me whole when I have been immersed in it. I also make lovingly charged orgonite and over the last few years have gifted and gridded my whole region, now this year with the help of a friend I am starting a project to have the whole of the UK covered with large harmonizers! This and this alone has kept me going. It has also given me several stunning ET encounters, one of which I actually have a jaw-droppping and closely-guarded photo of! So it made me tingle to see the methods you suggested to me, which are all new to me and I shall enjoy learning about them and seeing if I can apply them. Thank you so much! Healing myself has always been so difficult compared to healing others. I can’t thank you enough.

        May I briefly share this little story regarding the victims being in my consciousness? I feel it may make you smile! About a year after Nairobi I started having waking dreams. At the time of the bombing there were crowds of people on the other side of the road to me. They had all turned towards the sounds of shooting and a smaller explosion from a hand grenade and I looked across and saw they were all looking the same way. Then the bomb went off and they were all in its path. In the waking dream, they weren’t looking towards the noise, they were all looking right at me. I woke with that sense of a presence in the room; somebody had been there. Last August I finally figured out what I had to do and, connecting with guides from my healing activities, did exactly as you said. I went back to the cave I had been in, built a fire outside and sat there under the darkening evening sky, and sent love and healing to the situation and everyone involved. Just a few months ago, they appeared in my dreams again. Only this time they were a choir, dressed in beautiful purple robes and singing tunes so beautiful, heavenly in fact. They turned and faced the other way, and then it was gone. Thank you. Last August was only the second time since 1998 that I did not suffer on the anniversary. Now I know it will not upset me again. Just writing this brings tears of happiness to my eyes.

        So yes, the problem now is not so much what happened but the negative effect I let it have on me over the years. Your words on this resonate so perfectly with me. I know that if I lose heart, all I have to do is re-read those words, keep them in my heart, and I will be back on track. It was also only recently that I put past lives in the past; this life is the important one!

        But I know I need help, of a specific kind. And I know I have found it now! I am going to do just as you said, so that being in the here and now becomes habit and routine.

        Thank you, Lianne. I look forward to letting you know how it goes, whatever the outcome.

        Peace and belly laughs be with you and yours.

        • Oh, Tim, you have brought tears of happiness to my eyes this morning! I could not have wished for a better reply! You know, when I type these things to a total stranger, I really have no idea why I am saying what I am saying, but I have learned to relate the information (from my CoAuthors) without question, because they do know you, and from their vantage point in the higher dimensions, they can see and know so much more than we can. Yet your validation of so many things also helps me, Lianne, in this work. Thank you sincerely for taking the time to share more of your story. I love it, especially the part about the entire crowd of people you have helped to find their way into the higher celestial dimensions, where they could receive help and take on their next position in life-continuous! 🙂 I love how you had those dreams, showing you the other side of things. True, true, true, every bit of it. What a marvelous thing you have done for them.

          But mostly I am joyous to hear the difference in your “voice” this morning! I “hear” that you have already come back, so much further back, into your body and being on Earth. And now you tell us so many of those truly excellent reasons for you to remain here and be strong, because you are able to help others! Isn’t that what it’s all about? Indeed. If you’ve studied those things (wish we could see that photograph!), then you will definitely love the fields I mentioned. Donna Eden (Eden Energy Medicine) has just finished a teaching expedition in Britain, leaving behind many graduates, and I personally know of a fellow studying Biofield Tuning with its founder, Eileen McKusick here in the U.S., but he lives in the UK. In fact, I’ll be with him in a class in the U.S. next month and you can bet I will share your story with him. Perhaps I can connect the two of you. If you could go to my website,, and send me a message through it, then I would safely have your email address or whatever other way of contacting you that you prefer. Here’s the link. I think you might find him to be an old friend, or at least, I did!

          Biofield tuning affects the subconscious (present life energy-memory) most directly, using tuning forks to realign the energy-information therein, and is excellent therapy for present-life shocks and traumas. But of course, that resonates harmonically right up the spectrum into higher dimensions where past life energy is codified and stored. It’s very new. Joseph and I are among the first students of this method. You (and anyone reading this) can read about and begin learning it yourself from Eileen’s new book, Tuning the Human Biofield, as well as video demonstrations on her website. She is forming a nonprofit now to systematize and certify practitioners. I know, from my own experience, it could help you with the energetic remnants of your Nairobi experience. To clean up the remaining debris, so to speak. 🙂

          But you have already done so well, Tim, perhaps it will not be necessary! Please remember your CoAuthors who are working diligently with and for you, always. Another reader has asked this morning to know more about them, and I will answer soon. Until then, thank you for the peace and belly laughs! I am delighted! Please carry on!!! 🙂

          • Anonymous says:

            Lianne, I am going to contact you on your website but thought I would put this here so that others may see this.

            I read up on EFT via the link you gave. I familiarised myself with the contact points but didn’t try it yet, as I had to get ready for a long day at work. However I did have the time for a very quick go at the 9-Gamut procedure.

            I am at a loss for words. Other than ‘Wow’.

            I have been in a traumatic trap for the last 17 years. And now a simple exercise lasting about 15 seconds has put me right. I mean, really? Oh yes, really. Although I’m certain it wasn’t just that, as I feel help came from you and your co-authors also. But whatever. For the first time in 17 years, I am released. My emotions are stable, consistently. For the last week I have been waking up and saying ‘ I’m not going to cry today’ and I would be crying within a few hours. Not today. Didn’t even have to think about not crying.

            PTSD is a term I despised. To me it was just people giving a name to something so that it might make it easier to understand; fitting it into their current understanding rather than appreciating what it really does to those who suffer from it, just how deep the rabbit hole goes. But my mistake was in not truly acknowledging the trauma I was going through and not doing anything to stop it. In fact I did not want to be happy. How could I be happy, wouldn’t that mean all those deaths and all that suffering that day was meaningless? Stupid thoughts like that.

            As for ‘her’, I still need to work on myself there before I can talk to her. But whatever your co-authors did to me has worked. I think ‘assimilation’ is the word here, as now I feel as I have wanted to for so long; a wise old soul, who treats memories from former lives as though they are simply memories from my whole life. Something like that, anyway! I feel strong again. You should have seen the curious looks at work today!

            I would like to leave a testimonial, to you and to the methods you passed on to me.

            Thanks to Lianne Downey, her co-authors and the methods she suggested to me, 17 years of PTSD has evaporated from me overnight.

            Yes, I think that just about sums it up.

            Thank you. So much.

      • Biofield tuner says:

        Lots going on here, I will help if you give your first name and general location with some energetic rebalancing using biofield tuning and matrix Energetics

        • Thank you, Biofield tuner! Tim, this is from my friend in the UK. He will work with you via distance. If you are able to send your info to me through the channels I described, I will put you two in closer connection.

          • Anonymous says:

            Only just seen this. Thank you so much. I dropped you a line on your page Lianne.

            • Hello again, Tim/Alfred. I just wanted to post a follow-up for our readers. My Biofield Tuner friend performed his energetic scan and tune-up work on Tim’s “biofield,” the energies stemming out from the body, which represent present-life experiences imprinted much like “tree rings” in chronological patterns dating back to the time of birth and gestation. This pattern only represents the present lifetime. The extended biofield, on the other hand, exists on up the dimensional spectrum in a different form; it contains past life information. At least, that is how visionaries currently characterize these structures, separating them for convenience of understanding. In truth, the human energetic blueprints that support both past and present lives are connected via resonating harmonic frequencies. (I will soon be conducting a class with my husband on the subject of the extended biofield, but you can read an introduction to this “Psychic Anatomy” here.

              Back to Tim’s biofield as of today: Nothing remains static in the universe, but Tim has experienced such a tremendous change, upliftment in overall frequency, and clearing out of trauma in the past 48 hours that our Biofield Tuner could detect no significant distortion or malformation in the wave forms of energy surrounding his physical body, i.e., his present-life biofield. Congratulations, Tim! And many thank-you’s to the Cosmic CoAuthors, spiritual teachers and interdimensional energy technicians, who provided so much healing energy to us all yesterday. How long this lasts will be up to you, but for now, you must be a changed man! Bravo! That was a long-worked-toward healing accomplishment, no doubt lifetimes in the making. This is how true healing occurs, and it is much more than a mere suppression of symptoms. This type of psychic-spiritual healing resonates deep into your bio-blueprint and affects all future lives.

              Your experience in Nairobi, and for all those involved who also benefited yesterday, whether living in physical bodies currently or not, was not a one-lifetime affair, you realize. Such events are usually repetitions of incidents that have happened repeatedly throughout history, providing opportunities for those involved to adjust or revise the roles they have played as they live from life to life. They may thus be able to resolve karmic, destructive impingements they’ve suffered with for many lifetimes. These major “tragedies” are actually important soulic development opportunities for anyone exposed to or participating in them. For such experiences, we, as souls, choose to return to Earth, once we have reached a certain point in our evolution that we are able to choose at all. Earth is a place for learning, for developing a more constructive consciousness, and for healing. No other environment would offer the opportunities we need, as souls, to grow and develop the godliness within.

              Again, Tim (and my Biofield Tuning friend, who leaped in to assist on the spur of the moment), I thank you for sharing your experience with all of us! And providing me with opportunities as well. Namaste! Love! Peace! and the psychic, spiritual truth of life continuous.

  78. vinod says:

    I am very confuse about my life and not at all satisfy wht i m doing. is this situation going to change.can any body help out.

    • Hello Vinod — If you keep asking within, your own Cosmic CoAuthors just might begin to supply some information you can use to reshape your life. That’s how it must be: we are all given this life to do with as we choose, and as we believe will most benefit our learning and development for all future lives. No one can answer those questions for you! If they do, they will only perpetuate the weakness that got you into your current situation. BUT … you have taken an important first step!!! Congratulations! It’s not easy to admit that (a) we are confused and (b) we need help and (c) we are willing to change. Good for you! And best wishes on taking the next important steps! 🙂 Be sure to rely on your own inner ideas and knowing. Your CoAuthors may whisper hints or nudge you in a direction, but they would never tell you how to live your life. All decisions must be yours alone. And thus we grow strong.

  79. tfitzjake says:

    Hi Lianne,
    I was so fascinated by this before, but even more so a year later. Maybe I just had to digest it and start looking around and considering things differently. I was most fascinated with your description about your mom. My mom was an alcoholic and would go into deep depressions. She was very difficult to get along with and I avoided her all the time. I couldn’t stand the stress of being with her. She died of Alzheimers/dementia and actually was easier to get along with toward the end. She would forget she was mad at me and she was fascinated by my hair, which i found kind of funny, and yet thrilling. She just plain old liked something about me. So, fast forward about 7 years, and my husband and I bought the house near Buchanan on Clear Lake…..something I never thought I would do…..go back to Buchanan. We live there mostly on the weekends and we often go into St. Joe for fun. My mom lived there after my dad died and I feel an incredible presence of her when I’m there. I could never figure out why. I can’t decide if she is really there or if I am living out her life in a different way for her…..sober and more happy. Sometimes I just get the feeling that that is what I am doing. Not quite like what you describe, but I find it interestingly odd.
    I think I’ve been aware that I’ve lived different lives since I was 12 or so. I would have never told anyone. One day I was with my dad and mom in the car and we were going to Philadelphia. Somehow we got across the border into New Jersey and we were lost. Suddenly everything looked very familiar to me and I yelled, “I’ve been here before.” My father turned around and looked at me and my mother turned around, and yelled, “you have not”. Well, I think I had. I had this tremendous sense that I had LIVED there. But I didn’t tell them since it was obvious they thought I was goofier than most at that point. It’s kind of nice to read that maybe I did actually live there at some point in my life.

    • Since my novel, Cosmic Dancer, became available, which deals with both reincarnation and the taboo subject of alcoholic mothers, I have discovered that at least three or four of my former high school friends also suffered with alcoholic and/or abusive mothers. Odd, that we sat next to each other every day, worked and played together, even visited each other’s homes, and yet the forbidden secret remained hidden. We never knew of each other’s suffering or similar predicaments! That’s how strong the taboo has been, or at least, how strong it was in the middle and late 20th century.

      If any of you have experienced this in your life, I highly recommend a nonfiction book that helped me so much, My Mama’s Waltz by Eleanor Agnew. You will no longer feel alone, or “wrong” about everything or in any way, no matter what your addicted mother told you about yourself. It was all a ruse to create “chaos” in her own life, so that she would have an excuse to drink and fulfill the physical craving that alcohol addiction produces, despite her conscience and inner knowing that too much drink was a bad choice. If she had to “deal with this bad child, poor me,” then she had her excuse to drink. Or a thousand other excuses she invented.

      More likely, you were an angelic child, an old soul, trying to learn some hard lessons about addiction by observing. In my case, choosing such parents was an effort to strengthen my resolve never to become addicted to any substance again, after some previous lifetimes during which I had succumbed to either prescription drugs or other mind-impairing substances. I also shared other karmic attachments to them, but both of my alcoholic parents provided me with this perfect mirror through which I could test and strengthen the healing I’d experienced between lives, in the higher worlds. Those of you now reading this are helping any such relatives of your own through your awareness, understanding, love, compassion, and new perspective. Your thoughts will aid their own healing! And when they return to earth for their next lifetime, they, too, will be able to try again and succeed. Just as you are doing now.

      Tfitzjake, thank you so much for your courage in breaking the taboo (“mustn’t speak of mother’s problem”) and posting your comment here! That alone is a huge step toward deep, long-lasting healing for both of you! And it has given me an opportunity to address the subject. The more we speak of it, the more the code of silence can be broken, and help can arrive.

      Now let’s talk about your other experiences. You already know about New Jersey, don’t you? Of course you recognized it! That was the kind of inner truth you must take at face value; it is more powerful than anyone thinking you are goofy or crazy. Once again, it’s wonderful that now, in the 21st century, we can speak more freely about these things! At that age, you knew more than I did about reincarnation! 🙂 I wish you had told me. lol. I wonder if your father had been there before, too, since he drove right to it. 😉 Have you considered your relationship with him? And that perhaps that wasn’t really a wrong turn, but a turn that led to somewhere familiar? Were you close to him? Was he, like my father was for me, a nice contrast of warmth and love that made dealing with your mother more bearable? I hope so, for your sake.

      I am glad to hear that you are already finding more peace and understanding in your relationship with your mother, even retracing the steps back to your childhood, in some sense, to visit and live in the same community. That can be helpful. I didn’t get as close to the home town as you did, but experienced some of that during a four-year move back to the same state (which I had fled as soon as possible when I was 19). I found it very useful to gain more understanding about the challenges my parents had faced, but more than that, a past-life history among all my family members began to emerge in my consciousness while we were there. By the time my husband and I moved back to California in 2008, I had assembled all the pieces. (I wrote about this connection in my nonfiction book, Speed Your Evolution, in a chapter about powerful family healing.) I suspect that if you learn more about past lives and continue to keep your eyes and ears open for clues, you might have more proof. But remember, it’s not necessary to know all the details. You already have enough knowledge to understand why you were drawn back to those family members.

      You were also wondering, if I read between the lines, if your mother is hanging around in your aura when you visit St. Joe, on the shores of Lake Michigan. This will depend upon whether or not she was able to find help for her illness and addiction when she left her body behind on Earth, in other words, whether she has gone to a healing center and school in the higher worlds after death. Or whether, like many addicts, she was unable to find that help and has remained “earthbound,” seeking relief from the alcoholic cravings she would still feel in that instance. In the latter case, if she were remaining in your energetic aura in this destructive sort of role, then it would be easy for you to know. Ask yourself, did you begin drinking alcohol shortly after she died? In other words, you describe yourself as sober, which indicates that she did not attach herself to you, for if she had, that is what you would feel: a sudden desire to take up her old habits. Has this happened to anyone you know, or any other family members? Then it is possible in her confused state that she remains with them, and if you have been reading this thread, then you know what to do. Otherwise, I would say that the sensations you have when visiting the places she lived is more about you gaining understanding and “seeing things through her eyes,” than her actual physical presence at all times.

      One other element that could be a factor: I very much feel my parents’ presence with me now and then. These are more like visits, helpful visits in which we experience an exchange of love, and/or they offer some assistance for the task at hand. This happened especially often when we first moved back to Michigan, when my native California-born husband and I knew next to nothing about living there in winter. They came to help and guide, point us in the right directions. They have let me know that they are better now, that they have received help, and they are very eager to continue their role as parents in whatever ways possible, working with my Cosmic CoAuthors and others to connect with me. Your mother’s presence with you could very well be of a more benign nature, proving that she has indeed received help since her departure from earth, and that she is desirous of making up for the errors she made as your mother! She is most likely playing this role in your life now, helping where she can. Their skills in the higher-dimensional worlds may be limited, but they can lend their consciousness to any effort to benefit you, as you carry out your own life. I hope you realize that we all constantly receive help from individuals in the higher worlds, more advanced than we are. We wouldn’t last five minutes without it! Our parents aren’t that advanced in their skills, but their mental energy truly adds to the mix.

      Next time you have such an experience, see if you can characterize more about the type of interaction. Open your mind and accept that your mother might be trying to say, “I’m sorry. How can I help you now?” As long as a deceased friend, relative, or stranger doesn’t take up permanent residence in one’s consciousness, or make so many visits that they are missing out on their spiritual schooling, then these types of ongoing communication are common and normal!

      Much love to you, Tfitzjake! And to your mother and the others in your family. You are making beautiful progress, by the time and attention you are giving to these subjects! May you ever be open to receive!

      • tfitzjake says:

        Hi Lianne,
        Thank you for your reply. I’ve read it several times now and it brings tears to my eyes. Not sure of the entirety of that reaction, but part of it is realizing that we did sit right next to each other for hours during the day and neither of us talked about our common secret. I know I often felt “different” and “alone”. Yet, I learned very early that you just didn’t talk about it, not even to my father. My dad was sober, and he was also the one I could go to when I needed a hug. He was also the jokester and he could make me laugh. But saying to him anything about my mother’s craziness or meanness was not acceptable either. As an adult, finding that I no longer have to keep that secret is such a relief.
        I read somewhere else many years ago that we choose where and who to be born to so we can work out problems we had in earlier lives. And my first reaction was, “If that’s true, what the h….was I thinking?”. I am not as clear about all of this as you are. I like reading about your experience and view on this. Thank you!
        I think that it is a distinct possibility my dad got to that place in New Jersey because of something in his past. When I think about how he looked at me (it is still so clear, I find that odd), it wasn’t the same look as my mom’s, who was the one who yelled. I wonder now if he was having some same kind of feeling, as well. We would have never said anything to each other about it, but I just have to think you’re right.
        So, while I am talking about things that I’ve never told anyone…….When my dad was dieing, I was sitting in the hospital room alone with him. He was on a breathing machine and was comatose (he had had several strokes). As I was sitting there, I swear I saw a spirit rise from his body and it floated into my physical body. I was stunned. I am very much like him, have always kind of looked like him. I am different, too. I don’t think about it much except when one of my relatives, even my sisters sometimes, will say, “You are so much like Tom”. Can I be me and him?
        I appreciate the opportunity to express these things. Thanks.

        • Keep that analysis going, Tfitzjake, and that reading and study. You’re learning a lot, putting pieces together. But you asked one question I want to answer: “Can I be me and him?” with regard to your father. No. You can only be you. You SHOULD only be you. One person to a body, please! 😉

          The trouble we get into is that sometimes other people who have lost their bodies, and who didn’t put enough thought and attention into their life after death (or who were misguided on that subject, which is so common), may see our Being as a light in the dark. We are someone who is still living our physical life, which was so familiar to our lost, deceased spirit who knows nothing beyond a physical life. He or she experiences the sudden thrust into an astral world as chaotic, and they become temporarily lost, panicked, or confused, or in some cases, believe they must remain with certain earth individuals “to help.” So we seem familiar, or maybe they DO know us, or we seem like a safe haven. They can attach to our psychic energy bodies, the extended biofield or Psychic Anatomy I’ve written about elsewhere on this blog and just spoke of in another comment.

          We’ve determined that your mother is likely NOT with you now in that way. But your description of the spirit that went into you at the time of your father’s death could be one of several possibilities. Being “like” him is not the same as being him. Here are some choices:

          1. It might be that your father’s spirit came and embraced you for a bit, then moved on to his new position in the higher worlds, helped by those Lighted Ones who specialize in such tasks, or a relative. That’s not only nice, it’s common.
          2. It might be that a lost spirit clinging to your father during his lifetime left his body as he was dying and took up residence in your energy system. In other words, sought you out as a new host.
          3. It might be that one of these individuals remains with you.
          4. It might be that the situation was temporary and neither remains.

          How will you know which it was? Ask yourself a few questions. Did you undergo a personality change after your father’s death? No? Then you probably did not remain a permanent host. Yes? Then perhaps you should encourage any lost souls to find their way, as I have described elsewhere.

          If you wish to learn more about this phenomenon, please look into a book by Dr. Edith Fiore, The Unquiet Dead: A Psychologist Treats Spirit Possession. Knowledge is power, and removes all fear of what is actually a quite common experience. People don’t realize how often their thoughts are joined in this way by others. Superstition and fear have clouded the subject, and kept the science of it out of reach of common knowledge. Our thoughts are always dipping in and out of various pools of shared consciousness throughout the Infinite; keep them at a level you wish to maintain and you’ll be fine. But occasionally, someone wants to go for a free ride with us and it is not constructive for either of us. They we must gently encourage them to go where they need to be, and we have spiritual guides who can assist. Just ask.

          Looking and acting like your father, or mother, is common. But living out their choices, with your own lost or overridden, that’s a sign of trouble. Hope this helps! 🙂

  80. Marnie says:

    Hello Lianne,
    I am adopted, my bio mother was severely mentally ill. Luckily I had an open adoption so I was able to know my bio family. I saw my mother a cpl of times when I was a kid and she called me semi regularly whe I was about 10 or 11.
    Unfortunately she killed herself when I was 14. She lit herself on fire. She lived for 2 weeks at Cedar Sanai burn unit before she died.
    Well A few years ago I went to a past life regression. Everyone there was someone in my life now. Even my mom. She was either my grandmother or one of my kids I don’t remember.
    That regression really made me think. Even though she wasn’t a part of my life, she has still been with me, probably throughout all of my lifetimes.
    I am heart broken that we weren’t able to be together this lifetime.

    • Dear Marnie:
      How wonderful that you have the benefit of knowing that you and your mother have been together in other lifetimes! Many in circumstances such as yours do not understand that, and hence the grief of separation stings more for them. If you realize that your connection is so long-lasting, then you can almost view it as a “momentary” separation, one in which you each had different matters to attend to, as if one of you had gone away to college for a time (which is pretty much what Earth School is like for us all). You needed to follow another direction in the present, one in which your home life would be other than what she could have offered you, given her illness. And she, in turn, had her own experiences to undergo, both of you for the sake of your long-lasting soulic development.

      My mother also experienced mental illness, but hers was not so severe and led only to alcoholism and physical degeneration. But life with her was not easy, and my past-life connections to her meant that I was constantly trying to “help” or cajole, when not fighting with her. I finally had to realize that her problems are/were such (she is no longer in this dimension) that she needed to (a) overcome them herself and (b) get help that I am not sufficiently developed, spiritually speaking, to provide, nor was anyone else in my family. She is now improving vastly in the higher worlds, where she is receiving much aid and assistance to face and overcome the issues that led to her mental problems. How do I know? Because we are still connected, and through the assistance of our mutual spiritual Guides and Teachers, we often visit in dreams and during moments when she connects with me mentally, and I with her. I never expected this, despite all my 40 years of study in this field, but we are STILL, to this day and moment, working out our karma with one another! So wherever we left off in our relationship when she passed over, no longer applies. We are much better now, both much wiser and healed of many things.

      I am telling you this long story because it can be the same for you and your own mother! You need not feel that you are so separated as the physical illusion might indicate. And right now, you and I can help your mother significantly with the help of those whom I call my Cosmic CoAuthors. In fact, you did a great and wonderful thing for your mother when you posted this comment! Your LOVE shining through is a very strong and magnificent Power in the Universe, and it can be used by my Cosmic Teachers as the power beam to locate and contact your mother, wherever she might be residing in the astral worlds, whether higher or lower.

      Sometimes people who commit suicide land in a lower frequency on the other side, and need this extra assistance to find their way to an appropriate school or healing ward where they can get help to prepare to come back and try again, to conquer the mountain they have set before themselves. The Beings who labor in such places are highly trained, specialized, and well prepared to assist in all the psychic, energetic methods used to help that soul rebuild the parts of their energy bodies that were shattered by the suicide. Thus they are counseled, healed, and coached for the future. It is a beautiful thing. But a catalyst may be needed to jump-start this process, and you have provided that with your loving thought-energy and actions.

      So between us all–you, me, and the Highly Advanced Minds of my Cosmic CoAuthors (and all the readers who are chiming in with unconditional LOVE)–special beams of healing Light-Energy are being projected and connected to your mother now. She will be assisted in ways these Light Beings know best. This is the wonderful legacy that you have bestowed upon her. When next you meet, be it in this dimension or in a higher dimension between your earth lives, she will be better able to communicate with you, and you can carry on in developing a more balanced, harmonious future–for both of you!

      Congratulations on making this triangulated connection, by finding, reading, and commenting on this article. Our positive actions always regenerate positively in the Universe! We rarely know what a difference they make, far beyond the sphere of our small, personal selves on Earth. Much love back to you, dear Marnie! Go forward with greater Peace, knowing you have done the best you can for your own self, and for your mother.

  81. vijay says:

    Not just humans animals too. I many times felt not only to humans but to many animals I feel connected somewhere in the past that is beyond the realms of my memory

    • Hello Vijay–I just want to remind readers that while animals do return, their “psychic anatomy,” the energetic biofield or blueprint that retains all past life data, does not yet contain the same structure of “higher self” or personal identity that humans have. That’s what separates us, this inner godself that is just beginning to develop as we cross the line in our incarnations from animal to human — far, far, far, far back in your personal evolutionary history. It is not Darwinian evolution I am referring to, but the personal, individual, mental/spiritual growth of your being, which is never-ending.

      Once we become human, in my scientific/spiritual cosmology, which I learned from the writings of Ernest L. Norman, we do not go back. We continue to develop. Dr. Norman wrote many interesting things about the nature of an animal’s evolution, how they do begin to develop that personality (as we all know if we’ve owned pets!) but they do not yet have that same essential Facet of Infinite Consciousness or budding Higher Self that makes us human. They do not have the same ego structure, in other words, nor have they reached that point of becoming a larger facet of Infinite Intelligence (God). They are just beginning. One would never want to go back to that, and we do not.

      But do we feel connected to an animal, and sense their personality? Of course! They are magnificent, amazing energy creations, too, guided by Infinite Intelligence which is so evident in their behavior to all who observe. However, their connections to Infinite Intelligence are almost more collective; in other words, as they learn, the collective Whole of that species will benefit, and future generations may bring that development back with them. It is as if each species shares one big psychic anatomy, if you compare them to a human psychic anatomy, which we possess individually. See my article on this blog for more on this: The Psychic Anatomy Concept of Life

      Oh, it is a fascinating subject! But that’s enough for now, and for this forum. 🙂 Thank you for posting and allowing me to drop these tantalizing tidbits of information! Namaste

  82. Sherrie says:

    Thanks a lot for answering my question 🙂 🙂 and no i don’t think that you have confused me at all.Infact ! You have given a direction ,a path that can happily follow .Now,i feel that I have a greater responsibilty towards him .And i believe in the saying ‘When you want something with all your heart the whole world conspires to brong it you ‘ so maybe someday i will be near him physically 🙂 Really thanks a lot for making me realise such wonderful and mystical things.Love you

    • Sherrie says:

      But the one thing that I am confused about is how do I help him exactly ??!

      • Yes, Sherrie, thank you for asking for this clarification. I want you to re-read this paragraph, and then I will explain more fully about this “next step” I refer to. I forget how young you are (because you are old in spirit!) and that you might not have experienced this before:
        “… Those who die suddenly, and especially violently and early, sometimes do need someone such as you–someone who is sensitive, knowing, and caring, and loving–to help them make the full transition. Sherry, use the love you are feeling, the Infinite Love, to reassure him, comfort him, and ask him gently to move into the next phase of his journey. One day, perhaps, you will stand side by side and he will thank you for your help. But please, do not hold him back! It would be a mistake for both of you. Much love to you and to Rafiq! Many Light Beings are standing by to help you both with this next step.”

        While I was writing that reply to you, it came to me that your friend Rafiq might be actually clinging to your aura in this world, instead of letting this world go and traveling spiritually, as we all must do at the end of our lives, with his guides and teachers and loved ones into his next phase, into the beautiful, magnificent higher worlds of Spirit, where he will spend a time of learning and growth before his next incarnation. You might hear some refer to this situation of clinging to an earth person’s aura, which provides a kind of energy, as being “earth-bound,” and it is not a pleasant place for any soul to be stuck, nor is it good for you. But given his sudden and violent departure from this world, it is a common confusion that can happen. And you, with your bright little Light shining in his darkness, and your loving concern and even potential past life connection, might appear to him like a safe haven he would not want to leave.

        So I was asking you to speak to him directly, by name, in your mind, just as you would if he were standing before or beside you. If you are alone, so you don’t have to try to explain this to others who might not understand, you can feel free to speak it aloud to him. If not, speak it in your mind. He will hear you! And even if he has gone beyond your physical aura into the higher worlds, he will still hear and benefit from your loving intentions! So it cannot hurt to do this.

        Explain all the beauties and wonders that await him, and the relief and help he will receive from any lingering anxieties or pains he might be sensing. Comfort him. Tell him of your love. And ask him please to let himself be led into his new life in a new world. This is the “step” I want you to take, to perform this little ritual, if you want to call it that. At the same time, and before you begin, I want you to ask your own spiritual guides and guardians, your Cosmic CoAuthors, to help you by helping Rafiq travel to his new home. They have all the skills and energetic Power to help him ease into this transition from our world to the next, skills you and I have not yet developed, living as we do in a third dimensional world.

        Undoubtedly, you two will meet again. You have forged a new connection with this soul, even if you didn’t already have one. The science of interdimemsional energy that underpins all that I have described mandates that nothing is lost, and such bonds are inviolate. So please try this direct communication with your friend, and thus you will help him over any difficulties or reluctance to leave that he might be feeling due to his physical age, and the suddenness of his departure.

        Does this help to clarify? And if it does not, please don’t hesitate to ask me again! Much love to you, dear soul. You are one of the bright stars now shining on this planet, and I expect this will not be the last time you will use these new skills, for you have the sensitivity to be of assistance to many. What you don’t want to experience is a large group of souls clinging to you in the future! So any time you feel the psychic presence of another soul in your energy field, or the need to aid a passing spirit into their future world, please use a similar script, ask your guides for help to take this soul in their care, and urge that individual to carry on in their journey and not to linger in your earth aura. These individuals generally do not realize that their lingering may cause you harm by attaching to and draining off your earth-energy. Feel free to inform them of this! You need those energies to sustain your own physical life. I hope anyone reading this will also benefit and use these tools if needed. I rely on my psychic sensitivity, and use this method when necessary to help those who come to me, having seen my Light in their darkness. This is yet another way to be of service to your fellow human. 🙂

  83. EJ says:

    Hi Lianne,
    Firstly, I want to let you know how fascinating I found this article and the stories people are sharing. Secondly, I’d like to share my story also and hopefully get your input.

    I married my husband just over 2 years ago. I was scared and alone when we met and decided early on that we would be married (admittedly this sounds strange but I kind of just “knew” it would happen). He was such a nice guy and I was worried I wouldn’t find another. While the relationship itself is fine, I’ve felt very pressured over the last couple of years because my husband is not very career-driven or domestic-minded and I’ve found myself both running the household on my own and being the main breadwinner. This has caused a lot of resentment on my part.

    About a week after we were married, a co-worker (whom I had worked with for 3 years) smiled at me – such a simple act, and certainly nothing he hadn’t done before! But this time it was like a lightning strike and I felt a sudden and incredibly strong connection with him. I started dreaming about him at night and became really sensitive to his presence at work. Previously we had had an odd relationship and I always felt tension between us, though nothing had actually happened to justify it.

    I’ve slowly gotten to know him better as we are both quite shy and withdrawn and I’ve found that we have very similar personalities. I find that I am physically, mentally and spiritually attracted to him.

    I just assumed I had developed a “crush”, but the connection has gotten stronger over the years and now I dream about him at least 3 times a week – sometimes more. It’s seriously disrupting my sleep and I often wake up feeling incredibly sad and this feeling tends to sit with me all day. I can’t shake the feeling that it stems from a past life.

    I’d just like to know your thoughts on this as I find it distressing… both having this connection with someone and feeling like I’m not able to do anything with it, and also the guilt of waking up next to my husband after having dreamed about another man!

    Thanks! – EJ

    • Hello, EJ! Thank you for reading and especially for posting your story. I hope it has already helped you, as writing often does. 🙂 Puts you in touch with your true Self somehow. Now, you can read it back to yourself and decode what you let slip!

      For instance: “While the relationship itself is fine…” Hmm, then you go on to describe a relationship that can’t possibly be “fine” if you are feeling all that you are feeling, both within and without the relationship! And is “fine” all you want from life? Do you have shared goals, mutual respect, and balanced give-and-take with your husband? I suspect that if you did, you would not be finding a co-worker to be more appealing. I also suspect, since you happened upon my article, that the real drive you are sensing is for a partner who shares your spiritual, mental, soul-sustaining aspirations and who can help you attain them.

      I think of individuals such as your co-worker as the “crowbar” that helps us see that our present situation is lacking. Especially if we’ve fallen away from the spiritual pursuits of personal growth and development. These old friends may act as a force to “pry us out of” the place we’re stuck merely by helping us see the predicament we’ve gotten ourselves into, and they are often people we have known before. They show up in the nick of time to provide a helping hand, to get us back on the pathway. They are not necessarily the next relationship on our agenda. Our spiritual agenda, that is. They merely provide contrast, which is like looking into a mirror of truth. (Tch, of course I only know this because of my own experience.)

      Never mind past lives–for now. The real spiritual truth that you need reminding of here is that YOU concocted this situation by choices you’ve made! Therefore, you have all the POWER YOU NEED to get yourself into a better one! You created this, and you can un-create it. Isn’t that wonderful? The power is yours. Take it and use it. You should “find it distressing,” as you’ve said about your circumstances. Yes indeed! And feeling distressed should be motivation. Sometimes feeling bad is a really good thing!

      You have embedded in your post all that you need to know. And all the tools you need for change are within you. My very best wishes to you, and I have absolute faith in you. Do let us know how your life improves when you take the bold necessary steps to make it better, whatever they may be! 🙂

  84. Sherrie says:

    Hey there!I am a sixteen year old and last year in the month of december i was flipping through a magazine that had covered the tragic peshawar attack and i came across the name of a sixteen year old boy who died during the attack.I googled up his name and the results that followed up were a number of fan pages.I clicked on one of em and saw a picture of him with three of his friends who died on that fateful day.And there was this guy named rafiq whom i cant get my eyes off.The moment i saw him i kept praying that he shouldnt be dead Nd should just be in a hospital recovering real fast but the nex pic was his..on his coffin 🙁 I cried and i cant forget him..i am in touch with his cousin and he keeps telling me about me which makes me feel that i might have known him forever.He was a very humane kind of a person who always gave money to poor beggars.And inspired by him i have made up my mind to do some kind of charitable wprk evry 16th day of the month to honour him.We share a lot of things together..he loved dogs ,hated sleeping alone was afraid of the dark just likw me.I dont know what to call this but after the day i saw his pic i bdokeup with my bf bcs all i think about is him.I am working on my book..and i have dedicated a chapter to him.My only wish now is to visit his grave once in my lifetime and be near him.I really never felt like this for everyone.Do you think we might have met in pastlife bcs i am surpriaed that i hv struck such an unexplainable and precious connection with and i feel that i have known him for ages.Please help !

    • Dear Sherrie, what a beautiful tribute:
      “…inspired by him I have made up my mind to do some kind of charitable work every 16th day of the month to honour him.”
      Good for you!
      I too have been moved by “total strangers” whom I have not met in the present lifetime, but whom I suspect I have known in previous ones. As in your case, these are people I will probably never meet in the present, and indeed, some of them are long gone from their recent incarnation, i.e., what people call “dead.” But I know they are not dead at all! I feel their essence and their spirit with me. Many of the inspirational, overshadowing Beings I refer to as my “Cosmic CoAuthors” are individuals I have actually known and studied under in prior lives. So I would not scoff at your story at all! Oh no, not me!

      I would even say that it is possible this boy has become a part of your collection of friends-in-spirit (we all have these) and hopefully, he will continue to inspire you in positive, helpful ways. I like your use of the word “precious” to describe the connection you feel. May I use it, too? Because it’s a good way to describe that deep inner thrill of LOVE that one can sense from these friends who are no longer with us, whether they are family or not. Whether they are at our own level of spiritual development, or have graduated to a much higher rung on the ladder of spiritual attainment.

      There’s no way to know which rung of that ladder your friend occupies, at least not by me and not from where I am standing. But you, dear, can feel in your heart if he is your equal, a longtime friend or brother, or your superior, one who will inspire you to greater greatness and lead you to the self-improving lifetime you have before you. Is he a member of your soul family? Or one of your Teachers, who are highly advanced? Does he feel very close to you physically–as a dead relative who might visit us briefly from spirit? Or is he like a gentle breeze who feels very distant? The spiritual guides who work with us would never interfere in our personal lives, or cause any kind of emotional distress or sadness. So I am guessing that he is the former, more like a relative contacting you from spirit, and a bit confused about where he is.

      Please don’t feel you must visit his grave to be near him. He is with you, as you described. That is the reason you are feeling so strongly. But Rafiq died so suddenly, it might be that he is a little bit lost and needs some guidance to find his way to the higher worlds, where he should be now, advancing his knowledge and preparing for his next lifetime. He might need you to encourage him to move on, knowing that the positive feelings between you can never be lost. But you have your life to lead on Earth now, and he has his life between lives that also needs his full attention. He has many loved ones and Teachers who are there, waiting for him, ready to embrace and comfort him in LOVE, as you have done, but they cannot until he allows himself to part from this planet, and from you, for the brief time before he returns here. Speak to him in your mind and remind him of this.

      Please also, do not grieve over this separation or try to hold on to him. Feel the joy he will feel as he fully embraces the magnificent wonders that await him! Your connection from past lives is a good thing, perhaps, because it gives you this opportunity to follow his good, charitable example, and yet to also help him in his time of need. Those who die suddenly, and especially violently and early, sometimes do need someone such as you–someone who is sensitive, knowing, and caring, and loving–to help them make the full transition. Sherry, use the love you are feeling, the Infinite Love, to reassure him, comfort him, and ask him gently to move into the next phase of his journey. One day, perhaps, you will stand side by side and he will thank you for your help. But please, do not hold him back! It would be a mistake for both of you.

      Much love to you and to Rafiq! Many Light Beings are standing by to help you both with this next step. Please let me know how it goes … or if I have confused you or you have questions about what I’ve said.

  85. Where do I Start ok Ms. Intelligent Lianne! I’ve been in a relationship with someone for about 5 years now.. I love him and he’s the father of our amazing daughter! Around the middle of last year we start to have problems and kind of separated from one another, NO we are NOT married. But even though we sort of separated it was still like we were together we still were trying to make it work. So one day October 13,2014 I was walking into the store and this guy was walking out of it it’s like we instantly connected!!! HE then stared and stopped me striking a conversation, something I usually never entertain but it was something about him that drew me to him. He gave me his number and I told myself I wasn’t going to pursue him because of my current situation with my bf that I was trying to work on. But after two days I just couldn’t help myself I just felt as I had to get to know him. So I texted him and right off the bat we begin to text constantly talk on the phone spend time together and it was something like I’ve never felt EVER! Although I’m only like 26. But I have met many many different people, been in several relationships and so on and never felt so attracted to someone like a freakin MAGNET! We’d always say it felt like we have known each other forever but we barely knew each other. I instantly started to think about NOTHING but him not my bf just Him all day everyday. He would text me or call right when I was about to do the same. HE was always there. It was just a feeling I couldn’t shake. Crazy part about it is in 2009 there was this accident involving a girl and her boyfriend where the girl died in a car accident because of a prior argument over her boyfriend, and I remember the day it happened and everything so clearly, but I never knew either persons. (In mind this was not my hometown just where I attended college from 07-15) Come to find out after I was already involved with this guy he started to tell me about his past relationships and he was the guy and the girl was his XX gf whom had died. And it just made me feel some type of way.! I STILL remained talking to him. As timed pass I tried to stray away from him but it would not work. We begin talking more and more spending even more time together. After about only about three months I found out I was pregnant.!!!! I didn’t know what to do I was scared!!! He wanted me to have it but I just didn’t know what to do, I think I was more afraid of having it and losing him. After about three months I decided NOT to have it….. He didn’t talk to me for about two weeks after making that decision. We started back talking. But it wasn’t the same he begin talking back to his previous gf and he begin to lie and etc. And I started back talking to my child’s father. But we still couldn’t seem to stay completely away from one another. I just couldn’t stand the fact that I actually felt this way about someone that I hadn’t even known six months yet and I HATED that we weren’t together just felt like i’ve always known him but the timing was just OFF!! I kept asking myself WHY didn’t I meet him years ago? Why did I feel like this about him? Why cant we be together? BUT I NEVER told him any of this! Why did we even meet if we weren’t going to be as one? What was the point??? All my friends said I was obsessed or stuck or something I mean I’ve never never never ever felt this strongly attached to someone, we’d just stare into each others eyes all the time. Everything I felt he felt he would tell me and I would be SHOCKED!!!Then about two months after that I decided to move away about eight hours away to another state. Now I’m not with my child’s father and I have decided to cut off any access with him also. But crazy how I STILL cant stop thinking about him and I even regret not having that child. I don’t know what to do? What do you suggest. Because even though I’m far away from him I feel as if he’s right here and I want him to be so BADLY!!! But I’m afraid that maybe I met him in a past life and he wasn’t right for me that’s why I want to stay away but if that is so why is he all I think about all my heart wants!!!!!!!!!!? “HELP”??!!

    • Hello, Sheena! What a story. Whew. While reading it, I noticed little gaps in the telling, things I’m curious about, tiny facts that might sway the whole argument one way or another. But that “freakish” attraction, the strength of it, we could put in place by pointing out that it is normal to feel this strongly about someone with whom we have shared previous lives, for better or for worse. Perhaps the odd thing here is you going back to the guy that you seemed to feel very little about, except that he is the father of your daughter. Maybe a so-so kind of “love”?

      I have never been a parent, and never experienced a pregnancy or abortion, so I can only assume that such involvements also have a strong influence on your feelings and perceptions, and may have caused you to go through so much confusion with these two men. All of these are reasons I could never tell you what decisions are right for you. Maybe I can help you by giving you a different perspective on your life as a whole? Especially since you are so young, when it’s hard to have the long view but perhaps when you need it most!

      Sit and think about the fact that, if you have lived before–and your experience should convince of knowing at least one person in one previous lifetime–then you will live again. So your present lifetime is all about clearing up old unresolved imbalances with other people, and improving your own state of mind about life in general. Increasing your knowledge and especially, your wisdom. How do we do that? Through life experience. And through thinking of ourselves as one tiny piece that fits into a very grand Whole Universe. But it’s an essential, important piece. What we do, connected as we are to all others, will affect the entire Universe! Yes, indeed! So if we harm others, we harm ourselves ultimately, because it all remains permanently inscribed within our Being and becomes the fabric of our future lives. And so on! I’m saying, what you do matters greatly — to you, to these two guys, to your children, and to all others, because you are either adding something loving and good to the universe, or you are taking goodness away and leaving a dark splotch.

      Ask yourself, “If I follow the bidding of my heart and try to contact this guy, will it bring goodness to me, to my future, to my children and their future, and to the entire Universe?” Because whatever happened between you in the past (both present and past lives) cannot be changed, but the future is in your hands at this moment. It’s very possible you cannot know the answer to that question without trying to speak with him. And this time, I hope, if you do decide to try that, you will be honest and open and tell him as much as you have just told all of us!! And more. You can’t hope to have a wonderful partnership bond unless you have free and open communication with one another, communication that goes both ways.

      Don’t know if I’ve helped, but I do thank you for sharing your story with us! Every single story shared here helps us all. My very best wishes to you, Sheena. Let us know what you decide! Because we’ll all be wondering what happens next … 🙂

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes that helped a whole Lott!!!!! Thanx!! I will figure out what I’ll have to do.. And be sure to let you know soon as I know!!

  86. Michelle says:

    Hi, I have a kinda crazy story…:) Where do I start? :). So basically, I am a straight female and have two gay friends whom I feel we all three are oddly connected, maybe we were family in a previous life? My one friend Chris I met through high school and he met our other friend Juan at work a long time ago. So i have known them for a while however i recently became close with Juan recently and we have been like best friends. Everyone always thought Chris and Juan look alike and are a lot alike and people thought Chris and I looked alike. Well, now people think Juan and I look like brother and sisters, we are so much alike and it’s insane, everything from our gestures, how we look, talk, saying things at same time. I also had a similar relationship with them both. They are gay however I feel they are attracted to me and maybe bi-curious. Well, Chris wanted to sleep with me and we did a couple times long time ago. Now, Juan is the same way however we didn’t do anything. I am attracted to them both however sadly so into Juan. Juan really flirts, teases me and asked me to sleep with him. I was trying not to repeat with Juan how I was with Chris. I slept with him and fell in love and he is gay. I regret oddly not taking Juan on his offers to make out, etc however I was guarding my heart. Maybe they both hurt me in past. However, Juan and Chris are soooo alike, omg even their past experiences of both being raped by an uncle and they are two different families. Their experiences are so identical.

    • Hi Michelle! Oh what tangled webs [women] weave!! Okay, you have definitely described the sort of complications we humans get into, whether we know about past lives or not.

      Surely you have all known one another before, as you said. That part is easy. I’m not sure you were asking me a question here but I can provide some observations from my interdimensional perspective that might — hopefully will — help you, since you were so generous to share your story, demonstrating the continuity of consciousness from life to life.

      I want you to realize that, whatever you do with either of these friends in the present, it will regenerate into your future lifetimes when you all meet up again, whether that’s one at a time or all together as you are now. In other words, what traits and checks and balances do you want to carry over? Are you treating one another well? Do you share respect? Have balanced give and take? Honesty? See, the sexual orientations are manifestations of the past that have carried over into the present. But in a future life, your genders and sexual preferences may be all shifted around and who knows what they will be. Yet the way you treat one another in the present will replay in the future, until and unless you do something to change those things. I suppose this is a more complicated way of saying, practice the Golden Rule! That was observation #1.

      Observation #2: Why are you getting your heart and body so deeply involved with two men, neither of whom will likely remain lifelong romantic partners with you? This is similar to falling in love with someone who is geographically unsuited, or with the celibate priest, or even (in the old days) married to another. You didn’t mention if Chris and Juan have a romantic relationship between them, or with others, which adds another layer of unavailability.

      What I’m saying is that you seem to have a pattern of “protecting” yourself from long-term involvement. I would guess that if your heart wasn’t broken early in the present life in one way or another, then it certainly was in prior lifetime(s). In fact, if it was in the present, then that, too, was probably a continuity from prior lifetimes because it is a very strong pattern with you. You might want to give this some deep consideration.

      Do you want to carry on like this, in this ultimately lonely way, for now and all future lives? You and you alone can break such a pattern. You CAN do it! Now, if the impetus for the bicurious relationship is coming from one of your friends, then he, too, has some confusion based on past-life patterns and should consider that it’s unfair to toy with your heart if he cannot commit. And now I feel I am overstepping my boundaries. I only wished to bring up some issues for the three of you to consider.

      It is wonderful to have really good friends like this, and I’m happy for you for that. However, take note of the ways in which this particular situation, if substituted for a truly committed partnership in the bedroom, could be a case of using one another to protect oneself. In other words, the hurt from this casual sex with a professed gay man might be less and more easily justified than the hurt you may have previously experienced (and fear to repeat) from a lasting, balanced, heterosexual romance. Perhaps you must consider some old traumas, and heal those wounds, before you’re emotionally ready to risk a real give-and-take relationship? The tools for healing past life wounds are out there! And within. If this is your situation, seek them out! They can change your life. By the way, I was also raped by an uncle in this lifetime, and it was a continuity from prior lives. (You can read all about it in my book, Speed Your Evolution.) Past life therapy and a loving, lasting relationship have helped me heal!

      Namaste to you and your friends!

      • Michelle says:

        I really appreciate your comment, feedback, and your time so so much! Thank you so much! I am in a relationship now with a straight man lol however not sure it’s the one for me, not so passionate. Juan is now jealous of this relationship. Even my boyfriend is saying Juan checks me out and I’ve never told him about Juan and I and our relationship.

        I have been reading books by Brian Weiss on past lives and wondering if Juan and I are connected somehow in a past life. I feel I’ve known him centuries and I’m so attached with him and lost without him. Gosh it’s so hard. I’m moving on and pretending to be happy in a relationship while the one I want I will never have. I wonder if it’s a pattern repeated in past lives, perhaps I’ve always wanted him and he was always out of reach or maybe he was a relative of mine or a lover of mine.

        • Michelle, I just wanted to caution you (and other readers) about using your conscious mind to try to figure out past life histories. It is so tempting! But the conscious mind is actually more like a switchboard that integrates sensory input from the exterior world with our internal world of memory, experience, and inspiration and life force flowing into us from the Creator or Creative Intelligence, however you view that. It’s a trickster, when it comes to these things.

          A much better approach you can learn from my book (Speed Your Evolution), with chapter by chapter exercises developing your insight and improving your psychic link to your Cosmic Helpers who will essentially drop the information directly into your mind if it will help you to know. It might appear in a dream or a sudden flashback, or in some other clever way, but if you do hit on the truth of a past life incident, you will feel and recognize it by your instant, unthinking reaction: tears, hot flashes, chills, a deep inner knowing, etc. Everyone is different, and every incident is different. It just won’t come from sitting around thinking about it and trying on different roles.

          I wish I could say otherwise, but this is the truth of my experience and the experience of countless others I have known. And one more very important thing: Your Cosmic Helpers will not provide this past life information to you unless (a) you are spiritually prepared to deal with it constructively and (b) knowing will help your personal evolutionary development and progress.

          We’ve each had so many past lives, that if we could know details of all of them, we’d be inundated with more trivia than you can gather in a night on Facebook! Do you understand? It would be too much, too overwhelming, and would not serve any good purpose for you. In most cases where there is some need, it is sufficient to know that you’ve shared a past (as with you and Juan), and perhaps to identify a pattern if one is blatantly evident.

          As for the inspired information that comes to you, most people ignore or miss it. You must give yourself the benefit of the doubt; in other words, if something comes to you without effort, believe it. My book explains thoroughly how to validate and test such information. I’m afraid it’s too much to put into a blog post reply!

          I wish you, Juan, and your new boyfriend all the best in creating the most positive, productive, and beneficial life you can in the present! 🙂 Onward and forward! And thanks again for sharing your story. It means so much to us all.

    • Alex says:

      I Know for a fact I lived many lives and meet a lot people but there some who I meet in this life, I very close with its like I known him all my life and I felt like he was like my brother, it’s strange, though I’m 26 he’s 20 he’s my best friend, whenever I am around him I feel safe, and when we talk its like we never left each other and kept going. he’s alwaye wwatching my back. And out of everyone I encounter he bought me something for my birthday, and ask nothing in return I started crying , cuz no ones ever given me anything it’s usually me, I’m very protected of him, but its same with him , heck I even had dreams of him in another life that we were soilders and he always watch over me, and make sure I was safe. I feel strong and more confident we aren’t related different backgrounds, different views, but somehow we we are the same,

      • Treasure that friend, Alex. You are building a wonderful lifetimes-long relationship we term a “polarity relationship.” It transcends genders and social roles; it lasts lifetimes; and yes, it will provide a pool of strength between you that will make you both better. You can draw upon this energy, but be sure to keep it fueled with respect, balanced give-and-take, and whenever in future lives you hit upon shared goals, you will be unstoppable. Love and congratulations to you both! 🙂

        • Alex says:

          Yeah he’s awesome if I can say the least to me he’s my friend brother and hero and the one person I will alwaysrespect, like I said I had many lives, ha I only remember few but there people in my life, that I will always treasure, weather there from my past life, even the Bad ones I love everyone and forgive them, 🙂 each experience helped me grow from the soul to something greater you know.

  87. Courtney says:

    Hi. I need help. I keep having past lovers from this life keep showing up. I think about them and bam they appear. It has been this way my whole life. My sister thinks I’m very powerful and I am manifesting them. I am a Pisces and all these past lovers are water signs as well. So confused!! Is this possible?

    • Hello, Courtney! Yes, it is entirely possible that you would think of someone and they show up. Or call. Or manifest in your life in some other way.

      The energy principle behind this is, in my lingo, “frequency relationship.” You see, your mind is like an old-fashioned radio, or a modern computer connected to the Internet. When you type something into Google, it pulls up all the information related to what you typed, right? (Or a better analogy is the old radio: When you set the dial at a particular frequency, that’s the broadcast you receive.) So it’s not that you’re a Pisces, or that you have a lot of present-life lovers, so many that they are crowding around, waiting their turn to show up on your doorstep. 🙂 It’s that you, like any one of us might do, have “set your dial” at their frequency, not realizing what you have done. They, in turn, are very connected to you because of your past associations, which undoubtedly created a strong mental linkage with these individuals. Without realizing it consciously, their little energy systems (which is all that we truly are) respond to your signal. They may suddenly have you come into their thoughts, and when they think of you, they might decide to visit. It’s not mystical at all! (Hope that doesn’t disappoint too many people.) It is a result of the fact that we are energy beings and we connect with one another through the principles that govern all energy transactions, in this case a linkage based on shared harmonic frequencies. So be careful what you think about because — bam! — it will appear, as you said.

      Now, please don’t go practicing a kind of voodoo that some people fall into, where they TRY to attract certain things by chanting over and over in their minds. That will lead you into another energy principle of consciousness: self-hypnosis. You don’t want to go there. In that state, you become vulnerable to very negative influences.

      And please tell your sister that, if you are very powerful, then she is too. Because she (and everyone) has the very same capability! We are radio broadcast and receiving stations, and this is how we truly connect with one another. It’s just that most people don’t pay attention when it happens, so they don’t realize how common and often this occurs.

      Thanks for posting your question, Courtney! And my very best to you — and yours. All of them! 😉

      P.S. If you don’t want them to show up, of course, stop thinking about them.

  88. Kavya says:

    I am a hindu girl and believe strongly in reincarnation. I have had memories that i believe are from past lives. I am in an unhappy relationship with my bf, but I am not able to let go off him. Meanwhile, I feel a strong mutual connection and a strong mutual attraction with a man I hung out only for 2 weeks!! We did not talk after those 2 weeks interaction at a summer camp. But I feel a very strong emotional bond with him even now as if ‘he was mine all the while’. I look at his pics and feel like cmon man, I know you’re mine…

    I am a very strong minded girl and never fall for anyone so easily, (except my current boyfriend). I met many awesome guys who were interested in me, but this one guy who I knew and hung out only for 2 weeks, seems to have an everlasting impact on me my mind my heart. But i can’t leave my current bf, cz I dont know!! Feeling horribly emotional!!

    Please reply… 🙂

    • Hello Kavya! I still do not understand why people remain in unhappy relationships when they have the choice to end them. (“I am in an unhappy relationship with my bf, but I am not able to let go of him.”)

      You know, of course, that this is well beyond my expertise, your need to make such decisions. I will just send you a boost of big positive energy to give you the courage to make the right choices! Your heart knows what is right for you — and only your heart, not mine. 🙂 Hugs! We all must find that inner courage to live the best life we know how to live. You can do it!

  89. Monya Palmer says:

    I have been crying for 3 years… living with a broken heart… not knowing how to live in this life…. I know I do not belong here… that my now forbidden love been my undying love from another lifetime

  90. marilynyhealthscience says:

    I and this guy accidentally had sex. It was during that that I remember hey, we have done this before, I remember your voice, you, despite its our first few minutes, he said, you. You. We are so very different in age, thinking etc. I hate past life and finding out someone you thought was just another day turned out to be that. My impression is that past life is past, we shouldnt play that part this life.

    • And now you have learned that there is no such thing as an “accident”!

      “This guy and you” have done this before, you say? If you do not steer your own ship consciously, making choices that suit your present life, then the interdimensional principles of energy that govern how we store and replay incidents from the past will definitely step in to steer your ship for you! In other words, your past will repeat, exactly as it has always done, over and over again until YOU step in with your new perspectives (learned from your many lives) and do something to change that old pattern.

      It wasn’t an “accident” at all. It was your past repeating itself in the present. So if, as you say, you wish to leave the past behind you, you’re going to have to exert the power of your focus, mind, and intention for the present. Don’t “accidentally” do anything! Because it won’t be an accident, it will be a repetition of what you’ve done and who you have been before. And where’s the growth and excitement in that? Bor-ring. And stifling. Degenerative. We are evolutionary beings! We must keep growing and changing! And while you’re at it, I know you were probably writing this on your phone, but this author insists you get it right: “This guy and I.” 🙂 Love you! Exert yourself to be a new you! You will be proud, and happier.

  91. A says:

    Dear Lianne
    I have asked a question before.Now I am here with another query.Will u please tell me more about telepathic abuse?
    I am asking this question because I feel i am abused telepathically by someone.I delt a strong surge of attraction with a man once,i tried to get rid of him from my mind.He is not having any such feelings for me…What happened after is that i suffered in studies.My marks came down.I was the top scorer of my class and now i can’t even pass for my exams.
    Please please please be kind to reply me.

    • Cosmic Brother says:

      I recommend putting yourself into a state of mind that cannot be accessed by evil entities. Everyone has a different way of doing this. Some use prayer, others watch movies that make them laugh. Or you could try dancing, hanging out with friends who cheer you up. Smile. Sing. Share a meal with loved ones where the food is prepared with love, by you for yourself or others for you or you for others. If you are having fun, doing things you love doing and feeling that joy, he will not be able to reach you. Make yourself into a flame and moths attracted to you will burn.

  92. Anonymous says:

    Emanuela says:
    March 25, 2015 at 11:55 AM
    I stared to believe in reincarnation since I was in high school…. . There are many truths in your 12 ways to identify love…etc .
    Recently, something interesting is happening with my daughter and I . I am still trying to pin point what is it…what is the message?
    Few months ago, my 16 years old daughter became friend with a 17 year old boy that leaves in Wales. We live in NJ, US . SInce I am aware of all this social media and the possible implications, I made sure that it is a safe friendship .
    They sing together,laugh together , tell each other their day to day stories or their pain. The boy more than my daughter seems to open up . I am in the room sometimes when they chat and since I heard his voice, I felt a strange connection to him, the same when I saw his face… . Whit out me telling anything to my daughter, she mentioned few times to me that she feels that she knows him “since forever”, then she told me that first they met without even seeing each other but just hearing each other voice while in this website that you can contact strangers based on what you like …in their case music and jokes on youtube . They didn’t exchange emails or anything but the boy kept looking for her on that website until they found each other again.
    I just feel such at peace when I hear his voice, but at the same time I have a deep sadness when he is not in touch with my daughter to the point that I feel it in my stomach.My daughter send two postcards to him and she would love to keep this friendship / pen pal friend but she thinks that if they don’t manage to meet each other in person soon, they friendship might stop .
    Nothing inappropriate and sexual is going on over here but a strange closeness between them and between me( since I feel so strongly about this boy) . She is interested to know if it can be any past life connection…I am from Romania, his great grandpa from mom side is from former Yugoslavia( border w Romania), his grandma from mom side is a mix of Yugoslavian and italian but the father of the boy is welsh . Curiously, the picture of his maternal grandma when young resembles a lot with my mother when she was young …. .
    Should I advise her in any way? thank you , Emanuela
    My email is

  93. Emanuela says:

    I stared believe in reincarnation since I was in high school…. . There are many truths in your 12 ways to identify love…etc .
    Recently, something interesting is happening with my daughter and I . I am still trying to pin point what is it…what is the message?
    Few months ago, my 16 years old daughter became friend with a 17 year old boy that leaves in Wales. We live in NJ, US . SInce I am aware of all this social media and the possible implications, I made sure that it is a safe friendship .
    They sing together,laugh together , tell each other their day to day stories or their pain. The boy more than my daughter seems to open up . I am in the room sometimes when they chat and since I heard his voice, I felt a strange connection to him, the same when I saw his face… . Whit out me telling anything to my daughter, she mentioned few times to me that she feels that she knows him “since forever”, then she told me that first they met without even seeing each other but just hearing each other voice while in this website that you can contact strangers based on what you like …in their case music and jokes on youtube . They didn’t exchange emails or anything but the boy kept looking for her on that website until they found each other again.
    I just feel such at peace when I hear his voice, but at the same time I have a deep sadness when he is not in touch with my daughter to the point that I feel it in my stomach.My daughter send two postcards to him and she would love to keep this friendship / pen pal friend but she thinks that if they don’t manage to meet each other in person soon, they friendship might stop .
    Nothing inappropriate and sexual is going on over here but a strange closeness between them and between me( since I feel so strongly about this boy) . She is interested to know if it can be any past life connection…I am from Romania, his great grandpa from mom side is from former Yugoslavia( border w Romania), his grandma from mom side is a mix of Yugoslavian and italian but the father of the boy is welsh . Curiously, the picture of his maternal grandma when young resembles a lot with my mother when she was young …. .
    Should I advise her in any way? thank you , Emanuela

    • Hello, Emanuela. Isn’t it fascinating, the way our paths cross with one another, finding each other even when we’re born in different countries? Imagine how many people we have known in some way in prior lifetimes, since we have all lived thousands of them. And you know, when it comes to past lives, they can be thousands of years distant, and yet feel as if it was just yesterday!

      So the fact that you and your daughter may have known this boy long, long ago is less important, to me, than what you each choose to do in the present lifetime. If this boy and your daughter have planned any future life together, they will know, and they will manage to make that happen — without help from anyone! But we must all remember that your daughter is only 16, and he is only 17. I have read recent scientific studies that say young people’s brains do not fully mature until they are in their 20s (even though when we are teenagers, we believe they have). You wouldn’t want your daughter to make a lasting choice at so young an age. If their friendship is meant to last, or grow, it will, as they mature. You should not concern yourself about their relationship, unless, as you have already mentioned, you felt she was in any kind of physical or psychological danger. And you have assured us that all is well, on those counts. I am glad you have kept some close eye on her for those reasons. But, aside from having interesting discussions about the continuity of life, from life to life, please do not push or interfere in a romantic relationship between these two. All in all, it will be a wonderful opportunity–just as friends–for the two of them (and you) to marvel over the forces of energy that bring souls back into contact with one another. Otherwise, you must let them find their own way.

      Someone else has just asked me why two souls who have been romantic partners would ever come back as parent and child, brother and sister, etc. — why not always remain lovers? Well, that is how we learn. By having many different sorts of relationships. I’m not sure how far down this thread the comment was, but I am going to go off and answer it in more detail now.

      Meanwhile, you allow your daughter to enjoy her youthful friendship, without allowing your own emotions to get too involved. Perhaps this discussion will be a true eye-opener for the three of you; you as parent, they as teenagers just beginning to learn about themselves and their future life on this planet. Oh–and I wouldn’t try too hard to figure out who was who. We tend to get ourselves confused that way. The past is the past–it’s today that matters most! 🙂 Would you be surprised to know that most of the people in your life, you have known before? Thank you so much for sharing this story!

  94. geanina says:

    searching for answers, I would love to talk to you, I am going through something similar…if you wish, please contact me, my email is

    • Dear geanina! If u r really and genuinely going through sumthing unusual and confusing u shud post ur experience and queries here or anywhere else from where u believe to get an appropriate and satisfactory answer. I m neither an intuitive and insightful person, nor having any spiritual or psychic powers to offer u a guidance. I m confused with my own experience and trying to locate wat learning divine is offering me through this experience. A blind person cant show right path to the othr blind person, right. U shud seek help of divine and spiritual personalities on the matter.

  95. Hi! The things i hav said earlier r all true. I know i shud hav posted my question on a specific site for telepathic abuse. But the reason of posting my queries regarding telepathic connection, abuse, or love watever it is, is only this, i m curious to know whether this unusual connection which has happened in my life, has anything to do with my past life karma or past life relation with this mysterious man?? In today’s time almost everybody surfs net, can get fascinated by posts on the subject of his interest, can feel attraction towards the blogger or writer, i m an ordinary person of same type. Then why i have been chosen for this extraordinary, strange, mysterious and unusual connection with a strange man to whom i hav never ever met personally, who lives miles away from me, speaks a different language which i dont understand and who is almost double of my age!! Actually in initial days of knowing him i did a telepathic trick on him. I know that was my mistake. I read on internet, a technique of touching sumone through telepahy to attract his attention and to make him feel attracted. I applied the trick on him without knowing that he is a MASTER OF THIS ART!
    In the beginning of connection, everything seemed to be right and real fun i was experiencing different type of sensations!! But gradually this secretive man started disclosing cruel side of his personality. I dont know wat pleasure anyone can derive in giving pain to othrs. And i m always with this question that why ppl who seem to be spiritual, do unethical things? This question is unanswered yet.

    Anyways if u can beleive that the things i m telling r true and real, not my illusion or creation of an insane mind and if possibility of this man of being channel or carrier of ghosts or astral entities is kept at bay, then can i get an answer sumhow that why a complete stranger to me in this life has stuck to me badly, not in anyhow ready to leave me, sends v effective and powerful positive peace giving vibes wen i m in distress but most of the othr time enjoy giving me pain. Wat can be the reason of a complete stranger’s such a strange behaviour??
    I hav already taken ur so much time it wud be ok if u dont answer this!! Thank U!!

    • Okay, let’s try to answer it this way. Let’s accept that the telepathy connection is functioning as you say. You have now supplied a key bit of evidence that you didn’t supply before: You initiated the open-door connection with this individual. You willingly sought out the telepathic link, something that you do not fully, scientifically understand and hence, you were playing at something you probably should not have played at. But now, you have this open mental door between you. It is not a good thing, as you have described. No part of this connection has benefited you, truly, and I hope you realize that by now.

      Forget what his public persona is (of a “spiritual person”). As to that, it is unfortunately too common that such individuals are not what they seem, especially those who are personally benefiting financially, ego-wise, or otherwise, and who gather large crowds of followers who seem to enhance their ego stature. True spiritual leaders do not have egos that inflate under such situations.

      The hapless “leader” who is self-serving and selfishly motivated often attracts astral entities (or spirits) of a less noble, or of a lower nature that you would not wish to associate with. “By their fruits, shall ye know them.” They may not realize they have associated themselves and are being directed and guided by these astral influencers, it happens so easily for us all to open this mental connection. We all have created connections with others, over the course of many lifetimes, that extend into non-physical worlds; we must still choose our company carefully, just as if we were inviting these people into our homes.

      In fact, all such connections from mind to mind involve many dimensional layers of energetic communication. I do not want to get too scientific with that here; you can read my books for more information on the subject. But in your present case, that inter-dimensional communication does open up the door to countless astral beings who may oscillate in compatibly with both you and the public figure. Thus, you are both swimming in a very dangerous and sometimes destructive open pool, wherein you have invited in anyone and everyone who is associated with this man to join you both. Not wise. And now you have evidence that their influence, and his, are doing you harm. What more do you need to prompt you to cut off this influence?

      I am not saying that this man knows that astral forces are working with him. You have told me almost nothing about this man’s work in the world, if he actually benefits people. But your description of your personal experience is not that of an association with a positive Worker of the Light or worker who serves humanity. They do not allow such influence as you describe to occur. Anyone who does is much, much lower in their purpose and development and not someone one would want to connect with.

      I am glad you were open to understand the role of astral beings in this connection. It is extremely important to fully understand what is happening to you. I repeat: You must sever this connection, break it off, undo what you did initially to begin this mental link. And I suggest you stop playing with this kind of thing until you learn more of the mental science behind it. I have mentioned several books that can teach you, those of Ernest L. Norman, or my own.

      As for past lives, yes, of course everything you are and believe and do in the present moment is the result of all of your past life experiences. So that could easily have included some connection with this man that led you to your present circumstance. However, it could also mean that you have a habit of inviting total strangers into your mind and life! Such as me! You have asked me repeatedly for my advice, and I am most uncomfortable serving as any kind of guru for others, for all the reasons that I have just described. I don’t mind answering questions about the science of past lives, but I much prefer that you seek answers to all questions within yourself.

      You have a good, questioning mind. So be careful of whom you invite to tell you what to do or to control you in any way! No matter what their public reputation. You cannot know the person’s true nature until you are more closely involved, as you have proven so well.

      BUT remember! A past life connection with that specific individual, if such existed, does not mean that you cannot cut the tie now!!! You always have this choice. You made the initial choice to link up telepathically, and I cannot stress strongly enough that you must make that choice to slam the door now. I hope this clarifies my answers for you.

      • Thank u for answering! The man about whom i talk is a multidimensional healer. He uses different healing techniques according to situation and Psyche of the seeker. He uses his intuition power (i think so) to decide which healing technique wud be appropriate for a given situation. He uses techniques like EFT NLP, colour therapy, chakra balancing, reiki, reiki past life healing etc etc. He operates a site, where ppl ask for solution of their life problems and he gives solutions free of cost. Mostly he suggests sum chants to the questioners and some claim to experience miracles by using his remedies. He writes on different topics such as spirituality, meditation etc etc and seems to hav philosophical and unique approach towards life. He suggests philosophical & remedial ways to handle life problems and to lead life full of gratitude, forgiveness and divinity. He prepares cds to heal different problems. I cant describe more as feeling bored now and more description can reveal his identity also, which i dont want!
        If leave apart his tortures sumtimes he sends sum healing energy too, not sure but i think it cud be reiki. He is very intelligent, intellectual and philosophical person. Having imense knowledge of spirituality (I easily get fascinated with thess qualities.) That’s why i get confused about wat he says and wat he does. His actions seem to be extreme contradictory to wat he writes. I cant prove anything about his actions, i can just feel. I think he is not much money minded but hav a fondness for women. And i think this fondness is leading him to the sinful path of misusing his mental/spiritual powers and psychic abilities. And i think as he cant approach women directly for lustful activities because of his prestigious reputation, that’s why he has chosen this unique way to appease his such interests.
        Ok! Dont want to irritate u more!!
        Thanx for reading!!!

        • And just want to add that since my childhood i hav cum in contact with many real, true and great saints who had achieved god realisation. And my spiritual master from whom i hav been initiated in the path of spirituality doesnt belong to this universe, he is ond with god. I m finding it difficult to believe that any wrong person can cum in my life! In other sense, wrong persons can cum in my life as per my karmas but i trust myself to the extent, that i cant get involved with any kind of wrong person with such an intensity. I do believe in my intution. That’s why i m more confused about this man.

          • hey says:

            I had simular situation with a tarot site scary true and bad things started to happen but I cut off contact

  96. EDP says:

    But the one in my life is a beautiful, fully compatible coupling where we both feel that we have loved each other for many, many lifetimes and that we keep coming together in various situations, genders, types of relationships, not because we owe each other anything in a karmic sense, but that we made a vow to always find each other again, to always love each other again, and to always be inseparable again, and that we renew this vow with every lifetime. We have our fights, and our disagreements, and times when we rub each other the wrong way, but we apologize quickly, please each other with joy, and can’t get enough of each other. We can’t possibly be the only ones with this feeling and sense?

    • I certainly hope you are not the only ones with this feeling. I certainly share this kind of relationship with my husband. That is what I call a true polarity relationship. It is beautiful, and I am happy for you both! Thank you so much for posting your comment! 😀

      • EDP says:

        One thing I wonder about though, and I’d be interested in your opinion, is why would people who love each other ever come back differently in each life? Why not always come back in the same age group, same gender, same type of relationship? For example, why would lovers or a married couple of a similar age come back in another life as, say, brother and sister, or parent and child (both would be where the two parties could never be lovers and in the latter example the age difference is very large)? Or vice versa? (the relationship was blood, but come back in another life as lovers or marriage partners).

        • That is an excellent question! Thank you for asking it! You have to step back quite a ways and look at your many lifetimes as a continuous evolution of consciousness, a development of your mind and soul, with your ultimate purpose to become more godlike in nature, to develop into a being of positive, humanitarian wisdom who contributes to the Whole as a constructive force in the universe. (And that’s putting it simply!) Along the way, you will develop many such relationships that have been tried, tested, and proven in the fires of experience. These bonds are priceless. We call them “polarity relationships.” The purpose of all that varied experience together is to develop your compatibility on all levels. I have this kind of relationship with my husband, and we know of many such associations down through the ages. We provide one another with strength, now, and a pool of positive, harmonious energy between us that we can draw upon. Watch for a new book from me/us soon about this very topic! 🙂 You’ll find more info on my own blog, coming soon. If you only ever came back and related to one another in the same gender, same relationship each time … you would not learn nearly as much! And you would eventually fall out of balance.

          • EDP says:

            Yes but would that not cause problems between people who are currently lovers but come back in another relationship where physical love is not permissible in our culture? It creates awkward questions. Would it not cause confusion as to, for example, “why were we brother and sister in a previous life, but now in this life we’re lovers?”, or “why were we lovers in a previous life, but now mother and daughter?” Sexual tension would obviously have to continue over into the next life because sexuality is a very natural part of humanity, but confusion and puzzlement would naturally ensue. My partner and I believe we were actually related in our past life. Does this mean that we desired each other then, and decided to pursue it in this life? It’s confusing to us.

            • Again, these are excellent questions. The strength of any sexual tension depends on the individuals. Two souls who love and respect one another will generally behave as appropriate to their present-life role. Even scientific studies have verified that we are chemically programmed to be sexually indifferent or repelled by individuals of similar genetic structure (such as siblings). Although it does happen, it is rare for that sexual attraction or physical desire to arise in those situations, no matter your past life history, once you are incarnated in genetically similar bodies. Your own higher selves are, after a certain point in your evolutionary development, guiding and aiding you to choose and to behave in keeping with your new roles in relationship to one another.

              However, in our society we do witness incidents in which individuals are so strongly compelled by past life history, they violate society’s “norms” and/or common sense and appropriateness. Thus we have rape and incest, which is rarely mutual and not based on happy loving connections or even sexual desire. We also find relationships with large age differences, or between teacher and student, or boss and employee relationships, where there are imbalances of power, and complications and confusions. Very often sexual activity has nothing whatsoever to do with love and respect, as you well know, and can be more about power, control, insecurity, violence, and a host of other complicated emotions. The threads of this activity extend back into past life incidents that might have had nothing to do with developing a positive polarity between two souls, but might have a darker history unrelated to sexual relations. Sad! But true. I speak as a victim of incestuous rape when I was very very young, hidden in repressed memory until my adult years when it was verified to me and explained. The past life roots of that incident were more about revenge than physical attraction of a grown man for an infant. Human beings are so complex in their physical and emotional make-up that we cannot easily sit back and pass judgment on any such activities, especially when we do not know the history of these individuals from lifetime to lifetime.

              But generally, a couple such as you, working together to build a positive, harmonious association of many lifetimes, will feel the appropriate attitude toward one another when they are incarnated as family members or in other associations. If we are a healthy individual in control of our present and progressing along a spiritual pathway in our longer-term evolution, we will incarnate with specific objectives and missions to resolve in our personal development. We may make plans and agreements. If we expect to meet a past lover in a different sort of association, we have likely prepared ourselves with many safeguards and objectives to behave accordingly. That is not to say that we would never slip up! But in any such lives, we would learn a great deal about the consequences of our actions, and in future lives would hopefully carry these lessons with us.

              My husband and I are aware of numerous lives of varied associations, in some of which we were lovers and in many we were friends or family. They have all made our association richer and deeper. In fact, he suggested that I share a link to an article I have written about how we all trade genders from life to life, and why, making us all essentially “Gender Neutral.” Here’s the link:

              Thank you for your comments and excellent questions! I hope this helps to put your minds at ease. Enjoy the fruits of your labors to create this loving partnership!

  97. nancy says:

    Hii this is nancy…I believe in past life,life after death so and so…I’m married to a guy from past 12 yr have a kids too.. my marriage was actually happen by force…even though I didn’t like him I lived with him although this is years..meanwhile form past 4 yr I met a guy on fb.let’s name him as x…on the very first day I saw his profile picture…I felt like I have seen him before…for the first 3 months we use to chat a lot…after that a connection was cut without reason…and again after an year without my sense tight bondage was built between me and x….first time when I heard his voice and first time I met him,I felt butterfly feelings in me…our friendship turned in love..My husband is a good guy…but up till now u couldn’t build up a love feel on him…even if I come to a personal (sex)life…I’m not able to satisfy him…I feel complete imbalanced with him…but one I had dated my friend x I didn’t have that feel…I was free to him….I know I’m doing wrong…I don’t want to go in the wrong path…I’m totally in confusion. ..I have heard about every moment of life, and the every person we meet are all planned by the soul in soul plan before taking a birth….is that true….is Mr x whom I met have a tight bondage is that because of reason. .

    • Here’s a soul who seems to be learning some difficult lessons about human relationships. She may have chosen these difficulties to resolve past-life mistakes she has made. Or she may have simply been drawn into this situation because that is how our energy bodies function according to interdimensional principles of frequency and harmonic relationship. Put simply, without knowledge of these principles, we are automatically drawn back to the “scene of the crime,” so to speak. If we have harmed others, we will meet them again.

      Nancy, your English is so broken we are challenged to understand your story. But it comes to me that the words you have chosen may say something about your prior lifetimes and a history you may have had with human slavery. First you do not say your marriage was arranged but that it happened “by force.” Then when you describe your lover, you twice used the words “tight bondage.” (I assume you meant “bond,” not the term as used for sexual perversion.) Forced marriage, bondage (which also means slavery) to your boyfriend — these are not words of shared love, commitment, joy, happiness, respect, and peace. These are very troubled relationships, through which you have the opportunity to learn a better way of relating to other human beings.

      Do we choose every person we will meet in a single lifetime? Not likely, is it? All depending on your advancement as a soul, you may or may not have previously arranged these two particular relationships. What matters most right now, however, is how you will conduct yourself in the present. That will influence how your future lifetimes unfold for you. Do your best to treat these individuals with love, respect, honor, commitment, and honesty.

      I do not understand the concept of “forced marriage.” In my country of the United States, such a thing would probably be illegal! So the only way I can understand your difficult situation is that you must be in it for a very good reason. Make the most of your time, learn all you can, and strive always to improve your life, because life is continuous. What you do today will become your future. It matters far less, in your situation, whether you knew either of them before. What matters is to learn more of yourself, what may have caused you to be caught in such a situation. Your own actions in prior lifetimes that brought you to this present life are what should concern you most. Ask within yourself, and the answers will come to you.

  98. Hi, i hav felt a kind of strong attraction or crush & emotional attachment for soo many different ppl who came in my life. I like to know the concept of feeling attraction for sumone, always belong to past life relations or is it sumthing to do with that person’s own personal magnetism or influential aura??
    Means can it be so that an individual possesses a high vibrational magnetic aura which pulls everyone towards him?? Or is it so that only thos, who, in any way belong to him through past lives will feel a pull towards him??

    • My husband Joseph actually pointed out something about this question, Searching, that I think is quite valid. If a person with a lot of magnetism or charisma draws your attention, then it is probably some quality in you that you have developed over the course of your many lifetimes, something that they represent to you in the present or that they remind you of, not necessarily that you had a personal connection to that individual.

      In other words, it’s very similar to your preference for or attraction to anything, such as a type of food. Do you love potatoes? Then you’ve developed that taste over many lifetimes of happily associating with potatoes. Do you hate tomatoes? Then you’ve likely had some bad experiences with them in a prior life, if your disgust for them is very strong for no present-life reason.

      This is grossly oversimplified, of course, but the point is that it’s a quality within YOU that is attracted to a quality within the other person, that creates this kind of “adoration from afar” or attraction to person, place, or thing. It might be that such an individual who gains many followers through “charisma” actually is only attracting a lot of people who like that individual’s particular kind of expression, due to past-life experiences they’ve had of a similar nature but not necessarily with that specific person.

      And here is something else to consider: A person with a “high vibrational aura” has developed that expression over many lifetimes of personal growth. They can use their advanced development for the betterment of humanity, or can fall back to a state of using it for personal gain. If the latter, then over time that person will diminish in their charismatic power. However, if that individual is a great soul or Being, using their hard-earned mental, psychic development for positive, constructive purposes of an unselfish nature, then that individual will continue to grow spiritually, and serve as a more integral part of the Universal Whole for the benefit of humanity.

      Sometimes, an individual rises into power or stature by using their abilities selfishly, attracting many followers who do not realize that what they are being drawn toward is, essentially, a “falling star” that will soon diminish in its brightness. My hope for you is that you will only be attracted to “rising stars” of the most benevolent form! 🙂 But in our great lessons as a growing soul, we often learn from our mistakes, and from the times in which we have been fooled by something bright and shiny that turned out to be dull and tarnished on the inside.

  99. Marie H. says:

    Hi Lianne,

    I’m in a predicament and I’m hoping to figure it all out. I am engaged to my bf (now fiance) of 7 years. We are planning on getting married in about 7 months. About 3 months ago I got a new coworker at my work. At first I ignored him and thought nothing of it. We discovered we had a mutual friend and started talking more at work. I felt so comfortable talking with him, it felt like I had known him my entire life. He would tell me the same. We went out one night after work and he kissed me. I had always been against cheating, and at first I felt guilty, but there was something that kept drawing me to him. It was getting to the point of us talking every day and getting butterflies when we would see each other. I honestly felt such a strong, close connection with him instantly and I kept telling him that I must have known him in a past life. He agreed. We ended up telling each other we love eachother. Problem is, I’m still engaged. I love my fiancé but I don’t have the close intense sexual connection that I do with my coworker. I’m not sure if this is something I should pursue or if I should cut it off with the coworker. He and I have been argueing lately, mainly because he wants me to give him 100% and leave my fiancé. I get along with my fiancé and he’s a good guy. There is just this magnet that keeps pulling me to the other guy.

    • Gahhh!! Marie!!!! Can you hear that chorus of people reading this who are screaming at you: “Don’t marry anyone right now!”

      This isn’t even a question of past lives, although that is certainly the only explanation for your confusion. So let me calm down a moment and answer you straight. Or rather, since I really am not the “Past Life Ann Landers” 🙂 let me ask you a question: Why would you marry someone who is so disconnected to you and your emotions that you feel he’s just a “good guy” (whom you found it so easy to cheat on) and you “get along”? I suppose you must be fairly young and you don’t realize what long years of marriage to a so-so, okay kind of guy, the kind you’re only a little bit into, are going to be like? I know sooooo many women stuck in that frightful situation, where now they have NOTHING in common with their spouses yet can find no way out. Don’t do it!

      The only answer that makes any sense to me is, of course, a past life continuity with the fiance, from a time where marriage was a matter of convenience, expedience, politics, and/or wealth. And how many films have you seen where these “convenient” or even inconvenient mediocre relationships became prisons for both individuals? You’ve already relived this situation for seven years, you say! If you didn’t marry during that time, why now? Because you’re just not into him, and he’s just not that into you, as that popular book explained so well.

      Do you wonder why I’m not mentioning the co-worker? Because he is only relevant as a means to demonstrate to you that you are in the wrong kind of relationship with your fiance! I call this kind of relationship “the Crowbar” effect, designed to wrench you out of a place you’re stuck. Surely, you’ve known the co-worker in past lives, as well. Hence the strong connection and pull, one strong enough to convince you to cheat on your “bf.” I’m assuming that stands for boyfriend, not best friend, because if he were, you’d be passionately connected to him (the fiance) and no magnet would be strong enough to pull you away. This affair with the co-worker is your higher self at work, and perhaps a member of your soul family (if such things exist) coming to you in hopes of rescuing you from a life of horrors. An old friend, arrived on time to try to save you from a huge mistake. Imagine if you have children with a man you really don’t care about! ay-yiyi … Marie!

      Stop everything! Stop planning a wedding! Become celibate if you have to! You truly need to slow down, take many deep breaths, move out if you’re living with the bf, shake up your life, and start over. Go out and find some supportive counseling or alternative healing therapy. Read some books. Learn more about yourself. Ah, right — you were doing this — good for you! for whatever search landed you here! Excellent first step, and again, your own higher self guiding you to get some help, to realize the mistakes underway that you still have time to correct.

      Here’s a prediction: Once you extricate yourself from the wrong guy (the fiance), the relationship with your co-worker will change, having served its purpose. Don’t make the mistake of jumping into that one with both feet either. Not right now. If you are able to end the marriage plans, and dud of a relationship with the bf, you will become a different person. Wait until you know who you are again before setting up any lasting bonds. Which leads us right back to “Don’t marry anyone right now!”

      Now, dear sweet soul, you might not be able to follow my strong advice, for if you do, you will stand out from the herd and make some progress–through simple past life awareness–that will speed you ahead in your evolution and save you at least one lifetime of suffering. You’ve probably already suffered in this bf relationship, and were merely reliving the old energies, ready to repeat a big mistake. Do thank and treasure your coworker for the service he has done for you … and if anything true and lasting remains, and you are both free of other commitments, then consider pursuing that one. But only then. My very best loving wishes for you! I’d love to know how it all turns out …

  100. Ann says:

    Hi Lianne,

    What an intelligently written article and an amazing collection of experiences shared.Your thoughtful replies to so many people seeking guidance makes me want to ask your input.

    I’ve lived in many different cities in several different countries. I was born in the US and went with my parents to their country of origin when I was an infant. We travelled a lot when I was a child and I returned to the US 20+ yrs ago. With my then husband and daughter. I never believed in past life till I moved into a small town 3 hrs from my birthplace in USA. I started recognizing a few people and having multiple metaphysical experiences. One person I recognized – our friendship fulfiled it’s need as soon as karmic debts were paid bilaterally.

    However there is one man I dated over 3 months – will call him W, and have had the strangest set of experiences. It was extremely intense from the get go and I knew 3 days before I met him that “something of great importance in my love life would happen on Aug 8 because I heard it in my head when praying to have a happy married life like my parents who were married on Aug 8 the.delves. So I did meet W on that day under unusual circumstances and we were both very attracted. Over the course of time I recognized him as a husband from a past life and having a happy life with him. I would see a scene ply out in my head and a few min later he’d turn up and the exact t scene would happen. We broke up and it was painful for me. I cont’d to channel him over time..a year or 2 later eve
    If he was in the same bldg if know from the tickle at the nape of my ndcm. One night I sat up watching a lightning storm outside and suddenly found these thoughts running in my head…like a realization of some truth I was hearing from my soul: ” I love W more than I have loved anyone else and another part of me asked how could I love a stranger more than my children ? And my soul said I very loved him for all time..
    from the beginning of time…from before time…and I was told more strange things and concepts I’d never heard of. I saw him in my bed one night a d could touch and hear and see him and he asked me about a deep pain I had. I’ve seen or felt him near me se real times and always at night when I get up for a drink stc.

    It’s been a long time since we 1st met…5 yrs ago…I was in the ER recently and was trying to sleep and suddenly felt and relived every moment t of every date we had. ..each was very sweet.

    I never found closure. He may or may not have recognized me (highly intuitive guy )…and he has been with his woman since we broke up.

    I’ve uncorded myself several times and seen him in past life regressions a couple of times as a spouse…but also had this sense he is always WITH me and is my rigjt half of my body.

    I still miss him on soul and heart level. Intellectually he behaved like jerk.
    Am still trying to figure out why we met and what lesson was learned from our ending.

    Please share your wisdom.THANKS!

    • Hmmmmm …… you’ve almost stumped me with this one, so I am asking my Cosmic CoAuthors to help out as always with some insight for us both. They have pointed out a few things:

      Our attachments and associations with others remain, uninfluenced by life and death, separations and divisions, and are something that we can “attune” to at any given point in time, or when we are not “in time” but in an astral or higher-astral state-of-being between lives. If he comes into your consciousness, it is because you have dialed in his frequency, so to speak. You have invited this mental connection.

      However, one can also create what is known as a thought-form obsession. In other words, our minds are so powerful we can actually create a kind of living energy formation that takes on a shape and manifestation according to how we have designed it. This form of astrally-existing obsession might mimic entity possession, or it might seem like a real person when it is truly not. (Just to complicate our lives further!)

      Which one are you experiencing? I do not know. But perhaps you do? I think your last line is most important: “I am still trying to figure out … what lesson was learned …” Since he no longer wishes to continue a close, personal relationship, and he must have his reasons pertaining to his individual soulic development needs, then you are left with this puzzle to determine how to gain something of value from the brief, three-month association. I don’t know how healthy it is for you to continue to “obsess” about him, but you should take some time to consider if this is beneficial, on a soul level, or holding you back or holding you to the past in some unhealthy way.

      As for the past life element of your connection — of course! You knew I would agree with that. But we all have individual paths that we must follow for our evolutionary learning purposes. If you have not chosen to be together in this present lifetime, I believe it must be for a good reason, since it sounds like you did have the opportunity. (Or is there some aspect you failed to mention? Perhaps a conflict with marriage to another? or children? or ??) I, too, have had at least one relationship in the present lifetime that we did not pursue, even though we were aware of a past life in which we had been a happily married couple, and we married for a brief time in the present life. But it soon became apparent that we would not be happy trying to recreate the past; that in the present time, we each had different agendas to pursue in order to fulfill our deepest spiritual objectives. So we parted as friends, and have since both gone off to live quite happily and contentedly with other partners. It was good to meet up again—and very good for us to part company. 🙂 “Happily ever after” does not mean continually repeating the same type of association, lifetime after lifetime!

      Your comment and those of others (and thank you very much for posting!) inspired me to do some updating on a blog post I wrote several years ago on the subject of “astral obsession” aka “spirit possession.” Here’s the link for those who might be interested:

      • Ann says:

        Hi Lianne,

        I’ve wondered myself sometimes when is it premonition and when is it manifestation.I think there has been both. And thanks for telling me about materializing a thought into physical form….It obviously is not healthy. I guess I’ve come to terms with many of the people who have past life connections with me but not having closure is an annoying niggling thought…and prone to obsession of course. I didn’t know he was separated till the middle of our 21st date and I said I couldn’t date him but he kept coming back while he quickly filed for divorce. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and I gave into the intense and powerful attraction/ connection and cont’d to see him.There were all these synchronicity es we both noticed etc but eventually he knew I was not willing to compromise my values about dating someone not divorced. We went out 5 times only. Which is why I was taken aback by how powerful and intense things were. I told him to call me after his divorce but he went ahead and found someone who was okay with his status quo. Perhaps I put my values first but what kind of a role model would I be to my kids? If I could come out of my marriage and work on healing myself I think my partner should have that kind of commitment to himself too. The long and short of it is he was just not that into me.

        Thank you for your input and I s’ pose there is nothing to be gained by wasting another ounce of energy. And yes I have closed myself off to rships since then…ah the healing has been so slow. I do know the things that raise my vibration and will indulge myself in those to protect my aura. Perhaps there was a lesson in it for my kids (both are my soul mates esp the 2nd one…I knew the second his soul entered my body).And that in itself would be totally worth it.
        Much love to you and the Highers ♡

  101. Laurs says:

    Hi Lianne,

    I fell asleep with some Asian meditation music playing in the background one night and I dreamed I was sitting on a balcony of a house in what seemed like some 1920-30’s China town neighborhood. Suddenly, I saw cop cars arrive and start shooting at what I believe were gangsters. I sat there watching but completely unafraid. After the shooting stopped I heard a girl behind me sobbing so I stood up and gracefully (with confidence like I was a there to help in a ghostly or angelic way) walked over to a girl sobbing over a girl who was lying on the floor dying. This girl was a young Asian girl who had been shot by a stray bullet in the lower abdomen. I knelt down to wipe her tears as she was aware of her impending death. I leaned over and whispered in her ear “let yourself go, so you don’t get stuck between lives. It’s ok to let go.” She then told me, “I can’t leave my family this way.” I told her that I would spend my life time making sure they were ok. At that moment, she let out her last breath and died in my arms as I kissed her forehead. I woke up from that dream crying and had to immediately tell my mother and husband about it. As I was trying to understand how it was that I must’ve known this girl in another life I suddenly gasped and pulled up my shirt to look at my abdomen….I’ve had a large white birthmark ,EXACTLY where the girl was shot, all my life. What’s also crazy is that my family has always looked to me for guidance and mediation; the same situation that the girl that died seemed to be living. Can you better explain this to me?? I have a big idea of what it all means, but your words and/ or possible validation would be incredibly appreciated.



    • Thank you, Laura, for sharing yet another amazing story with us. Sounds to me as if you have explained it all: that you were the dying girl, and that you now, in your present life, have felt the sense of responsibility to make up for “leaving” your family sooner than you would have liked in that prior lifetime.

      Trust your sense of truth about this! We are the ones who can best validate our experiences of this nature, for every thread and fiber of our being, our energy-makeup, knows the story of our many lives. We carry this energy with us from life to life, until and unless we do something to redesign or change those patterns within us. And we do! Constantly, we are given opportunities to revise our thinking, our actions, and our perceptions — to grow, in other words, into the new beings we can become, improving and discarding, improving and discarding — or, discarding and improving! Either way, it is important to know of past lives mostly so that we can untangle any threads that still hold us back, and learn from them in order to carry the best parts forward, and leave behind the rest.

      I am curious about your present life. Do you think your family members are one and the same individuals you left behind? Some or all of them? Perhaps you have met some of those individuals in different sorts of relationships in your present life? And I would also caution you on one point: Do not let that untimely, early death push you into feeling OVER-responsible for others. Often, our guilts and sense of failure from previous lives can unbalance our thoughts and actions in the present, so that we are tilting to one side, so to speak. We may lean too far one way or another, overcompensating for something that happened lifetimes ago and is no longer truly relevant. This is one primary, good reason for developing past life awareness: So that we can temper our reactions in the present, and live a happier balance. I hope that you will find the gold from that tragic experience and make the most of it! Love to you —

      P.S. to those who wonder: Yes, Laura could easily have appeared in her own dream, comforting her former self, sharing what she has since learned about life after death and life between lives. This dream was reflecting some of the healing she is undergoing currently in her work with Self. My article and my reply are merely supportive catalysts in this ongoing process she has undertaken, with help from her inner spiritual teachers. Do you agree, Laura, that you are well on your way in this inner healing?

  102. Divya Danny says:

    Hi miss lianne
    I’m here with a serious problem.I met a man a year back in facebook accidentally.He is one of my friend’s friend.I felt a strong surge of attraction for him. I don’t know him personally but he is haunting me very much in dreams.I don’t need him at any cost.He also never want a relationship with me(I came to know about it).He is living happily but I am dumped in this strange problem -his face comes to my thoughts often so I am losing my attention.I have seen two doctors for relief from it but no use.His face comes to me even at situations that never match.Im sure I had a past life relationship with him,but when he is not ready to accept it why should I?So please miss Lianne tell me something about this….I and him had no friendly talk because he is from a very conservative family.Somehow I need to get him out of my thoughts.I am quite sure he will never come in my way…..So I don’t need to waste life…pls say something to forget a past life relationship

    • Hello — This is an opportunity to mention something to everyone: If you have a feeling that you knew someone in a previous life, then simply trust that feeling. You probably did. As for any kind of thought that comes back to you obsessively (you cannot dispel it), this is a psychological situation that goes far beyond my expertise. You alone, or with the help of professionals, will have to learn how to edit your thoughts, or how to direct your consciousness where you want it to be. It’s a challenge we all face. No one else can do this for us. If he is coming into your mind, it is because you have put out the welcome mat in some way. You will have to discover how you have done that, and remove the open door. I have written a great deal about learning to manage your consciousness, and your past life associations, in my book, Speed Your Evolution. I wish you great success in this endeavor to free yourself!