Have you ever heard someone say, “This economy isn’t helping matters…” or “If only I had more money…” or even “My relationship would be better if…” ? If you, or anyone else you know has every said something similar to these phrases, maybe you have noticed something that is constant amongst all three. Do you know what it is? Don’t worry, I will tell you. The constant between all three of these statements is: Blaming something, or someone else for how our lives turn out.
You see, in general terms people are lazy. They’d rather sit all day long on the beach, being served the finest wines, with $2million in the bank. Now, lazy isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Unless, you are being lazy as a way to avoid something you know you should do. So therefore, is nothing wrong with this beach-side image. Most that have attained such success know that living that way for to long yields the same stagnant lifestyle as when without that luxury. Therefore, change and variety is good. Good for the soul, body, and mind. But what yields a successful person over a unsuccessful person? The key is in how a successful person takes responsibility for, not only their life, but their actions. This means, you’ll be able to be lazy but just in a responsible way.
There an ole’ quote about responsibility that goes like this: “You have not gone from childhood to grown up until you have taken 100% responsibility for your life.”
As children we are instructed to take control of what we do and learn to operate within the world. We are told that thing aren’t easy and we aren’t going to be able to control every situation that comes upon us. We are also told that some things “just happen” and we’re going to have to learn to deal with them. Although most of this information is good, it’s not all correct. Maybe we can’t control every situation, but we can take full 100% responsibility for every situation. And here is how:
Taking 100% responsibility is done via THREE KEY components:
1. Action Awareness: You MUCH, and I repeat, MUST become aware of the actions you are taking – every moment possible. When you do something you aren’t please with, ask yourself if this action contributed to your future success or the benefit of others. If it didn’t fit this criteria, then it needs to be changed for the equivalent beneficial action. Change: This is a skill that will strengthen with time. Embracing change for the better is a skill that will not only serve you in your personal life, but your entire life. Embrace not only change that happens to you but also the change that is needed to effectively change your life.
2. Environment Crafting: Set up your environment, whether it’s: business, home, etc. So that it’s conducive to a space that will yield you successful outcomes. Even your car! Take charge and responsibility for the environments you inhabit. This will show responsibility and people will take notice. The key to this is that you make sure you have everything in place that you think you might need in order to succeed in the next 5-10 years. Meaning, if you had to use this space only for the next 5-10 years, with continued growth in mind, how would it look? Who would you like to be in the environment with you? What types of systems would be set up to ensure congruency? What would your ultimate environment look like, feel like, smell like, be like? Once you have made this a reality in your mind, make it a reality in the physical form.
3. Unexpected Situations: This is the one that everyone gets caught up on. They say, “Well, I might be able to control my actions, thoughts, and environments, but I can’t control what happens to me!” In fact, this is the very concept that, usually, propels people back into the state of blaming. They say, “Well, that person hit my car so now I’m going to have a bad day.” or “That deal didn’t go through so now my boss is going to hate me.” or even better “It’s raining outside so that means its a gloomy day.” Yes, if it’s raining outside it will have a gloomy “feel” to it. With this component, it’s not so much about what happens to us as much as it is how we handle the situation. For instance, I noticed that during really rainy days I would get less accomplished versus when it was nice outside. I was completely puzzled. Nothing changed except the weather – or was it just the weather? You see, we tend to base our internal state on the external world. Therefore, every time it rained my internal state would change – thus rendering me less effective. This is something we can control, and I did by meditationally imagining a bright and sunny day and all the things I would do when it was sunny out. When situations arise that are out of our control, our responsibilities lie in three categories: 1. State of mind during the uncontrollable situation. 2. Our thought process during the situation. 3. Our plan of reaction to the situation.
Take responsibility of your life today. Make it so everyone can say, “He/She is very organized and knows exactly what they want. They seem to have their faculties in order.” And, you do. You have the wherewithal to be present in every moment, making your life the way you want it to be.